Movie Review: Witchboard (1986)

 

So instead of possibly boring and disappointing myself with the recent film Ouija, I decided instead to check out this other Ouija board-inspired flick that I had faintly heard about a few times. Witchboard, written and directed by Kevin Tenney of Night of the Demons horror fame, is an interesting 80s output that doesn't feature a lot of action or gore, but is still a rather interesting and different approach to the chosen story.

When Linda's friend Brandon brings a Ouija board to a party and contacts a spirit named David, Linda becomes more and more interested with the board and starts talking to David herself. Her boyfriend Jim notices a change in her behavior, but is skeptical that the board has anything to do with it - or with the strange deaths that start to occur. Brandon tries to convince Jim that the spirit - whoever it actually is - is dangerous and is actually wants to possess Linda.

Witchboard hovers pretty heavily over the line between horror and horror/comedy, but never fully commits to either one. The movie is not at all scary or suspenseful, nor is it ever laugh-out-loud funny. But you know what? That's okay. Like I said, Tenney's approach to the story is different from what others might have done, which is part of what makes it such an interesting film. It doesn't seem typical of an 80s film - it takes itself more seriously, and is not at all sleazy, cheesy, or cheap (in the good way). Witchboard establishes an odd and difficult tone for itself, but it manages to make it work.

Even though there are supernatural forces at work here, the occurrences are relatively tame and not that exciting. It's usually just a couple of jump moments with things getting thrown around, although there is one pretty cool moment with Linda in the kitchen. A knife goes flying off a magnetic board on the refrigerator and lands blade down on a rug. Then a bottle of ketchup turns over and drips down right on the spot where the knife fell. A nice little creative, ominous moment there. There's also a quick shower scene where Linda is trapped under scalding hot water and has to break her way out. The séance scene is fairly creepy with the way that David speaks through the medium - and this is really the only creepy thing to look forward to (makes my ghost-loving self kinda sad).

Some outside characters are the ones who have to die in Witchboard. The first is a friend of Jim's who is killed by falling sheetrock on a construction site. Jim's missing hatchet becomes the culprit that causes the accident, which brings in this whole unnecessary sideplot with a detective who is convinced that Jim is a killer. Seriously, it's not that important. Another poor soul is first chased through their house by an unseen force and then tossed out a window where they land on a very sharp sundial. Again, points for creativity. The death of a main character was very surprising, and actually made me mad because I liked the guy. He gets a hatchet to the face and then falls in the water - but I'm still trying to figure out how the ghost got the hatchet in the first place and where it went... The climactic scene between the spirit and Jim also has the movie's big effects shots within close succession of each other. The quality is indicative of the time, if you get what I mean, but I didn't mind so much.

Now, Tawny Kitaen is not the first person that comes to mind when thinking about people who should be in horror movies. I'll be damned, though, if she wasn't pretty decent. Her portrayal of Linda is not anything Oscar-worthy, of course, but she establishes a character well and gives a convincing performance, which is all you could really hope for. The two guys playing Jim and Brandon - Todd Allen and Stephen Nichols - are cute in their 80s way (guys back then really knew how to wear jeans, lemme tell you) and their animosity towards each other is part of what makes the movie funny at times. Actress Kathleen Wilhoite (Susan's sister from "ER," thank you very much!) plays medium Zarabeth and wears one of the craziest and literally the most noisy outfit I've ever seen. She keeps trying to provide some "psychic humor" but mostly ends up being more annoying than funny. Actually one of the last scenes is probably the funniest because they try to fake the audience out on what is happening.

Witchboard is odd and somewhat unpredictable, but it's a nice change of pace from a decade that had so many movies that were similar to each other.

Texas Frightmare Weekend 2014: Day Two

 

Saturday always seems to be the best day of this convention just because it's the longest and the craziest, with the most going on throughout the day with panels and movie screenings. I ran into my Tobin Bell line buddy Ryan again while we were waiting for the doors to open, and we talked about what our plans were for the day. I didn't even get a chance to see the other room the night before so I did a quick lap before getting in any more lines to scope things out. Ahhh! So much to see and do!

 

I stuck with my must-meet list as it stood and got in line to meet the badass T-1000, Robert Patrick! I have always loved this dude - his voice and face have always made him a stand-out in whatever role he's in. While I was close to meeting him in line, Scott Wilson came over to say hi to him and some lucky girl got to have both Scott and Robert in a picture with her. Jealous.

 

 

As a big fan of his and of Sons of Anarchy, I had to ask Robert if he was coming back for the last season of the show (he is!) and he started telling me about all the other TV stuff he's involved with. This guy is going to be all over the place - he mentioned True Blood (which I, um, have never watched... sorry, Robert), the From Dusk Till Dawn series and one other new one that I forget the name of. He sounded excited and was just such a cool guy to be around. I put my arm around his beefy manliness and got a great picture with him. Another great meeting!

 

 

 

As I'm walking around, I come to a dead stop at one of the vendor tables when I see that on the wall they have a freaking Battle Royale t-shirt. Gimme, gimme, gimme! Never seen a Battle Royale shirt before so this was a definite must have.

 

 

Then at another table I want this House on Haunted Hill (original) shirt that I see, but they don't have my size so I get this bitching Carrie one instead. 

 

In the corner of the same room is John Kassir, the talented and hilarious voice of the Cryptkeeper from Tales from the Crypt. Every once in a while, John would get on the microphone in the Cryptkeeper voice and laugh and say some of his cheesy puns - "Come on over here, we're DYING to meet you!" - which made me laugh every single time because I absolutely LOVE the Cryptkeeper.

 

 

BUT, just before I'm about to get in line to meet John, I randomly run into someone else I was looking forward to meeting. I have good online relationships with a couple of different horror authors because I've reviewed some of the books they've sent me, and one of those authors is Texas-based Brian Moreland. I loved his books Dead of Winter and Shadows in the Mist. I mentioned how I wished he had a table at the convention that year so that I could get an actual physical copy of one of his books (I've only read PDF versions thus far) and he actually runs out to his car to get me a copy of his most recent book, The Devil's Woods. Awesome! We talked more about the convention and his upcoming works. Very cool to finally meet him in person!

 

 

Also, we noticed that nearby where we were standing were these Nazi zombie life-sized statue things that look like they came straight out of one of his books, so we had to take pictures with them.

 

Cryptkeeper time! Stoked to meet John Kassir, and I tell him that practically the whole week before the convention I'd been watching Tales from the Crypt episodes to get pumped up for the event, and that makes him happy. Also mentioned how last year they had the Cryptkeeper doll at the FearNet table and how cool it was that he was there this year. He signs my picture "To Michele, My Ghoulfriend" (HAHAHAHAHA) and for his pictures with fans he has this cutout of the Cryptkeeper's head on a stick to hold up. While we're posing, John starts giggling like the Cryptkeeper in my ear and I can barely hold in my laughter to get a good picture! Seriously, love love love this guy!

 

 

 

I got lucky with my ticket purchase this year and was able to get a Premium Pass, which not only got me into all three days of the convention, but also got me the opportunity to use a line skip on two celebrities. I had to be a dick and use one of them for Scott Wilson, my beloved Hershel from The Walking Dead, and Eugene from Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon. Oh my goodness, what a doll. I told him that it was the saddest day on the show when he left and we talked about the possibility of the Behind the Mask sequel or prequel. We take our picture and I say thank you before trying to leave and let him get to the rest of the people in his line, but he won't let me leave without a hug! Ah, such a sweetheart.

 

 

 

 

Did I also mention how excited I was that he still had the beard and hair? He looks so good with it!

 

There were some pretty great costumes this year, including a group of Terminator and T-1000 guys to celebrate the reunion...

 

 

...and a very cool chick donning some sort of feminized version of Jigsaw's puppet.

 

 

Wow. Talk about bad angles.

 

Anyway, I had planned on meeting Linda Blair, which would have been awesome but I decided against it and just managed to get a sneaky pic before I was shooed away.

 

 

Last year there was this one booth with some amazing paintings, but I didn't get to meet the artist. Well, he was back this year with some equally great paintings covering all different kinds of horror movies, TV shows, and general horror icons. Look at this stuff! This guy is really talented, I almost felt bad for not buying any of his paintings. Couldn't bring them home, sorry!

 

 















 

I sadly only made it to two panels this year, and consequently they were back-to-back. First up was the Night of the Demons reunion panel with stars Linnea Quigley and Amelia Kinkade and director Kevin Tenney, with moderator Kristy Jett. Lots of great stories from all of these guys about the overall making of the movie, how the shot with the broken mirror was accomplished, what it was like for the actors to work with the prosthetics and makeup, and antics behind the scenes. Since I didn't meet any of these guys either, this was such a great panel to go to!

 

 

 

 

Right after this panel was one with just Scott Wilson (again moderated by Kristy Jett) where he of course talked about his career, In Cold Blood, Behind the Mask, and The Walking Dead. I just loved his attitude all weekend - he seemed to be having a really good time and genuinely enjoyed meeting and talking to his fans. I got to ask him the last question of the panel, which was about who on The Walking Dead would replace him as the sort of moral compass or conscience for the people left on the show. His response? Lil' Asskicker. So sad I'm not going to be able to see him on TWD every week now! Love this guy.

 

 

 

Soon after this panel I head toward Cenobyte Row, where they were having a Hellraiser reunion with Barbie Wilde, Nicholas Vince, and Doug Bradley. And who should already be in Doug's line but my friends from last year, Heather and Acacia! I saw Acacia for a little bit on Friday but it was so good to run into some friends after being on my own for most of the past two days. We hung out with each other while we all got the autographs we needed and caught up a little bit on the last year. Yea for convention friends, that's all I gotta say!

 

Did I mention that I met Doug Bradley, Mister Pinhead himself? Yes, I did! Hellraiser has always been a huge favorite of mine and there was no way I was passing this opportunity up. In hindsight, I guess I should have gotten autographs from all the Cenobytes but I was trying to hold onto my money at this point. No matter, I still got to tell Doug about my admiration of him and his voice in Hellraiser and I got a great picture of him signed!

 

 

I hadn't really planned on going to any of the movie screenings this year because I wasn't sure if time would allow, but Heather and Acacia talked me into meeting up with them later to catch the Spanish comedy flick, Witching and Bitching (Spanish title: "Las Brugas de Zugarramurdi," or "The Witches of Zugarramurdi").

 

 

Oh, how I loved this movie. Great comedy, great effects, great acting. The story moves fast and never lets up the momentum and it was completely unlike anything I was expecting. Witching and Bitching - keep this one on your radar, folks!

 

After the screening, I was done for the night. Twelve consecutive hours of awesome is too much even for me. But my goodness, there was still another day left! More stories and celeb meetings! Could it get any better???

 

 

 

Read my Day One recap here!