*BONUS* Franchise Review: Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys (2004)

 

Well, of course I couldn't leave out this little gem from my journey through the Puppet Master series. I didn't include it in the regular series because as Charles Band himself said, it is not an official part of the Puppet Master canon. But thank goodness it still even exists, because it is one wonderfully, terribly, horribly bad awesome movie.

The head of evil toy company Sharpe Industries, Erica Sharpe, has plans to unleash millions of killer toys on Christmas morning, with the help of the demon Bael and the Demonic Toys. Meanwhile, the last two members of the Toulon family, Robert and his daughter Alexandra, resurrect their puppet guardians just in time to fight Miss Sharpe and save themselves and millions of innocent lives.

I simply cannot praise this movie enough. I mean, Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys simply has everything you could want from a cheesy, cheap movie about dolls that come to life. Hilariously bad dialogue. Hilariously over-the-top acting. Hilariously bad animation and sound effects. Stupid, way-too-informative title cards. This entry doesn't necessarily fit the tone of the other Puppet Master films (though a few of them came dangerously close) but it is still a welcome addition simply because of how much fun it is. The film moves at a fast pace while still managing to cover all its bases story-wise, and the comedy keeps you wanting more with each new bizarre development.

Sidenote: You know what one of my favorite things about these cheap movies is? Ill-fitting and very, very fake-looking police uniforms. For some reason, it always makes me laugh when I see some poor actor who has to wear one of those because it just looks so ridiculous. Sergeant Russell, I feel for you.

Now, I'm sure everyone loves Corey Feldman's performance the best out of those in this movie, but he is more than equally matched in hilarity by Vanessa Angel, who plays Erica Sharpe. She plays a typical HBIC with a touch of a spoiled teenager very well, and delivers every stupid line she has to say with amazing talent. Plus, she wears that one odd red dress like a BOSS. But yes, Corey Feldman rocks the house. Not only does he play a man whose daughter is about the same age that he is, but he also completely brings down the dignity of the name Toulon with one hysterical, totally committed performance. He's having fun with it, so therefore, the audience is too and that's all you can really ask for in a movie like this. Feldman also gets the absolute best line in the movie: "Baby Oopsy kicked my butt!"

Speaking of which, there's a lot of interesting stuff with the dolls here. On the Puppet Master side, we have what seems to be the core four: Blade, Jester, Pinhead, and Six Shooter. I hate to keep harping on how the look of the dolls seems off from movie to movie, but is so much worse here. Poor Blade! Why did he have to have such long hair? And there's just something weird about the faces on Six Shooter and Jester. Actually, they all look pretty shitty, let's just say it. Anywho, our favorite puppets just as likable as ever here, and they are even rewarded for being so awesome by getting some nifty upgrades from Robert, like laser guns and super-strong titano-arms. This is all made even more amazing during the final fight sequence with the Demonic Toys. My man Jester finally gets a useful weapon when his right hand is replaced by a shiny new mace. You go, cutie.

On the evil toy side, we have Baby Oopsy Daisy, Jack Attack, and Grizzly Teddy, who were just as entertaining as I remember them from when I saw the first Demonic Toys movie many years ago (I know, I need to catch up). Being the only talking toy of the bunch, Baby Oopsy Daisy does his part to stay rude and crude and keep the fun alive while Jack Attack and Grizzly Teddy are just really scary. Was Baby always able to do that little fart-and-fly move that he does in this movie? 'Cause that's stupid. But I still love it. Jack Attack seems to have the best skill of them all, though, as he makes a guy's eyeballs pop out of his head in the climax scene. Nice!

I could really talk about how awesome each individual scene is in Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys, but that would obviously take too long. If you've already seen the movie, you know what I'm talking about. And if you haven't seen it, you really need to do that right now.

Okay, so NOW the Puppet Master series has been completed! Any more suggestions for what franchise I should tackle next? Hellraiser, Subspecies, Pumpkinhead? What say you?

Franchise Review: Puppet Master X: Axis Rising (2012)

 

As they say, all good things must come to an end. My journey through the highs and lows of the Puppet Master series of films will officially be over at the conclusion of this review. It really has been a good time discovering this series on my own, especially because it is a known but not very popular or much talked-about series in the community. I can't say that I enjoyed all the movies (FUCK YOU, LEGACY) but I've enjoyed the series' sense of the fun, the characters, and of course, the puppets.

Puppet Master X: Axis Rising picks us up right after the events of Axis of Evil. Tunneler ends up the hands of another Nazi in town, Kommandant Moebius. He and his sexy Nazi bitch Uschi are forcing an Austrian doctor named Freuhoffer to perfect their resurrection machine which would allow them to create unkillable German soldiers. Danny and Beth get the help of an army sergeant to both rescue Tunneler and stop this nefarious scheme from coming to light.

There is some of the new and some of the old in this final Puppet Master film. All our favorite puppets are back, for one: Blade, Pinhead, Jester, Leech Woman, Tunneler, and Six Shooter all get their chance to shine here in one way or another. Danny and Beth are also back, and the actors playing them have been replaced with newer, but not necessarily better models. It's okay though, because there are plenty of other things to be entertained by in this movie. The new that Axis Rising brings is that of four - count 'em, FOUR - new puppets. Though these newbies play for the other team, some of them are really fun, and it's a bit sad that they only get to be in one movie.

Before we get into the new puppets, though, we gotta talk about some of the human characters. Like I said, the new Danny and Beth are not really as likable as the ones in the previous film because they feel a bit like caricatures of those original people. Sergeant Stone is a bit like a caricature himself, too, but that's mostly because of the actor's look. He's still a fun character and brings in some nice comic relief. Moebius is also quite silly. However, he is not nearly as silly as his female counterpart, the aforementioned sexy Nazi bitch Uschi, who they decided to make the most prominent figure on the cover art. I WONDER WHY. This chick's performance is easily the most ridiculous thing about the movie and you know it from the second she steps on screen. Boobie-revealing white button shirt, army boots with heels, and a some kind of whip or cane that she makes amazing use of by giving the audience all kinds of sexy, dominatrix-y poses. Don't even get me started on her accent. It's terrible, that's all there is to say.

Blade and the other puppets look a little bit different once again but the puppeteering brings out all their different personalities well, and that's something that hasn't been done well for a couple movies now. Now, about those new puppets. Once Freuhoffer examines Tunneler and extracts the serum, he realizes that it will not work on humans. So he nixes the resurrection machine (which was stupid anyway) and quickly becomes an amateur puppet builder, creating Bombshell, Blitzkrieg, Weremacht, and Kamikaze. Bombshell is actually Uschi after Moebius kills her, and she has very powerful little machine guns behind her metal-plated fake boobies. Blitzkrieg looks kinda like Torch, but has a tank for a body and both of his arms are guns. The only thing interesting about Weremacht is that he looks like a werewolf and I don't know what else he does. Kamikaze is a direct insult to every Asian both in his look and in the noises he makes. The bomb on his back serves as an important plot device, so I guess they thought the rest of it was okay. Bombshell and Leech Woman get the best parts in the movie when they have two amazingly hilarious cat fights in the film's conclusion, complete with hair pulling. So, so funny.

Axis Rising follows the trend of the rest of the films by not being all that exciting action-wise. There are a few deaths, but nothing crazy or even bloody at all, but I was okay with that mostly. The movie is kind of cheesy and kind of bad, and I really didn't want or expect anything more. I've come to love that cheesy appeal of the Puppet Master films, which Axis Rising fits into very nicely.


So there you have it, horror fiends! That is the Puppet Master journey from beginning to end! Now I'm off to discover some new horror series.... wonder what I'll pick...

While you're waiting for that, here are the links to all my other Puppet Master reviews, in case you care:
Puppet Master
Puppet Master II
Puppet Master III: Toulon's Revenge
Puppet Master 4
Puppet Master 5: The Final Chapter
Curse of the Puppet Master
Retro Puppet Master
Puppet Master: The Legacy
Puppet Master: Axis of Evil

Franchise Review: Puppet Master [9]: Axis of Evil (2010)

 

I have finally gotten over my anger at Puppet Master 8 long enough to trudge along to the next film in the series. It wasn't easy, I tell you. That movie was a really, really disappointing piece of shit. Granted, Puppet Master: Axis of Evil, the ninth film in the series, is not hugely impressive or anything but it's still a fuck of a lot better than its predecessor.

Taking place literally immediately after the first Puppet Master, this film introduces a new master that has never been mentioned before. Young Danny Coogan works at the Bodega Bay Inn and takes the puppets from their hiding spot after Andre Toulon kills himself. The Nazis who came after Toulon apparently also had another mission - and Danny and the puppets work together to put a stop to them.

So I had a slight panic attack at the beginning of this movie when they started showing archival footage from the original Puppet Master. But thankfully only just enough was used to establish the new timeline, and actually, the old and the new footage blend together fairly well. The Nazi guys are obviously completely different, but the set was recreated with some care, and it was wonderful to see the original Toulon, William Hickey, again (although I prefer Guy Rolfe). Also a bit physically different are the puppets themselves. The design of Blade and Pinhead in particular are just a little off, although not radically.

If you've followed my Puppet Master reviews thus far, you've probably realized that I like the story best when it deals with Toulon and the Nazi angle. Well, Toulon obviously doesn't make it into this story so that sucks. Incredibly bad and stilted acting aside, the Nazi angle gets handled as best it can. Apparently, it was part of Hitler's evil plan for two random Nazis to hook up with one random Japanese chick to blow up this one random building in New York. There is some kind of American "secret ingredient" inside for making their missiles more powerful or something stupid like that, I don't remember. What I remember most from this movie is the horrible dialogue delivery from Dragon Lady, with all kinds of weird pauses and such. Oh, and her nails are also quite memorable. Those things were out of control. I like the color, though.

Sadly, once again, the puppets seem to only be a small plot point in Axis of Evil. We have to go through the whole thing of Danny messing with the puppets and figuring out how to animate them - INJECT THE GREEN STUFF INTO THEIR NECKS, JACKHOLE - and then they occasionally get some screen time. But really, why did he have to animate them again anyway? He got them literally right after Toulon put them into the trunk, so shouldn't they still be animated? This movie introduces us to a brand-new puppet, a ninja puppet cleverly named Ninja. The fun side to this guy is that he has the soul of Danny's brother Don, who as they establish a few times earlier in the movie is really good at sneaking up on people. See what they did there? Ninja has his trusty throwing stars and pretty much looks like a ninja except for his weird glowy red eyes. And Leech Woman is back!

Aside from the aforementioned Dragon Lady, the acting in this installment is surprisingly not that bad. It's incredibly cheesy and lame, like a bad war effort promotional video from the actual time period or something, but all the actors do their best with it. Danny, Don, their mother, and Danny's girlfriend Beth are quite likable (but still lame). It's pretty cruel when Mom and Don are gunned down by Nazi Klaus, but at least this part kicks off the final action sequence of the film. Leech Woman even gets in on it when she pukes up a leech onto the plate of one of the Japanese bodyguards and he stupidly eats it and somehow dies from it. The other bodyguard is tunneled in the head by Tunneler; Klaus gets a throwing star in his eye; and Max gets stabbed by Ninja. Dragon Lady escapes the film and the building with a bag that has the remaining puppets - Blade, Pinhead, and Ninja are left out - and the film ends by heavily implying that the next installment will be a direct continuation of this story. If it's not, then I will just be really pissed off and disappointed because that is no way to end a movie.

Puppet Master: Axis of Evil is actually not a bad entry into the series. It's not really great, either, just... passable. More important though, guys: Do I really just have ONE film left before I have completely finished the Puppet Master series? I can hardly believe it.

Franchise Review: Puppet Master [8]: The Legacy (2003)

 

WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK. What kind of bullshit shenanigans are they playing with us here, with Puppet Master: "The Legacy"? Well at least I could get some other stuff done while watching this movie because 95% of it was archival footage from all the previous Puppet Master films. I feel like there should have been some warning about that.

The present day story of this movie has the new Puppet Master, Hertz (the child that Andre Toulon saved from the Nazis in Puppet Master 3: Toulon's Revenge), being confronted by some serious military chick with a gun claiming that she wants the secret formula. Then they just sort of waste time with each other going over all the events of all the previous movies.

How in the world am I supposed to write a review for this movie? There is really no reason for this movie to even exist, and all it does is spit on whatever "legacy" that the series has earned for itself thus far. I love the Puppet Master movies, and while some have been mildly disappointing in their own ways, this is the first one to just be a total suckfest. I mean, did they really expect any other reaction to this laziness? I guess I will say that the one thing that this installment does right is to use the best parts of all the previous movies during the archived footage scenes. It was nice to see the stuff from Toulon's Revenge again, for instance, which is still the best out of the entire series. Also, the old footage is much better quality in this movie, so that's another very small, minor plus.

I can't give Puppet Master: The Legacy too much more positive feedback. All the new footage, save for one small scene at the beginning, consists of the chick and Hertz in one room of the Bodega Bay Inn, even though you would have never guessed that they were there if they hadn't told you. Also, the chick's name is apparently Maclain (according to wiki) but I don't remember anybody ever saying that. The actors are okay enough, but that's not much of a compliment since they don't really do anything. I really missed Toulon this time around - I'm sorry, I mean anything NEW involving Toulon. There was plenty of shit that I've already seen in the seven movies before this. Only Toulon's voice from the tape recorder is in this movie, and it's not even Guy Rolfe's voice so fuck that, seriously. Blade, Jester, Pinhead, Tunneler, and Six Shooter only really appear as background observers here and don't get to do anything, so fuck that too.

Just fuck this whole movie. I've already given it more attention than it deserves. Next one, please.

Franchise Review: Retro Puppet Master (1999)

 

Though I've had to take a bit of a break from the Puppet Master series, I sure haven't forgotten about it. We have now arrived to film number seven, which means that there are still three more sequels to go (I think I'm going to forgo covering the crossover films, at least for now). I was sort of excited for Retro Puppet Master because, as the title and synopsis told me, the plot was going back in time again to focus on Toulon and his beginnings as the Puppet Master. It's not completely satisfying, though.

Back in Cairo, a sorcerer is being chased by followers of Sutekh because he has stolen the secret of life, he dispels of the bad guys and escapes to Paris, while Sutekh raises three mummies to chase him. In 1902 Paris, a young Andre Toulon is doing puppet shows at a local theater, and a pretty girl named Elsa (his future wife) becomes interested in him. Elsa and Toulon save the sorcerer from two goons, and as he lays dying, he teaches Toulon the secret of life.

Damnit, not this Sutekh bitch again. I thought we were done with him. I don't like this guy, not sure why, but at least there are none of those stupid little spiny demons this time around. I do like Toulon, even though he's younger and has an annoying accent and is not Guy Rolfe. Anywho, the movie is set up like a frame story where the older Toulon is still in hiding from the Nazis and he comes upon a piece from one of his older puppets, and starts to reminisce to Blade and the others about his beginnings.

One problem with this is that the method for bringing about life is entirely different from how previous films established it. There's no glowing green liquid that is injected into the puppets, but more of a ritual with a simple incantation and poof! Living puppets. This all actually makes way more sense for the secret's ancient Egyptian origins, actually, so this didn't really bother me. What did bother was kind of how pointless this movie was. I mean, we pretty knew all this stuff already, right? And what little details we didn't know don't end up being all that interesting so there was no point. Seeing Elsa and Toulon being all cute together was nice, though.

The action doesn't really pick up until the 45-minute mark, when the mummies come after the sorcerer and end up killing all of Toulon's puppeteers. After that, the film is sort of like Puppet Master 3, where Toulon - using the souls of his dead puppeteer friends to animate the retro puppets - goes all revenge-y on the Sutekh mummies. Their first encounter with them is not at all that exciting, though a little amusing because of how lame it is. And when the mummies have been defeated, Sutekh just raises them again anyway. Bullshit! It's not until they kidnap Elsa that Toulon finally gets rid of them in another terribly disappointing fight sequence - on a train of all places, too!

Oh, and those mummies - holy shit, are they annoying. First of all, they don't actually look like mummies, for those of you that might have been excited about that. They are disguised as just some regular dudes with suits, hats, and glasses and their voices have a strange reverb thing going on. Also, for some stupid ass reason, they all have to repeat each other's lines of dialogue whenever possible.

As for the retro versions of the puppets... eh, I didn't really like them. Puppets that get the retro treatment are Blade, Pinhead, Six Shooter, and two new ones, Dr. Death and Cyclops. Retro Tunneler is given the name of Drill Sergeant which is, I'm sorry, a WAY better name than Tunneler. The designs on all of them were cool, and I liked the subtle differences that were made. The retro versions might even be better designed than the modern versions of the puppets - but things just aren't the same. These puppets have the souls of different people and you can tell that they have different personalities than the previous films.

All in all, I was somehow more bored than usual with this installment. It's good, but feels a bit unnecessary most of the time. I don't like Sutekh. I think the last few films have to do with the Nazi involvement and that sounds so much more interesting. Here's hoping (as usual)!

Franchise Review: Curse of the Puppet Master (1998)

 

Apparently taking a cue from another famous horror film franchise that claimed to have a "final chapter," this sixth Puppet Master film, Curse of the Puppet Master, may have brought the series back to life but it really didn't do a good job of it. Once again, I'm left hoping that there are still better things to come.

Andre Toulon's puppets have a new master named Dr. Magrew, who owns runs a roadside attraction called Magrew's Marvels (Wikipedia says it's the House of Marvels, but the sign totally says Magrew's Marvels so I'm just going with that) with his daughter Jane. After finding out that a local boy named Robert has a gift for woodcarving, Magrew hires him to help him create a puppet of his own - one that he will try to bring to life just like Toulon's puppets.

Looking back, Curse of the Puppet Master isn't really all that bad - it just has a much different feel from the rest of the films, and at times feels a bit out of place from the series as a whole. Magrew became the new puppet master by accident basically when he purchased Blade and Co. from an auction. And it becomes pretty clear as the movie goes on that he is not really a worthy master, as his intentions are much more sinister than just showing the puppets off as sideshow freaks for profit. Jane also seems to love and care for the puppets, especially Pinhead, but at times she treats and talks to them like pets rather than the people they actually are. It was a little annoying sometimes.

Robert, nicknamed "Tank" because of his size, is a bit like Lennie from Of Mice and Men - he's far too trusting of others, and simple-minded, but physically strong. This becomes important when he and Jane have to deal with the requisite band of town hooligans who threaten them because they have nothing better to do with their lives. In turn, Magrew has to deal with the local asshole sheriff who is just beyond annoying with his smug demeanor. So when you know that Puppet Master movies don't usually have that many deaths, you can at least count on the fact that jackholes like this will probably be on that short list.

And indeed, Curse of the Puppet Master has one of the best kills scenes of the franchise thus far. Hooligan crew leader Joey (who gets extra hatred points by threatening to rape Jane) is working out his buff bod on the bench press when Magrew sends Blade and Tunneler in after him. Aww, yeah. After listening to Joey talk smack to absolutely nobody, Blade shuts him up by slashing at this face, and then Tunneler of course does his tunneling thing - STRAIGHT INTO JOEY'S CROTCH. Fantastic. Later on, Blade and Jester team up to slash the shit out of the sheriff's face, which is also pretty fantastic, and Tunneler takes care of that other cop guy who isn't important enough for a name.

Curse of the Puppet Master actually manages to get pretty dark at times. The movie opens with Magrew apologizing to the puppets and saying something to them about how it'll be different next time, and then he's taking a cage covered in cloth to the woods and burning it - and faint screams of pain can be heard from the cage. Hmmmm. The dreams that Robert has where parts of his body have been replaced by wooden puppet parts are also clues as to what is going on. Well, it seems that Magrew is trying the whole "putting a human soul into the puppets to give them life" thing but he really sucks at it. The little guy in the cage at the beginning was Magrew's old assistant Matt and apparently his puppet transformation didn't go so well. It's pretty horrific when daughter Jane finally figures out what daddy is up to and finds the half-burned doll body in the woods - and the poor guy is still alive in there and obviously in a lot of pain. Then the ending gets all kinds of messed with Robert and Magrew... damn, Puppet Master. You're not supposed to end movies like that.

The story in Curse of the Puppet Master (WTF, that title doesn't even really make that much sense) is an okay one, but it's too individualized, and works mostly as a stand-alone film than one that is really a part of the series. The next Puppet Master takes us back to near the beginning... can't wait!

Franchise Review: Puppet Master 5: The Final Chapter (1994)

 

Wait a minute, didn't we just see this movie? Not only is Puppet Master 5: The Final Chapter definitely NOT the final chapter of the series, it also mostly felt to me like a complete rehash of Puppet Master 4, only with a slightly different outcome. This is mildly disappointing, even though the film is still a good entry to the franchise.

Puppet Master 5 takes place shortly after the fourth installment, when Rick is being interrogated for the murders of his friend Cameron and the two scientists, Dr. Baker and Dr. Piper. The new guy in charge of the artificial intelligence project, Dr. Jennings, bails Rick out, and Rick returns to his girlfriend Suzie's place with Blade. Meanwhile, the demon Sutekh has not given up and is preparing to send another tiny demon to take out Rick, this time imbuing the creature with his own power. Rick, Jennings, Suzie, and all of Toulon's puppets must once again battle it with Sutekh to stop him for good.

The first thing I want to mention is something I haven't yet talked about with the Puppet Master series. I really love the theme music, which can usually be heard during each film's opening credits and in small doses throughout the movie. It has a bit of a carnival or vaudeville vibe to it that fits in nicely with Toulon's history as a marionette showman. It's a jaunty and somewhat upbeat tune, with just the right amount of creepy - perfect for the series.

Okay, back to the movie. It's hard to talk about Puppet Master 5 on its own because it is basically Puppet Master 4 Part 2. At the beginning of the movie, they even go through a long retelling of the whole story of the fourth film, complete with re-edited clips and a voiceover from Rick. Then we get to move on to the story of the fifth film, where once again, we are back at the Bodega Bay Inn. I'm getting a little sick of this place. The story this time basically consists of the same damn characters are fighting the same damn thing - only this time it is less exciting because there is only one little spiny demon to defeat. Granted, he's supposed to be more powerful than the minion demons from part 4, but he doesn't really do much to show this. The same actors come back to play Rick, Suzie, and Lauren, and all the puppets return as well - except for Leech Woman, who has been all but forgotten for the past two movies. Lauren spends most of this film the same way she spent the previous film - unconscious. She's in the hospital, and after getting vision's of Sutekh's return, she communicates psychically with Rick through his computer.

The only new addition is Dr. Jennings, one of those power-hungry SOBs who you know is going to die from the moment you meet him. He brings three hired losers to the Bodega Bay Inn to help him retrieve the puppets so he can make money off of discovering their power. The three losers - anybody else recognize the male rapist from Pulp Fiction?! - are a bumbling lot, and their only purpose in the film is to be hilarious fodder for both the puppets and the little Sutekh demon. Pulp Fiction Guy gets punched in the face by Pinhead for calling him ugly, and Jester hits him in the crotch with a mallet, all while the other two just wander around the hotel with flashlights and then get killed. Even after five movies, the Puppet Master series still can't boast that many inventive or exciting kills. The fifth installment is again rather boring on this front, with two guys slashed and their souls taken by little Sutekh, and Jennings falling down an elevator shaft after getting blown back by Torch's fire spurt.

There is one thing I noticed here that was different from previous films, though. For some reason, the puppets seemed to have much more personality this time around, and they were more like little humans than toys. This could be because of the way Rick talked to them, as friends who he knew would never hurt or betray him, but it also might be because of the puppeteering. It just seemed to me like their movements were more life-like, or more human-like, especially Blade and Jester. Jester has actually been my favorite puppet so far, if only because that surprise/worried face of his is so dang adorable.

Despite the similarities to its predecessor, Puppet Master 5: NOT The Final Chapter is still a pretty good flick. It wraps up a story in which I wasn't particularly interested, and boasts some decent acting, from both the humans and the puppets. I'm now officially halfway through the series, and it's been fun so far - can't wait to see what happens in the later installments.

Franchise Review: Puppet Master 4 (1993)

 

I seem to have spoken too soon about the increasing quality of the Puppet Master series. This fourth installment was a bit of a step back from the improvements that Puppet Master 3 made to the series, despite the fact that it gives us a lot more information about the series. We are slowly but surely peeling back the layers of the story, and though I'm less than impressed with Puppet Master 4, I'm still excited to learn more.

Puppet Master Andre Toulon's dolls are brought back to life by a young scientist named Rick, who is doing research on artificial intelligence in robots. The puppets must help Rick fight against three diminutive minions sent by the demon Sutekh to kill all those on Earth - including Rick - who are in possession of the secret magic of reanimation.

In the jumbled timeline of the series, Puppet Master 4 falls in sometime a little after Puppet Master 2... so far. Crazy things could happen later on, I don't know. The plot of the film is a bit jumbled itself, introducing a whole new set of (boring) characters and bringing up a plot point in the backstory that has never been mentioned before. It's a nice balance between keeping the movie moving in the present day and revealing more information about the mythos.

The movie takes place again at the Bodega Bay Inn, where Rick is working as a caretaker in the off season while doing his AI research. On the night that his friends Suzie, Lauren, and Cameron come to visit him, they discover Blade and the other puppets that have been stored there, along with Toulon's diary and some more of that magic green stuff. It's a bit of a happy coincidence that they reanimate the dolls at the same time that Sutekh is after Rick and his colleagues - two scientists who are killed in the first scenes of the film.

The life-giving magic has thus far been established as Egyptian in nature, but the new information that Puppet Master 4 gives us that those same Egyptians worshipped this "demon lord" Sutekh. He's a kind of Skeletor-looking guy with glowy eyes who can talk without opening or moving his mouth, and I guess he is the one who came up with the secret formula for the reanimation potion. Had the movie made this guy the main villain instead of those two-foot high spiny demons, I think things might have been more exciting. The demons might be mean, murdering little bastards but watching three full-grown adults cower in fear of them while letting the puppets fight their battles for them was a little sad to watch.

Also new to this movie and the series is the puppet Decapitron. His name makes him sound super bad ass, and he is the only one who is able to defeat Sutekh. He puts this thing on his head that somehow channels electricity and manages to blow up the last of the minions. Also in addition to his interchangeable heads is the fact that Toulon's spirit or something can be channeled through Decapitron, as Toulon's head appears on the doll's head from time to time to talk to Rick. Blade, Tunneler, Six Shooter, Pinhead, and Jester are all present in this fourth installment, but none of them really get to do much in comparison to the earlier films. They are mostly treated like toys by Rick and his friends, although the one scene where they are playing laser tag with Rick is pretty cute. The tagline for this film was "when bad puppets go good," and really, I like them either way. When they're bad, they're fun and when they're good, they're fun. They're heroes and villains. Like the Terminator.

The most likable person in the group of human characters is Suzie, played by Chandra West. This is mostly because she is one of those female characters that totally keeps their cool in horror movies. Just because the movie wasn't weird enough, the filmmakers made the other female character Lauren a psychic, which is what allows the group to find the dolls in the first place - and also what lets the minion demons into the hotel in the first place when Sutekh is able to possess her or something. So she's helpful and not so helpful at the same time. Cameron is played by Ash Adams and is a pretty smarmy guy, jealous of Rick's genius. He does, however, get the best line in the movie when he and Rick find a Nazi pin in Toulon's possessions and this exchange happens: "A Nazi?" "I hate those guys!" There is also a great part where Cameron gives the most hilarious high-pitched scream I've ever heard a guy make.  Wish I had a video of that. Rick himself is just your average nice guy geek, and there's nothing particularly interesting about him. This is especially disappointing when Toulon (his head appearing on Decapitron) informs Rick that he will be the new Puppet Master, put in charge of keeping the formula a secret. Oh goody.

Puppet Master 4 is a decent entry to the series, although bringing in this whole other crazy demon element was slightly confusing for a while. Eventually it gets a little better, but it's still not up to par with its predecessor, Toulon's Revenge. Almost halfway done with the series! I'm feeling good.

Franchise Review: Puppet Master III: Toulon's Revenge (1991)

 

Most of the time, it seems like the third film in a particular series is much weaker than the previous installments. The series loses its momentum, or maybe gets too distracted by backstory. In the case of Puppet Master, though, this is exactly what the series needed, and the third film - Toulon's Revenge - actually ends up being a bit better than both of its predecessors.

In Berlin 1941, puppet master Andre Toulon is sought out by the Nazis who want to utilize the same magic he uses on his puppets to bring dead soldiers back to life to use on the battlefield. Headed by Major Kraus, a group of Nazis arrive at Toulon's workshop to kidnap him, shooting his wife Elsa in the process. Toulon manages to escape and promises revenge on all those responsible for the death of his love.

First of all, yes, there are some major timeline issues established here. Toulon commits suicide in the first film in 1939 - a couple years before this film takes place. Not sure how they could have missed that one, but they did. Also, just before Toulon kills himself, he is working on creating Jester, and Blade seems like the established leader of the pack. However, in Toulon's Revenge, Jester already exists and Toulon does not build Blade until near the end of the film. I don't have an explanation for either one of these oversights except laziness or just outright not giving a shit and thinking audiences wouldn't notice.

These problems actually don't end up being that big of a deal, really. I liked the rest of the story presented here, mostly because it further explained an important part of the franchise's mythos, and because the characters and acting were surprisingly good. Though I didn't know their names before looking into this film and only recognized their faces, it was nice seeing actors like Richard Lynch as Major Kraus and Ian Abercrombie as Dr. Hess in Toulon's Revenge. They help bring better substance and realism to characters that otherwise might have been kitschy or campy - this goes for the new Andre Toulon as well, who is wonderfully played by Guy Rolfe. He's very different from William Hickey's Toulon in the first film, but still portrays him as a kindly old man who probably never would have used his "friends" for violence had not grief forced him to.

The story aspect that I quite enjoyed here was the fact that all of the puppets actually used to be people that Toulon knew in his life. This was touched upon in Puppet Master II, but it's given heavier meaning in part three because most of these people were victims of the Nazis. This is also true for Toulon's beloved and supportive wife Elsa when it is revealed that her spirit actually resides in the doll known as Leech Woman. To me this seems almost a little disrespectful to have his wife be quite possibly the grossest of all the puppets, but who knows? Maybe it's something they discussed previously. But probably not. Anyway, two other puppets - Jester and Pinhead - are the only other puppets that are given a backstory so far: two normal people struck down by the Nazis. Toulon fashions Blade to resemble Major Kraus, but does not actually put his soul into the doll. Blade is already animated during Kraus's death scene, so that confused me a little bit as to who he is really supposed to be.

The puppet featured most prominently in Toulon's Revenge is actually a new one (new to the series, but not new to the wonky timeline) - Six Shooter, the Wild West cowboy with six arms each holding a gun. I love his huge grin and flair for spinning all his guns at the same time. He has some good scenes, like when he's scaling the side of a building, and then later in the scene when he shoots General Mueller and sends him flying out the window. How those tiny guns could actually do any damage is anybody's guess. Maybe it has to do with the magic. Tunneler, however, gets to commit the best murder of all when he is in the car with Toulon and two Nazis after they have kidnapped him and Tunneler tunnels through the back of one of the Nazis seats and all the way through his body in a wonderfully bloody fashion. Nice! Major Kraus's death is also nicely elaborate and well done, when Toulon and the puppets spear him with hooks and ropes and suspend him from the ceiling - making him a human marionette - and then make him fall back to the ground right on top of a huge axe. The puppets themselves are puppeteered very well when they are in motion, and though the animation they use a few times is a little jerky, it's not horrible. Better than the previous film, at the least.

This is so weird, I'm actually really getting into these movies now, and I totally did not expect that. Puppet Master is not the greatest series of films so far but it's definitely getting better and it's definitely interesting. Toulon's Revenge is the best out of these first three, mostly because it does not have uninteresting and unimportant characters to follow and not care about. The story seems to work best when it is directly focused on Toulon and his puppets, so hopefully the latter movies will follow this same formula.

Franchise Review: Puppet Master II (1991)

 

Sometimes known as having the subtitle "His Unholy Creations," Puppet Master II still doesn't exactly live up to what I thought the series had to offer, but it's starting to go in the right direction. Even though plot is once again a bit convoluted and confusing, and the main characters are dull as dishwater, the puppets get to shine a lot more - and that's really all we want to see anyway.

The sequel opens with Pinhead and the other puppets resurrecting Andre Toulon from the grave with a magic potion. It then jumps to our main plot and cast members, who are a group of paranormal investigators setting up shop in the Bodega Bay Inn. They are there to look into the accusations of psychic Alex from the first film and what happened there, along with the strange death of Megan Gallagher. At the same time that the investigators either start to go missing or get murdered, a strange man appears at the hotel, claiming that he owns the place.

It's really not the greatest plot they could have come up with, but it seems to come mostly from necessity - the need for uninteresting characters to be the victims of the puppets. One thing that they improved upon plot-wise was giving the audience a bit more of a peek into the magic that brought the puppets to life and also what brought Toulon back. The puppets don't just kill because their master told them to - Toulon needs different parts of fresh human flesh for his potion. That's gross, but I like it. There is also some excitement in the addition of Torch, a bulky Nazi-looking puppet with bullets for teeth and a flame-throwing arm. He gives Blade a run for his money in the badassery department. I was happy to see that the puppets got more animation this time around, with many more shots of them, full-bodied, running and jumping around. And the animation wasn't too shabby.

So there are some crazy random scenes in Puppet Master II. First, the leader of the paranormal dudes is Carolyn, and her brother Patrick unfortunately becomes the first (seen) victim of the puppets when Tunneler tunnels into his forehead. This becomes a strange situation because the police are never involved, and there's a confusing scene of the characters all gathered around his body in some cold room. Wait, what? Did they just put him in the hotel's walk-in or something? Later on, there is another crazy and really inappropriate and suggestive scene of a child playing outside with his GI Joe, or Ken doll, I could go either way here. Anywho, for some reason, a six-year-old has a whip and proceeds to use it on his shirtless doll, who is leaning against a tree. I'll just give you a minute to ponder that... When Torch shows up in the scene, it's implied that he kills the boy but I really hope that isn't true.

Toulon's role in this movie is also quite strange. The audience is given a little more of his backstory when they show him and his wife Elsa procuring some of that aforementioned magic potion from a guy in Cairo. When Toulon shows up in the present, he arrives looking not unlike Claude Rains's The Invisible Man and calling himself Erique Chanee, even though it's more than obvious who he really is. And instead of focusing on restoring the diminishing power in his puppets, Toulon goes on a weird side-mission where he becomes convinced that Carolyn is his dead wife and wants to use the potion to bring her back or something. This is apparently not a good idea because it angers the puppets and they end up killing their own master. I'm a bit confused as to how this is going to work out in later movies if Toulon comes back again or something, because he seems to have a very complicated relationship with his puppets. Up until now they have seemed mostly loyal to him, but since they are puppets, I'm thinking there's not much of a conscience going on.

The movie ends on an insanely creepy note that thoroughly disturbed me, and I was glad to see it all over. Puppet Master II definitely has its quirks and its low-budget appeal, plus the addition of a bomb-ass new puppet and some more backstory on Toulon make me think that maybe the series is headed in the right direction. Eight more movies to go. Let's find out!

Franchise Review: Puppet Master (1989)

 

I have sometimes suffered greatly for this little blog. I put my faith in the Wishmaster series, only to be thoroughly crushed with each inept installment. I slogged through all of the Howling sequels - though that was sometimes fun. And now I will attempt to tackle another series that I am not quite familiar with: Puppet Master! I picked up a DVD pack with all the films (except the last one) for just 99 cents at my last convention, so hopefully the only thing I will be wasting is time if they end up sucking.

The first film opens with the Puppet Master himself, Andre Toulon hiding away his puppets in the wall of a hotel before two assassins can get to him. Why they are there to assassinate him is never really explained, but he ends up killing himself first anyway. I found out later that they were Nazis, which opens a whole other bag of questions that I hope gets explained later on... Anyway, in the present day, a group of psychics gather at the hotel and are one by one slaughtered by the puppets, who are controlled by a colleague of theirs who discovered Toulon's secret for eternal life.

I'm sure that I've seen at least one of the Puppet Master films... or perhaps it was the Demonic Toys crossover film... Either way, you're going to have bear with me as I go through these films, because I've not seen them before, and I've heard that the timeline of the series is all kinds of jumbled up. So far, my impression of this first film is not really that great.

The main thing is that the movie is quite boring. I don't recall any of the Puppet Master films ever being described as overly gory or anything like that, but one would think that movies with puppets who are alive would be a bit more entertaining than this. It takes the movie almost a good thirty minutes to get to what is really the meat of the plot with all the psychics and stuff. I did actually like this part of the story - that all these people had similar, yet different, gifts that bonded them together. This is what makes them targets of their colleague, Neil Gallagher, so that he will be the only one who knows Toulon's secret magic. Apparently, he wants Toulon's puppets to kill them all because they will be able to read his mind - even though none of them have gotten any kind of inkling of his plan thus far. It's a shaky plot point at best, but let's just go with it because we have to.

At the very least, Puppet Master can boast that it is the film that introduces some very interesting and deadly little toys to audiences. The leader of the pack is Blade, the white-faced, black trench coat wearing puppet with a hook for one hand and a knife for the other. Barbie's worst nightmare is Leech Woman, a sweet little female doll who is able to vomit up huge leeches out of her mouth. Jester is the puppet that Toulon is working on at the beginning of the film, although he apparently doesn't get his actual jester hat until later. Pinhead (not that one) is an interesting little dude with a tiny head and huge, human-sized hands, and Tunneler has a large cone-shaped drill coming out the top of his head. There are a couple others that are not featured as much, so maybe we'll get to see them in future installments.

The film rightly has a dose of comedy in it, but it is careful about not going too far. There are a lot of exaggerated or comedic sound effects having to do with the puppets and the sounds they make. None of them actually talk, but they do make funny little grunting and squeaking noises - plus there was that part where the little "plop" sound effect was used when Pinhead's head was removed. The deaths that the puppets inflict are equally gross and funny, too, so that keeps up the comedic undertone. But that's sadly the only thing interesting about any of the death scenes, because they are pretty tame, and most of them are not even shown.

As for the human characters who are the victims of these boring deaths... well, they suck. They're all either really annoying or really uninteresting, and the acting isn't that much better either. And since no one would watch a Puppet Master movie for the riveting character drama anyway, we can just leave it at that.

It's not a particularly stellar start to the Puppet Master series, but I do still have hope that these pint-sized freaks will eventually bring me something truly entertaining in future installments. One down, nine to go... let's do this!

Movie Review: Dolls (1987)

I thought for the longest time that I had actually seen Dolls. Mm, not so much. The movie I was perhaps thinking of was Dolly Dearest. Kind of a totally different movie! Realizing my silly mistake, I immediately set out to watch the wonderful film, Dolls, courtesy of Stuart Gordon from 1987.

The chewy, plotty center: Car trouble and a bad storm forces a family to seek shelter at the spooky house of a seemingly kind old couple. Soon after, a motorist and two punk rock girl hitchhikers he picked up arrive at the house as well, and they all start to find out that this doll maker and his wife - and their plethora of dolls throughout the house - are not at all what they seem to be.

"Afraid of the dark?" 

"No, afraid of what's in the dark."

Ah, what a wise young child this little Judy is. And what a delightful little movie Dolls is! I completely loved it. I was wary at first, yes, because dolls are fucking creepy, but then pleasantly surprised at the overall humorous mood. The film seems to realize that its premise is silly and would have been hard to take seriously if dealt with incorrectly; therefore, it just decided what the heck, and went the comedy route. It sounds a little strange, but comedy films always take themselves and the situations they present more seriously than most dramatic films. 

The acting by all involved helped the film immensely, with huge props going to the actors playing the little girl Judy and the kid-at-heart Ralph - easily the most likable and funny character in the bunch. The kindly witches Gabriel and Hilary are pretty much THE BEST and are so incredibly funny, and yes, they're likable as well, despite their actions. The evil stepmother (who for some reason always wears some kind of a head wrap) is played delightfully distasteful, but her performance is perhaps a little outshone by the biggest douchebag of a father I've ever seen. This guy is great - well, not his character obviously - but the actor playing him is pretty great at this role.

I was sure that the witchcraft they were using was only to animate the dolls and make them their little killer minions or something, so I really liked the turn the movie takes in saying that all the dolls are actually immoral or otherwise "bad" people that they've turned into dolls. And we get a great seen showing just this when Judy's father is turned into a new version of her beloved Punch doll. He grows a hunch on his back and his chin and nose elongate as his whole body shrinks down to doll size. The effects here are quite well done and frankly look very painful!

The few death scenes, while not being hardly at all bloody, are still fun. The first punk girl's death, Isabel, does not show the dolls as they grab her arms and legs and repeatedly ram her head at a wall and then drag her down the hallway. Until the dolls make their official appearance, you only hear their creepy little giggles, which if you are scared of killer dolls (*raises hand*) makes for a very unsettling atmosphere. They can drag a body? These bitches are strong, and determined. Not too comforting.

The stop-motion animation of the dolls only added to the hilarity. I know that that was the extent of the technology at the time and you cannot condemn the film on this point. Much like the outfits that come straight from a Madonna music video, this indication that the film was indeed shot in the wonderful decade of the 80s to me only gives the film more charm. If you're laughing at the bad animation, but still thinking "Darn, those dollies are MEAN!" then I'd say that these scenes were successful. 

I was put off a bit by the ending, with Gabriel and Hilary trying to convince Ralph and Judy that all their killer dolls was just a dream. I'm glad that Ralph and Judy were let go, of course, but that ending is a little anticlimactic and unsatisfying. All in all, though, Dolls is an immensely enjoyable piece of 80s goodness and a great entry to the killer doll canon of films.