Movie Review: Hooked Up (2013)

 

You might have heard me say a time or two (or twenty) that I really like the found footage genre. The style alone sucks you in from the beginning, and makes sure that you stay until the end. And now it has finally happened - somebody has taken this beloved genre of mine to the next level by filming a movie entirely with an iPhone. Hooked Up is the result of that experiment. I applaud the effort, but definitely not the overall execution.

Two American friends take a trip to Barcelona after one has been dumped by his girlfriend. They cruise the local nightlife, looking for women to hook with for the night. They think they've hit the jackpot when a beautiful woman offers to take them to her house for some fun. But after things get a little weird, the guys find out that they are trapped in the house and might not make it out alive.

The big name behind the movie is Jaume Collet-Serra, director of Orphan, the House of Wax remake, and two Liam Neeson action flicks - Non-Stop and Unknown. Unfortunately, he's only an executive producer here, and newbie Pablo Larcuen takes the lead behind the camera - or, uh, phone. The overall film is really not much different than pretty much every other found footage movie out there. The look is the same and despite the use of a phone instead of a camera, it is actually quite competently shot. Though there isn't anything really new to be experienced here, they hit all the right beats that a found footage movie should, and I actually like the general story they came up with for the antagonist.

The likability of the two main characters, Tonio and Peter, is quite a hindrance early on in the film. In the first couple of minutes, viewers must suffer through staring at a toilet bowl full of puke while the two dudes talk through the bullshit that will get our plot going. Then the rest of the time they (or at least the dork with the mustache) are your average douchebags that only think about their penises, and just in general act very infantile. And why exactly did they have to travel all the way to Barcelona to hook up with random ladies in the first place? They were from New York - couldn't they have just hit up one of the many random clubs there?

The biggest problem with Hooked Up is that the movie actually gets worse as the plot gets more exciting. While the film actually started out as a mildly interesting and serious approach to the subgenre, the acting, the dialogue, and the storytelling goes majorly downhill once the boys find themselves in real trouble. The natural way of acting that really helps in found footage movies is something that the two actors never really get exactly right anyway, but it definitely doesn't get any better when they have to act scared and fighting for their lives. At times their line deliveries are so exaggerated that it almost feels like they are doing parody of or making fun of found footage.

In the same regard, the dialogue and the story also take a bad detour in the second and third acts. Maybe the dialogue problem was more about the aforementioned delivery, but when the audience - or just me, really - laughs during what is supposed to be a stressful scene, then there is something wrong. Likewise, the story between Tonio and Peter having to do with Peter breaking up with this chick named Lisa just gets so old and uninteresting... like, from the very beginning. But they keep harping on it through the whole movie until we get the full story (that we didn't really care about) which of course causes even more friction between the two friends, despite the fact that they are already fighting for their lives. Where I got lost was how all this was affecting one of the characters - did the forces inside the house make him go crazy or did he go crazy all on his own? It's never really explained.

I'll give Hooked Up an A for effort because of the fact that it was filmed with an iPhone and doesn't really look it. Still, the overall film is not that impressive and does not stand up well to other found footage movies out there.

Movie Review: As Above, So Below (2014)

 

I don't know, you guys... I kinda liked this one, at least for the moment. Fan opinions are definitely divided in a "love it" or "hate it" way when it comes to As Above, So Below - I've seen the film on both people's best of 2014 and worst of 2014 lists. Like with many horror films nowadays, I avoided reading or watching anything about the film before seeing it, which was immensely helpful in my enjoyment of it - but I'm starting to think that maybe that enjoyment was only for the film's first viewing.

Young scholar Scarlett is on the hunt for the mystical philosopher's stone, which she believes is hidden in a secret chamber in the catacombs of Paris. Along with cameraman Benji, and friend and translator George, Scarlett employs a group of locals familiar with the catacombs to guide their way. Both the mystery and the danger of the place increases as they are forced to travel deeper and deeper into the catacombs in order to find a way out.

Of course the easiest thing to compare As Above, So Below to is that of a game of Tomb Raider, with Scarlett serving as our Lara Croft. The film plays out much like if you were playing a part of that game, and is full of history lessons, and solving riddles to open doors and find a way out of a certain chamber. With me as a viewer, this really wasn't much of a problem because I love all that stuff. The problem is that this can only really work once, and the movie pretty much has no replay value. So did I like it just because the reveal of what was going on was cool, or is it actually a good movie? That's really up to you. Another problem comes when looking at how the filming was handled.

With found footage movies, there is always the question of whether or not a particular film even needed to be done in the FF style. I'll say it again: I love these movies and don't have a problem with them on principle and love when they are done well. As Above, So Below is done well, but the reason for the style is not a strong one, and therefore not needed at all. It ends up almost ruining the film's atmosphere. It all would have worked so much better had the film been made in the traditional narrative way. In a setting that should be able to build tension and be scary enough on its own, the filmmakers instead choose to quickly move through it all so that there is hardly a shred of suspense left. Of course the characters need to get out of the catacombs but it's not like there was a clock running or anything. The film could have benefitted so much more by just slowing things down a bit and spending some more time allowing the audience to really feel where the characters were.

As for the characters themselves, they're just fine. There is not anybody you'll totally hate and not anybody you'll be totally in love with, either. Perdita Weeks as Scarlett is cute, with a charming accent and a demeanor that, despite her constant outpouring of knowledge, does not come off as pompous. George is the voice of reason that goes unheard throughout the movie, and Benji is the only slightly annoying one, but only because he understandably freaks out a lot. Catacomb tour guide Papillon and his crew are equally likable, but hardly anything is known about them. The movie tries to rectify the lack of real character depth by adding a personal, psychological element to the story that works for some scenes, but doesn't necessarily work overall.

The movie does have a small number of jump scares, but we all know by now that those are not enough to satisfy even the casual viewer. They're there one minute and quickly forgotten about in the next, and hardly even that effective. There is definitely one good and memorable bit - the part with Papillon and the burning car. Much like the movie's plot turns, I did not see that one coming. There's also the ever-popular shots of creepy people in the catacombs and the "hey, did you just see that person go through the background?" shots. However, nothing ever really comes from the possible scares or foes that the movie sets up. The weird girl at the club? She's just a weird girl chanting with other people in the catacombs. Why? We never find out. The cloaked figure? No idea. Death? Maybe. All of this also adds to the fact that the movie leaves lot more questions unanswered than it thinks it does.

I still stand by my initial liking of the film because it is a great movie to just watch one time to see the puzzle get ever more puzzling, and take you to places you never thought you would go when the movie starts. The plot itself is the best part of As Above, So Below, it's the overall execution of it that doesn't do it any justice. The found footage style was a poor choice that sadly lessened the film's potential intensity.

Movie Review: The Sacrament (2013)

 

Some of my favorite filmmaking people come together again for 2013's The Sacrament, a movie vehemently recommended to me by the lovely Sharni Vinson herself. I have a cool life sometimes. Anyway. I had to wait much longer than I wanted to in order to see The Sacrament but I was happy to see that it mostly lived up to my expectations.

Two documentary filmmakers, Sam and Jake, follow their friend Patrick to an undisclosed foreign country to potentially rescue his sister because Patrick fears that she has fallen in with a radical Christian cult. The men arrive at the heavily guarded Eden Parish, where everyone is as happy as can be under the leadership of a man known as "Father." But when Sam and Jake get the real story of Eden Parish from some residents, they realize they might not make it out of there alive.

What surprised me the most about The Sacrament was how simple the story was. This unfortunately was also what disappointed me most about the movie. If you've ever watched any documentary about cults, or most specifically if you know the story of the Jonestown massacre, then this is the most predictable movie ever. So I guess I was disappointed that the movie was basically just a simplistic retelling of Jonestown with nothing really new added to the story. Writer and director Ti West was obviously going for the more realistic approach to the story and I would say he excelled at that.

The Sacrament is a beautiful film, and another found footage output that takes advantage of the fact that the people behind the cameras are supposed to be professionals and not amateurs. It almost looks way better than it should. Scenes are full of bright light and muted earth tone colors, which is all wonderfully juxtaposed by the constant foreboding tone of the film's score. It seems to be there to keep reminding you that you should be scared, and that all this is a lie. There are times when the found footage aspect is called into question, though - especially in the scene where Father talks to the group before the "last sacrament." It is supposed to be just Caroline who has a video camera, yet the scene is shot from several different angles all at once. One little thing that I liked that they did with the look of the film was have the opening credits appear on screen as lower-thirds, the kind of thing that you see in documentaries and on the news as a way to identify the people speaking on screen with their name and title. It makes the film look and feel like a real documentary.

My new favorite AJ Bowen comes back to me as nice guy Sam, the guy who can't help but try to do something when he finds out the sinister happenings at Eden Parish. My goodness, he's adorable and I want him. His co-star from A Horrible Way to Die, Amy Seimetz, is with him again here as Caroline. She is perfect as the jolly, yet creepy, everything-is-wonderful-here cult girl who spouts nothing but positives about Eden Parish - and you don't believe a single word of it. In an eerie reminder of the leader of the Peoples Temple of Jonestown, actor Gene Jones portrays Father. He does very much resemble a father figure (in fact, he looks a lot like my deceased grandfather) whom you believe could possess the charm and charisma to have power over all these people. Joe Swanberg and Kentucker Audley as Jake and Patrick respectively have their moments here and there but are mostly left in the background, or behind the camera.

Despite the predictability of the cyanide poisoning sequence, West still makes it a horrible thing to watch. Something I loved that he did here was not only showing people seizing and vomiting violently, but also showing the little things that are just as horrific when you look at the circumstance. The mixing of the cyanide in a large punch bowl and watching children absently drinking it up like it was their morning milk, with their parents encouraging them. The fear and uncertainty on the faces of some of the congregation as they stare at their Styrofoam cups. And worst of all, the woman who approaches the obvious baby bundle in the arms of its mother with a syringe full of the laced punch.

After this, there are a couple more shock moments that haunted me for the rest of the evening, and the film concludes. Though The Sacrament was predictable and maybe less than I hoped for story-wise, I was still very satisfied with what I got. The film is a tight, tense thriller made by a filmmaker who more than knows what he's doing, and the acting is perfect by all involved. Thumbs up.

Movie Review: The Blair Witch Project (1999)

 

This of course was not my first time watching The Blair Witch Project. It was, however, the first time I had watched the film in about 15 years, since it first came out. Despite its huge popularity, I saw the movie back when it was released, hated it, and have pretty much avoided it ever since. Texas Frightmare Weekend got me thinking about it again some months ago because the actors were reuniting as guests, so I decided that it deserved a second chance.

A plot synopsis is probably not necessary but that's what I always do in the second paragraph of my reviews so here we go: Three young filmmakers head into the woods of Burkittsville, Maryland to make a documentary about the Blair Witch, a local urban legend. Never seen again, the only clues as to what happened to them is in the video footage they shot, which was found one year after their disappearance.

Since I felt like I was basically watching the movie for the first time, having hardly remembered it from so long ago, I was actually hoping that my feelings about it would change. Not the case. Mostly, I still found the movie to be very boring and disappointing. It is not a movie about the Blair Witch at all but rather a movie about three people lost in the woods. The only tension you feel is the relationship between the characters and there is not a single scary moment in the whole movie having to do with what we are supposed to be scared of.

And actually, that is still my biggest problem with the movie - I honestly don't know what I'm supposed to be scared of. All of the interviews at the beginning about the Blair Witch, the man who murdered children, and the incident at Coffin Rock - none of these things are ever connected to be the work of one thing. The piles of rocks that appear outside of the kids' camp? The stick formations in the trees? I have no idea what that is supposed to mean, and again, no idea how it connects to the supposed Blair Witch, so how can I be scared of it? Why should I be scared of the sound of branches breaking in the woods? There are animals in the woods, if I'm not mistaken, and they can make noises - like branches breaking. Okay, teeth... yes, the teeth thing worried me a bit, but it almost comes too little too late. And I don't know if this was my bad hearing or what, but if it weren't for the closed captioning on my TV, I wouldn't have heard some of those supposedly scary noises the kids were hearing outside the tent - even with the volume turned all the way up.

One opinion that did change was the one I had about the characters. They are more likable this time around and what is really impressive is their acting when the situation gets worse and worse. Heather's articulate voice makes her a good leader, and it's less annoying because she doesn't do as many slip-ups as one would probably do in real life. Mike and Josh are not douchebags in the least, and are so sympathetic and wonderful, even when they are being mean to Heather. Their acting shows true frustration and desperation, completely believable and real, and I applaud that. It's hard to get right.

My only, tiny character problem is this: I have a bit of experience interviewing people on camera, so I can't not say anything about what a HORRIBLE interviewer Heather is. The people she is talking to are trying to tell their story and all you hear in the background is Heather going, "Uh-huh", "Right..." "Really?", and she continuously interrupts them in the middle of sentences. Shut. Up. Maybe it's a good thing they disappeared because the audio on their documentary would have sounded like shit.

I also have a bit of experience with found footage movies now, so the shaky cam didn't even faze me, and in fact, it's not really that bad to begin with. It's bad enough to look like it was shot by an amateur (and actually, I think it was) but there is some good framing here and there. For some reason I really like the shot of Heather running away from the tent. I think it's spooky looking the way the woods are so dark and she's so starkly white - very cool. Can't really say the same for the parts when Heather zooms in on a bag of marshmallows or Mike's hairy chest, but what are you gonna do.

I know that "less is more" in a horror film, but The Blair Witch Project relies too heavily on the "less" for my taste. It was unclear who or what the villain was. I understand that it is probably this very idea of the unknown that has other people scared by the Blair Witch, but it was too much of the uknown for me. Had I been given a more detailed picture of the Blair Witch and what she represented and/or was capable of, maybe the film would have had more of an effect on me. I do, however, appreciate The Blair Witch Project a lot more now for the phenomena it started and all the amazing movies that came out of it. Kudos for sure.

Movie Review: Lucky Bastard (2013)

 

I was sent the link for this 2013 indie found footage movie Lucky Bastard, and though it is not really in the vein of "horror," this is one of those movies that I can't let go without saying something about it. Don't let the movie's premise fool you into any preconceived notions - Lucky Bastard is well-made and smart, and done in a very respectful way.

Porn producer Mike talks his star actress Ashley Saint into participating in the "Lucky Bastard" series on his website, where a normal guy is chosen to have sex on camera with a porn star. Ashley hesitatingly agrees, and the lucky bastard is decided - seemingly shy, nice guy Dave. But when the show doesn't go exactly as planned, it seems they might have picked the wrong man.

The film almost sets itself up for disaster by having it be about the adult entertainment industry. It received an NC-17 rating from the MPAA, with not really any chance to cut it down to an R without losing huge gaps in the movie. However, I was pleasantly surprised at and impressed with the filmmakers for the classy way they handled the material. Make no mistake: there is vulgar talk of sex; there is full frontal female and male nudity; and there are several graphic simulated sex scenes. Yet I never once got a feeling of sleaze or cheese from the movie.

The biggest reason for this part of the movie's success is the acting and the characters. Betsy Rue (from My Bloody Valentine and Halloween II) plays Ashley Saint. I liked that Ashley wasn't selfish or materialistic - porn is just her job, a way to take care of herself and her children. My only complaint is that when things get a bit more intense in the third act, Rue doesn't match her emotions with what is happening and she is too blasé. Also, I don't know how you can have the morals not to do anal porn, but be perfectly okay with doing rape porn! The character of Mike should be your typical sleazy porn magnate, but in the hands of these writers, and actor Don McManus, Mike actually becomes the most likable guy in the film. Despite a few moments of greedy exploitation, McManus portrays Mike as a solidly good guy who is caring, respectful, and protective of the people with whom he works. The lucky bastard Dave is played by Jay Paulson, whose look fits the character to a T. Paulson's mannerisms as a stereotypical shy geek work perfectly here, and the escalation of his nerves is natural and believable. The only real oddball character is Kacey, aspiring porn actress and Mike's current girlfriend. It's hard to get a handle on who she really is when nothing is known about her motivations or background, so while she's a good character played by a good actress, she's still a mystery to me.

The found footage aspect not only makes total sense for this situation, but it is also one of the best filmed of this type of movie that I've seen. The images are crisp and clear, and with characters that are supposed to be professional cameramen running things, the filmmakers are able to use nicely framed shots for every scene without losing the believability. The last part of the film takes place in a house once used for a reality show, so there are already cameras all over the place to catch the action that the fictional camera crew can't. Because of the use of found footage, there is no music in the film.  Also interesting about the film's style is that there are no night scenes. Everything takes place in big, bright, sunny L.A. - a very stark contrast to the actions taking place on screen. It definitely puts you into a false sense of security that nothing all that terrible is going to happen.

And really, it doesn't. The sex scenes are about as graphic as the film gets, and even those weren't bad at all by my standards. When things get bloody, it is not stylized or flashy, but rather really stays with Lucky Bastard's overall realistic feel and tone. There are some places that I didn't think the movie needed to go to, but that might just be me. They also bring in a couple of unnecessary characters that seem to maybe just be there for a body count - and you can guess that about them when they are first introduced.

The ending is a slight downer if you want something more exciting, but it is probably the most realistic ending they could have chosen. Lucky Bastard is a diamond in the rough considering what it gives itself to work with. Its subject matter might turn off some viewers, but give it the chance and I think you'll find a movie that is a pleasant surprise with its acting and technical skill.



You can view Lucky Bastard on Hulu here.
And it is available for purchase on Amazon here.

Movie Review: Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006)

I don't know why I don't listen to my fellow horror lovers more when it comes to movies like this. I've been seeing Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon mentioned for years but never thought it was one I should rush out to see. Dang it, I hate being proven wrong. Behind the Mask was pretty sweet, and the first movie I've seen in a long time that had me incredibly impressed with its writing, both for its cleverness and its ability to get me to really laugh out loud.

A news crew is following around budding serial killer Leslie Vernon as he carefully prepares for his night of killing off a group of nubile young kids until only that one "survivor girl" is left. Both fascinated and repulsed by his dedication and explanation of his methods, reporter Taylor Gentry follows Leslie to the very end of his story - an end that none of them saw coming.

Behind the Mask is in part shot in the found footage style but it's not really a found footage movie at all - it's mostly described as a mockumentary, which works for me. The use of the camcorder footage from the news crew is more like the method or reason for why the audience is getting a look at the behind-the-scenes of serial killer-making. And actually, that part of the plot helps remind you of the comedic purpose of the whole film, because it is absolutely ridiculous that a news crew would be following around a serial killer in the first place.

This method gives us a very creative approach to the typical killer legend, wherein we get to see the monster create every minute of his night of carnage. Leslie shows Taylor and crew how he prepares his physical self for picks his victim gang, how he chooses the one to be his survivor girl, and how he turns the girl onto his legendary story so she will be knowledgeable about him and help empower her. Then we get some hilarious stuff as Leslie sabotages the abandoned house where the bloodbath will take place - putting dead batteries in the flashlights, pre-cutting the woodshed tools and tree branches, rigging up a device that will allow him to cut the power, etc. He also walks Taylor through exactly how the events will take place that night - all those horror movie tropes of finding dead bodies and changing locations while still having the killer know exactly where you are and where you're going. Because he's planned it all out, geddit?

Nathan Baesel is perfect casting as Leslie Vernon. For much of the first of the movie, Baesel is incredibly charming and likable with a sweet smile and the ability to deliver his lines in a way that made me laugh almost every time he spoke. Some of the best parts are when Leslie gets all giddy and jumps around like a little boy as he gets excited about what he's going to do, or when he finds his "Ahab." At the same time, Baesel is also able to be effectively creepy and menacing when needed to remind you that he is, in fact, a serial killer.

Along the way in the story, we also meet Leslie's friend Eugene, someone in the same business as Leslie but who has since "retired." Eugene is played by Scott Wilson and just like Baesel, he is able to bring just the right amount of hilarity and menace to his character (menace which is also in turn hilarious) while being completely charming and lovable. Angela Goethals is Taylor, the protagonist who doesn't really do a good job of showing Leslie and everyone else just how uncomfortable she is with the whole situation, even though she eventually goes along with it every step of the way. Horror fans will also be happy to see appearances by Zelda Rubinstein as the librarian and Robert Englund as Doc Hallorann, Leslie's Ahab, a character modeled after Dr. Loomis from Halloween.

I see Behind the Mask as sort of the second step in some of these self-referential horror movies that we've seen over the years. The first step was Scream, wherein it was the victims who realized that they were in a horror movie and though they didn't really use their knowledge of horror tropes to survive, they at least acknowledged that the situation they were in was much like horror films past. Behind the Mask would be the second step because this time they took it one step further and had it be the killer who knew he was creating a horror movie, actually preparing the sets and props to his own advantage during the big killing spree. I'd say that The Cabin in the Woods is the third step, where a whole corporation and eventually the victims use and play by genre cliches.

Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (ha, it even has a documentary-like title) is a delightfully fun and creative look into how a horror movie legend is created. It's on the low budget side but doesn't show it that much - the casting and acting are what really sell the story and draw you in from the very beginning. Can't wait for the sequel or prequel!

Movie Review: The Bay (2012)

With my Sons of Anarchy obsession temporarily satiated, I guess it's time for me to get back to my real job here. I have a backlog of watched movies that need reviews, a host of books that need to be read and reviewed, and of course the ever-growing Netflix queue that needs to be worked through. Good thing I've got vacation time coming up. I also had an almost-catastrophe with my computer a couple of days ago, but everything seems to be fine now. So let's get this shit going!

First up in my series of possibly shorter-than-usual reviews is the 2012 found footage movie The Bay. Ah yes, more found footage. I should maybe be sick of this little subgenre by now, but... nope! Still love it. And The Bay is happily a nice addition to all the other awesome movies like it.

A news reporter who was present at an ecological disaster outbreak in Claridge, Maryland on the Chesapeake Bay narrates the chaos as it unfolded on that fateful day, using all the professional and personal video footage that was confiscated by the government to cover up what happened.

The Bay offers horror fans a few welcome differences from what we are used to seeing in FF movies. The reporter, Donna Thompson, is Skyping with someone who is interviewing her about the 4th of July from hell in Chesapeake Bay for a documentary about the truth of the events. Donna is sort of the main character, but her narration also shows us the experiences of several other residents. It's nice to have more than one or two of the same cameramen to follow through the whole movie, as The Bay includes security footage, video phone footage, personal camcorders, police dashcam footage, and Skype conversations.

All these new shifts in point of view keep the story interesting and engaging, and the suspense heightened. The way they are all cut together lets the audience slowly get the truth, as everybody involved seems to have a little piece of the puzzle as to what is going on. The two scientists that are doing research on the water and the fish a few weeks before the 4th and the doctor at the local hospital talking to the CDC having probably the most interesting stories. The stuff with the police was a little random and not really related to the main story, though. And I really liked the choice of casting for all involved. Kristin Connolly was the only recognizable face to me (The Cabin in the Woods, FTW) but everybody looked just like they were supposed to - normal people in this quaint little seaside town. I love it when movies are cast like that.

The other difference with The Bay is that it is an infection story. It's not an infection that leads to zombiism, either, it's a true infection by a mutated parasite caused by all the (literal) shit that's been building up in the bay. The terror and fear from an outbreak like this is just as real for both the characters and the audience as it would be for zombies or a masked killer. This kind of story also gets us into the realm of body horror, which personally freaks me and grosses me out. There's plenty of nasty stuff for all to enjoy like bodies covered in disgusting boils, and those gross little bug-parasite things coming out of people's necks. I love it and I hate it at the same time.

My only real complaint is that the makeup on the people who had the nasty boils did not look all that realistic to me. They were too obviously makeup and looked kind of dried out to me when I thought boils and blisters were more... I don't know, liquidy.

Do I care about the film's not-so-subliminal message about humans fucking up the environment and stuff? Not really, but it's definitely there. The whole disaster is caused by a chicken farm dumping chicken poop into the water, the local officials covering up/ignoring early warning signs of impending doom, and bad water tests at a desalination plant. Poop and toxicity apparently make these little parasites, or isopods, grow rapidly inside the body and then they just eat their way out. I guess it's a good way to send the message about how it might be a bad idea to drink water that people dumped chicken poop into.

The Bay gets a solid thumbs up from this found footage lover. It's an interesting turn for director Barry Levinson, and gives me another reason to really fear nature. As if I needed that.

Movie Review: Grave Encounters (2011)

Just call me The Girl Who Loves Ghosts. And found footage. I am a complete sucker for both and will watch a movie that merely mentions either one. But put the two of them together in a movie? Oh, hell, I don't have a chance. Thus we have Grave Encounters. I didn't know much about it before today except that it seems to be pretty popular with some audiences, pretty unpopular with other audiences, and it already has a sequel. And all I can say, should I be talking to anyone else who is as finicky about their ghost movies as I am, is that despite a well-known premise and a somewhat uninteresting beginning - stick with this movie. Hopefully, you won't be disappointed.

Lance Preston and his crew are filming a new episode of their reality ghost-hunting show called "Grave Encounters." They spend the night locked inside the abandoned and rumored haunted Collingwood Psychiatric Hospital, filming themselves as they explore the building and setting up other cameras around the hospital as well in order to capture some paranormal activity - and end up getting much more than they expected.

Like I said, this movie does not have a very promising beginning. As a found footage movie, they have to do something right off the bat that tells us that this is something that really happened and all this stuff you're going to see is stuff they found and edited together for us. Then they introduce the film crew with its foul-mouthed cameraman, fake medium, too-cool-for-you equipment guy, the token female, and the obnoxious host. He was the worst for me because I absolutely hate the real ghost-hunting shows, and the way this guy acted reminded me so much of the host of Ghost Adventures. What a tool. I couldn't have stood for that crap much longer.

But again, like I said, stick with the movie. Because just when I was ready to completely give up on it, they threw in the first twist which made me realize that this was going to be something different. After experiencing some mildly spooky phenomena, the team freaks out and decides to bash open the front door because the caretaker, who was supposed to let them out at six o'clock in the morning, is late. They get the front doors open only to reveal... another hallway. The building is apparently not only haunted, but also kinda possessed as it constantly changes and also doesn't seem to follow the rules of time (their clocks show 8:30 in the morning and it's still dark outside).

Though I can't at the moment put my finger on where I've seen this sort of thing before, I know it's been done in some way shape or form. Maybe I'm just thinking of Labyrinth. Anyway, I can't lie. I dug this plot twist mostly because it instantly saved the movie from what was becoming dangerously close to mediocrity. From then on, Grave Encounters continually surprised me with its fresh ideas pertaining to the creepy stuff - the food they brought spoils fast, the roof access stairwell that leads only to a solid wall, the patient wristbands that appear after the group wakes up, the hand coming through the door, the many hands and arms that come out of the ceiling and walls, and disappearing into a bathtub of blood. What can I say? I freaking love that shit and I'll love it 'til the day I die. And you have to admit that they actually did a pretty good job of taking one of the biggest horror cliche premises and turning it into something completely different and unexpected, and gave the audience something totally new to experience for the last half the movie.

The only problem is that I wish they had left the creepy stuff at the usual ghost manipulations. I wasn't too happy with the ghost-patients and their digitally-demonized faces. That's been done in other movies too and you know what? It wasn't scary then either... just kinda lame. I guess it's just my personal preference about what scares me the most - I never really need to actually see the ghost in full form or any kind of form; I only need to see what the ghost is able to do. The other bad thing about most of these found footage movies is that they are usually only good for the first run. Some are rewatchable simply because they kick ass, but ones like Grave Encounters, where half of the movie's effectiveness comes from the discovery of what's to come, don't do as well on subsequent viewings. I think I'd be skipping the entire first 45 minutes

Much like [REC], Grave Encounters ends with only a slight peek into what was really responsible for all the phenomena. I bought it. It's the easy explanation, but it works. And this episode of Grave Encounters comes to an end! I didn't have much faith once this movie began but it totally came through for itself by providing this lover of all things ghost with some really awesome ghost stuff to enjoy. If you also dig the found footage, I would recommend this one. It hasn't become my new favorite or anything, but it is sure better than some of the other found footage attempts out there.

Movie Review: Amber Alert (2012)

Most of me wants to say that Amber Alert is not a good movie. It has more than a few problems in terms of characterization and story, and confusion and unbelievability come into play many, many times. However, I really love the basic story that Amber Alert presents. It's a great idea (that is actually not all that current anymore but it still works) and is something that hasn't been done before. So let's dissect this little movie a bit and see what we're working with.

Samantha and Nate are life-long best friends, making an audition video for a reality TV show. When they spot the car listed on an Amber Alert sign on the highway, they decide to follow it, becoming ever more suspicious of the car's owner. Sam refuses to give up on following the car, and the more involved they get, the more dangerous it becomes for them.

I like the idea of the movie because it explores one of those "what if" questions that I've never really thought that much about. We all know about Amber Alerts and some of us have actually seen them. What if you did see a car on an Amber Alert sign? What if you knew that there was a child in danger inside that car? What would you do? It's an interesting question to ask and one that I was excited to see explored.

In the first few scenes where Nate and Sam are at different locations around their hometown and being all cutesy for their audition tape, you like them. It's easy to figure them out - she's the kinda-purty, kinda-nerdy chick, and he's the best friend who has been in love with her for years, with the feeling not being reciprocated. Obviously. So that's endearing, sort of. However, once they get in the car and spot the ominous gray Honda, you soon realize that these are two of the most annoying people in the world. They almost immediately start arguing about what to do about the situation and thus begins an agonizing half hour or so of listening to two people shouting and yelling over and on top of one another CONSTANTLY. Not a good time.

To be fair, this is actually pretty believable. Two people that have known each other all their lives have probably had a lot of fights and it's just the way they communicate sometimes, I get that. The dialogue isn't that bad either, and often sounds very natural as the characters fumble their lines and stutter and what not. It just really needed to be toned down in this movie to keep Sam and Nate from becoming the unnerving assholes that they become. The audience is supposed to be on their side and supporting them all the way, not wanting them to get into a head-on collision with the gray Honda just to shut them up.

It's also hard to be supportive of the characters when they - but really more specifically, Sam - keep making the stupidest decisions ever. At first it's cool as they just leisurely follow the guy while informing the police of his whereabouts. There's a great scene where the guy catches them following him and gets them to pull off the road. He comes to their car window and they actually talk to the guy for a little while, with him putting on the charm and telling a sob story about having a psycho ex-wife and how the little girl in his is his daughter. I thought that the filmmakers would make him be ths faceless monster for most of the movie and not really reveal him until the end, so this was a nice, tense little scene that I liked a lot. Sam does make one smart decision during their ordeal, which is to throw her wireless microphone into the backseat of the car. This allows the found footage technique to continue with some purpose, as they can listen to what the abductor says to the girl and realize that she really is in danger.

A couple other problems: the ridiculous lack of police presence and the mostly faceless and voiceless camera person, Sam's little brother Caleb. As to the latter, Caleb is seen briefly at the beginning of the film and has a few lines here and there throughout, but he is rarely involved in Sam and Nate's conversations and they hardly speak to him except to tell him to get down so the abductor doesn't see that he's holding a camera. When the group really gets in deep with this guy, going so far as to actually going inside his house, it is ridiculous to think that Sam would actually put her little brother - who looks to be barely a teenager - in such a dangerous situation. She really seems to have no concern at all for him. As for the first problem I mentioned, the lack of police response, it's complete and utter bullshit. They speak to one cop in person the whole time and that is it. No more police anywhere. The most ridiculous part is when Sam is informed by the police that the Amber Alert has been called off. Um, what? We know by the end that this guy really did abduct this girl and she was definitely not his daughter, and the police had witnesses to a little girl in the car - so why the hell would the alert be called off? It wouldn't, that's right. Stupid.

All that being said, though, Amber Alert was still effective to me. I found myself really getting into the story, wondering which way it was going to turn and just how dark they would go. Sure, I threw my hands up a lot in annoyance and anger, and yelled at the screen plenty of times, but this movie did something to me. The film looks good and actually feels like a real movie and an amateur one at the same time (to keep the found footage believable), and though the suspense doesn't really kick in until the last twenty minutes, I think it's mostly worth the wait. The ending is shocking and a bit heartbreaking as well, and they do a really good job of laying the heartbreak on thick with the last little scene of Nate and Sam.

I think fans of found footage should give Amber Alert a look because it has a few clever ways of making the technique work for its story. A little thing like logic doesn't play a very big role in the movie but the main idea of the story is a good one to explore. Don't let the annoying characters make you shut the movie off after 20 minutes - I still say to give Amber Alert a chance, even though most reviews tell me that a good majority of viewers will hate it.

Project Terrible: Atrocious (2010)

'Tis a small Project Terrible round this time, friends. Only me, Alec, and Robert jumped on board this time - which is actually good for me because that means I only have two movies to do this month, and I know I'm going to be all kinds of crazy and distracted once my trip to my first horror convention gets closer (18 days now!). So first up in this round is Alec's pick for me, a Spanish found footage movie with a most appropriate title - Atrocious. Seriously, they should've seen this coming.

Brother and sister pair Cristian and July (actually pronounced like "Julie") have a little hobby of investigating local urban legends for a web show. Or something. So they take their cameras along with them to their family's old abandoned house out somewhere for the Easter holiday because the area is said to be haunted by a little girl named Melinda who got lost in the woods.

So really, if you're going to call your movie "Atrocious," it might be a good idea to have the movie not actually be atrocious, if only just to avoid the inevitable ridicule. I mean, technically it's not really that bad of a movie, but it is pretty boring and repetitive, and it has one very lame twist ending that makes no sense and has no relation to the rest of the movie. It's the story that is the biggest problem in Atrocious - you know, the fact that it doesn't actually have one. Story is important in movies, people. It's kind of the reason behind the whole medium.

These two yahoos, Cristian and July, walk around with their (actually pretty awesome) cameras, filming stuff like their basement with all their old toys and getting an interview about Melinda the ghost girl from family friend Carlos. For urban legend investigators, they do a really sucky job and no real investigating at all. Eventually they go out to explore the labyrinth on their property. They film things like the gate that leads to the labryinth and the trees and keep staying that stuff is all "spooky" and "creepy" when it really is not at all. Get used to this very boring labyrinth, viewers, because you will be seeing a lot of it as the film goes on. And you will learn to hate it.

Still no story really. Finally, something sort of exciting happens when the family dog goes missing and Cristian and July of course take their cameras into the labyrinth, where they find him dead at the bottom of a well. Okay, I lied. That's not that exciting. Also, since both characters are carrying cameras, things can get awfully confusing when they switch from one to the other and the audience is disoriented for a second as they try to figure out where they are and who they are following. There are many, many minutes of one of them just walking around that damn labyrinth with absolutely nothing happening. I did actually pay very close attention to these parts, though, thinking that maybe the filmmakers would sneakily throw something "spooky" in the background or something. But they never did. Just more goshdarn trees.

Then somebody else goes missing. This time it's little brother Jose, and the mom goes running off into the labyrinth at night to find him, with Cristian and July following. With their cameras of course. Camera at night? You know what this means - night vision. I've never hated night vision so much in my life. After a while, it's just Cristian by himself and I had to suffer through a good five or six minutes of watching the labyrinth trees in green night vision as Cristian ran around, panting and crying, and nothing happened.

They finally leave the maze and go back to the house after Cristian finds July tied up to the gazebo, all bloodied. There are a few semi-good scare moments as it becomes obvious that there's somebody (or something) trying to kill them - especially when a charred corpse falls out of the fireplace, an axe comes crashing through the door, and Cristian finds only bloody smears where July was hiding. Soooo, it's not supernatural anymore? Nope, the whole Melinda story was apparently just a red herring and is completely dropped for an incredibly lame twist.

Do you care if I tell you what it is? Well, here it goes anyway: it was the mother. She used to be in the nuthouse because she suffered from postpartum psychosis or some shit and had actually killed one of her other babies. Which in turn begs several questions. How is it that nobody else in the family seemed to know about this, and why in the hell would anybody leave her three other children in her care after that? The video footage they show at the end of her being interviewed at the nuthouse clearly show that she is batshit. And they think she was just cured of that so easily? Argh, so stupid. The real problem is that there were almost no clues at all that this might be the ending to the movie. Yes, I did notice one time that she sort of had a little crazy look on her face, but that was it!

Atrocious proves that even though I loves me some found footage goodness, not everybody can get it right. This movie has no suspense, no story, no character development, and an ending that will piss you off. Had they not spent so much time in that fucking labyrinth and actually worked on the other stuff more, Atrocious might have been a cool movie. Or at least a tolerable one. As it is, though, Atrocious is a big 'ol failure. An atrocious failure.