Movie Review: Witchboard (1986)

 

So instead of possibly boring and disappointing myself with the recent film Ouija, I decided instead to check out this other Ouija board-inspired flick that I had faintly heard about a few times. Witchboard, written and directed by Kevin Tenney of Night of the Demons horror fame, is an interesting 80s output that doesn't feature a lot of action or gore, but is still a rather interesting and different approach to the chosen story.

When Linda's friend Brandon brings a Ouija board to a party and contacts a spirit named David, Linda becomes more and more interested with the board and starts talking to David herself. Her boyfriend Jim notices a change in her behavior, but is skeptical that the board has anything to do with it - or with the strange deaths that start to occur. Brandon tries to convince Jim that the spirit - whoever it actually is - is dangerous and is actually wants to possess Linda.

Witchboard hovers pretty heavily over the line between horror and horror/comedy, but never fully commits to either one. The movie is not at all scary or suspenseful, nor is it ever laugh-out-loud funny. But you know what? That's okay. Like I said, Tenney's approach to the story is different from what others might have done, which is part of what makes it such an interesting film. It doesn't seem typical of an 80s film - it takes itself more seriously, and is not at all sleazy, cheesy, or cheap (in the good way). Witchboard establishes an odd and difficult tone for itself, but it manages to make it work.

Even though there are supernatural forces at work here, the occurrences are relatively tame and not that exciting. It's usually just a couple of jump moments with things getting thrown around, although there is one pretty cool moment with Linda in the kitchen. A knife goes flying off a magnetic board on the refrigerator and lands blade down on a rug. Then a bottle of ketchup turns over and drips down right on the spot where the knife fell. A nice little creative, ominous moment there. There's also a quick shower scene where Linda is trapped under scalding hot water and has to break her way out. The séance scene is fairly creepy with the way that David speaks through the medium - and this is really the only creepy thing to look forward to (makes my ghost-loving self kinda sad).

Some outside characters are the ones who have to die in Witchboard. The first is a friend of Jim's who is killed by falling sheetrock on a construction site. Jim's missing hatchet becomes the culprit that causes the accident, which brings in this whole unnecessary sideplot with a detective who is convinced that Jim is a killer. Seriously, it's not that important. Another poor soul is first chased through their house by an unseen force and then tossed out a window where they land on a very sharp sundial. Again, points for creativity. The death of a main character was very surprising, and actually made me mad because I liked the guy. He gets a hatchet to the face and then falls in the water - but I'm still trying to figure out how the ghost got the hatchet in the first place and where it went... The climactic scene between the spirit and Jim also has the movie's big effects shots within close succession of each other. The quality is indicative of the time, if you get what I mean, but I didn't mind so much.

Now, Tawny Kitaen is not the first person that comes to mind when thinking about people who should be in horror movies. I'll be damned, though, if she wasn't pretty decent. Her portrayal of Linda is not anything Oscar-worthy, of course, but she establishes a character well and gives a convincing performance, which is all you could really hope for. The two guys playing Jim and Brandon - Todd Allen and Stephen Nichols - are cute in their 80s way (guys back then really knew how to wear jeans, lemme tell you) and their animosity towards each other is part of what makes the movie funny at times. Actress Kathleen Wilhoite (Susan's sister from "ER," thank you very much!) plays medium Zarabeth and wears one of the craziest and literally the most noisy outfit I've ever seen. She keeps trying to provide some "psychic humor" but mostly ends up being more annoying than funny. Actually one of the last scenes is probably the funniest because they try to fake the audience out on what is happening.

Witchboard is odd and somewhat unpredictable, but it's a nice change of pace from a decade that had so many movies that were similar to each other.

Movie Review: Night of the Demons 2 (1994)

Because, well, it was the next DVD that Netflix sent me. I tell you, I have no rhyme or reason for the movies I review. So anyway, today's movie is obviously Night of the Demons 2, the direct-to-video sequel to the super awesome movie from 1988 (next Halloween costume, I'm thinking of being Angela, for real). The sequel has a few familiar faces and a few familiar gimmicks and overall I'd say it's a pretty good follow-up flick.

Our story centers around a group of so-called "troubled" teens at a Catholic boarding school. After being banned from the school-sponsored Halloween party, sultry and persuasive Shirley convinces her friends to have a private party at Hull House, where several kids were massacred six years ago. Also attending this year's party is Melissa, nicknamed "Mouse," who also happens to be the previous party-thrower Angela's little sister. Once Angela's spirit is reawakened in Hull House, that's when the fun really starts!

There's no seriousness to be had anywhere in this movie, and goodness me, I love them for that. The beginning gives us a great sneak peek at what kind of movie we're getting into, when two Bible-thumpers visit Hull House to spread the good word  and end up getting sliced and diced by Angela. I sense greatness ahead. There's nothing scary at all about Night of the Demons 2 and it is most obviously a horror-comedy with an emphasis on cool gags.

And some of the gags are pretty great, too. I think it's time to bring back my old "gore highlights" for this one (okay, I think I only did that, like, twice in reviews but whatevs, it could be my new permanent thing).

1) Jaw Rip: Not a full-on Mirrors-type jaw rip but just one that I liked because the effects were good. Angela visits Mouse in a dream and rips the flesh off her jaw with her bare hands. Good blood here.
2) Boob Hands (or Hand Boobs): One of the weirdest, but not totally unexpected, effects is when demon-possessed Shirley's boobs turn into hands and are somehow able to melt the flesh off of Rick's roaming hand. Don't ask me how Boob Hands can do that because I don't care. It was awesome.
3) Severed Head B-Ball: Annoying Kurt was unceremoniously decapitated in an earlier scene, and gets to come back for more fun when he is scene playing basketball with a severed head - his own severed head. Love it.
4) Gooey Demon Bodies: This is mostly for the scene when demon Father Bob and demon Shirley are dispatched of with squirtguns full of holy water. They show their bodies kind of all melted and gooey on the floor with different parts twitching around (reminded me a lot of the original Evil Dead, actually). Melting bodies make me want to vomit.
5) The Angela Snake: Angela says herself that a little holy water isn't going to save the group from her, so I knew that she had to come for one big final fight scene. And she does where she appears as... a giant snake. Okay, sure! It's Night of the Demons - I think you just have to go with whatever they throw at you and not think about it too much.

Quite possibly the best thing to look forward to with Night of the Demons 2 is Sister Gloria. At first she is portrayed as your typical strict nun with a yardstick (there's a funny little scene where she's practicing fencing with it), but then out of nowhere she turns into all kinds of awesome when she finds out that she gets to fight demons. She even has a hilarious "getting ready" montage where she puts on her habit and laces up her shoes. This woman is ready to kick ass for the Lord! And does she ever, with her holy water guns and swinging her crucifix around like a... whatever weapon you swing around your head. Sister Gloria has some great moments in the finale and makes the whole last third of movie all the more enjoyable.

The movie falters a bit when it comes to the plot. At the standard 40-minute mark, the group finally goes to Hull House and again, the standard plot points for any movie like this start to happen. The group splits up, they have sex, they act like the annoying teenagers that they are. And they don't do any partying, which is why I thought they were going to the house in the first place. Anyway. Before anything really good demon-wise happens, everybody gets freaked out and leaves. Wait, what? They're not supposed to leave! Hull House is where it's at, yo! They can't leave! But they do. They make it back to school, but one of them finally gets possessed and kidnaps Mouse and takes her back to Hull House, subsequently leading everyone else back to the house too. It is the most backwards way I've ever seen to get to the same place.

I've only ever seen the original Night of the Demons (and its remake) once before and now seeing the sequel so long after really makes me want to check it out again because I remember absolutely loving it. This sequel is a bit disjointed in the plot department but you won't find yourself caring too much once you get past it, and some of the more annoying characters (Z-Boy... that's all I have to say... fucking Z-Boy). Actually looking forward to Night of the Demons 3 if I can find it somewhere.