Franchise Review: Hellraiser [IX]: Revelations (2011)

 

Hey, I did it! I made it through the Hellraiser franchise, and for the most part, it was pretty awesome. There were definitely some surprises along the way in this journey and I found some cool movies. This final installment, Hellraiser: Revelations, was most certainly NOT one of them. Damn, what a sad and sucky way to end the series. Except for the remake, which is probably coming.

Steven and Nico are two douchebag teenagers who run away from their perfect white picket fence lives to go be assholes in Tijuana. Their families don't know what happened to them until Steven shows up again one night at his parents' house while Nico's parents are visiting. Some dumb stuff happens and the new Pinhead sucks. That's all the description you need.

I know I said I was going to try to be a lot more positive about things from now on... but Hellraiser: Revelations is making that so hard. Actually, I can give the film a little bit of props for one thing. Some elements of the plot do resemble that of the first film - Nico is sought after by the Cenobites, he comes back by way of blood, there's some murders, and there's some skin-stealing. The movie is intercut between scenes of what happened to the boys in the Mexico and the present day situation with the parents and Steven's sister, so it does make for a nice revelation at the end. However, everything else about the presentation of this movie is pretty abysmal.

The script is just not good. I was getting annoyed just in the first couple of minutes when the boys - filming their little endeavor to Mexico with a camcorder like all douchebags seem to do - mention bow-legged hookers and knob-gobbling in their conversation. Great. The inaction by the parents, four adults who are just completely powerless without a phone or a car, also becomes a problem later on. There's the weird sexual tension that the sister Emma brings (especially a VERY awkward kissing scene), there's the guy who stands there like a moron while his friend is being attacked, there's the same guy who survives way too long after being shot in the gut, there's the way that the only thing the women know how to do is scream... Gah, this poor movie doesn't have a chance in hell of anybody taking it seriously or liking it.

The thing that I was the most worried about before starting Revelations was the fact that Doug Bradley chose not come back, and from the pictures I saw, the new Pinhead just looked wrong. Really, that was the least of mine and this movie's problems, but it still didn't help things in the least. The new Pinhead, played by Stephan Smith Collins, really threw me off simply because of his look. He has a way different face and body shape than Bradley, making him look more like a linebacker or something. He does do a good job at matching his voice and cadence of speech, I'll give the actor that. But the lines he is given to perform often sound so completely overdone and pretentious that he becomes, again, annoying rather than menacing.

Hellraiser: Revelations is a blessedly short hour and ten minutes long. They pack a lot of shit into that tiny runtime, but that's all it ever ends up being. With such a quick script and turnaround time for the movie being released, they obviously didn't put the effort in that this series deserved. Shame.

See you later, Hellraiser! Time to tackle another franchise!

Franchise Review: Hellraiser [VIII]: Hellworld (2005)

 

It's been a very sad week over here at The Girl Who Loves Horror, and in the horror community in general. As you all know, we suffered the loss of one of horror's truly great directors, Wes Craven. He was always my favorite and I am incredibly sad that we won't get to see anymore work that he might have created. I have been honoring him this week in my own way, and still continue to do so, but for now, let's get back to the Hellraiser franchise with this eighth installment, Hellraiser: Hellworld.

In this film, Hellworld is a computer game about the Hellraiser world that a group of friends are addicted to playing. One of them got too deep into the game and committed suicide, for which the rest of them blame themselves. Two years later, they gather again to attend a Hellworld party at a remote mansion with other gamers. The party is put on by the Host, and as the friends explore what the house has to offer, it becomes apparent that Hellraiser might not just be a game after all.

You know, I actually had a partial, fairly positive review for this movie written out before I finished watching it. I had some thoughts that I didn't want to forget so I would pause it and jot some things down, kind of enjoying what the movie was doing and the approach it was taking. Then I got to the reveal at the end and that all went out the window. Once again, we have a Hellraiser movie that wasn't originally written to be a Hellraiser movie and was just adapted into the world, and not very well. The other times I felt that approach worked and they made for some good sequels, but here, I am not digging it.

So the plot goes meta here, where in the world of the movie, the Hellraiser films themselves don't actually exist but the legend or myth of Lemarchand and his box do. BUT THE MOVIE IS NOT REALLY ABOUT HELLRAISER. Or Pinhead, or anything really relating to the franchise at all. Spoiler pretty much right off the bat: the whole thing was a set-up by the dead friend Adam's father to get revenge on the other kids for losing his son. This is a huge disappointment because, like I said, I was actually accepting the whole self-aware aspect that Hellworld had going for it. At this point in the franchise's history, the audience knows what's going on, so here they give that knowledge to the characters and allow them to play around in the world, winking at the audience and saying, "Hey, we're doing something a little different here." But that difference ends up being kind of an insult to the franchise, taking advantage of its fantastical nature to give credence to this dumb story of an angry father and his use of some hallucinatory drug to mess with these kids. And really, that kind of makes me angry and makes me feel very, very cheated.

There were a few things that seemed very out of place and which should have tipped me off to the fact that we were being played with here. As one character, Chelsea, actually points out, nobody opened the box. There wasn't even a box at all (until the stupid ending), so how could all these hellish dream sequences be taking place? Another clue: the first murder isn't even committed by Pinhead or the other Cenobites, but by the Host, Lance Henriksen as Adam's father. The next death does actually involve Pinhead, but it's done by him actually taking a medical blade and decapitating a guy. Pinhead has most assuredly killed a bunch of people by now, but he's never actually physically done it himself, so this definitely made me question the movie a bit more. The filmmakers do plenty of things to trick you into thinking that this is still a Hellraiser movie because of all the odd events that happen and the lack of explanation for them. Something just always feels wrong, though.

You hope that this is just because they have some grand reveal in mind for the end, and while they do, it's not at all what you expect or want it to be. I'm just not buying it, and I don't think many other people did, either. Hellworld is sort of fun to begin with - even though it feels like the rock 'n' roll, music video-like installment in the franchise - and I have to say that the deaths were nice and well executed, although not as elaborate as what we have come to love from Hellraiser. But the ending really makes the whole thing fall apart and lose my respect. Watch it for Lance Henriksen being Lance Henriksen. Because you sure as hell won't get what you want in terms of Doug Bradley or Pinhead. Thumbs down, Hellworld, sorry.

Actually, you should also watch it to see a chick roundhouse kick Lance Henriksen in the face. I don't know where the fuck that came from, but it was hilarious.

Franchise Review: Hellraiser [VII]: Deader (2005)

 

This was the one random Hellraiser sequel that I remembered watching not too long ago because I was curious about Kari Wuhrer in it. I also remember actually enjoying the entry quite a lot, even watching it out of context with the rest of the films in the series. This has been both a good and a bad thing about Hellraiser, because many of the entries can stand on their own as pretty good horror films, but at the same time, there is not a lot of connective tissue between them all.

Deader is the story of immersive investigative journalist Amy Klein, who travels to Romania after her paper receives a disturbing videotape in the mail. She starts to look into the Deaders, a strange group of people lead by a man named Winter who has found a way to bring people back from the dead. In turn, this has earned him the ire of Pinhead and the Cenobites for entering into their realm, and Amy is caught in the middle as the one person with the power to stop both of them.

A great thing about the Hellraiser sequels so far is that they have not dropped down in quality. Here we are with entry number seven, and the film is stylistically and visually very well put together. With really only one hiccup involving CGI bugs, the effects work are spot on and fit in with what we have come to love from Hellraiser. The grittiness of the setting in Romania, and the decrepit buildings, dark dungeons, and oddly converted subway cars is also reminiscent of previous films, as is the dark tone of the film. Hellraiser has not yet entered the campy, meta territory and I think that really works best with the stories that have so far been told in each entry.

Amy Klein seems like a bit of a loner with a dark past who uses the shocking stories she works on to maybe punish herself, or see how deep she is really willing to take herself. Is she suicidal, in a way? Perhaps at the beginning, but I think she gets a nice character arc throughout the course of Deader. She's a sympathetic, likable character - a real tough girl with a relatable vulnerability. Black and white flashback scenes hint at her childhood abuse that still haunts her, and the symbolism of the knife in the chest (although I'm not for sure that she actually stabbed her father when she was a child - was that real or her redemption at the end?) is worked in nicely with the story.

Surprisingly, I once again didn't mind all that much that Pinhead and the other Cenobites are not featured characters. Pinhead and the whole Hellraiser world is a metaphor for the hell and suffering that humans are either put through or put themselves through. When Pinhead kills all the Deaders at the end of the film, he's basically scoffing at their stupidity, saying, "Oh, you thought this world was hell? Let me show you what you think you're after, and you'll see that you had it much better off before." It has become more about what Pinhead represents rather than Pinhead himself, and that's great. The fact that Doug Bradley came back each time, except for part nine, to play Pinhead keeps the character's mystique and power alive - when he shows up, you can still feel the fear he brings, even if it is only for a few key scenes.

The blood and gore is pretty minimal, but again, not a problem. When Amy is becoming a Deader, she has this huge knife wound in her chest, which is introduced in a great scene with Wuhrer in the bathroom discovering it. After that, she has to walk around Romania with a gaping and bleeding wound that she keeps trying to hide, which thankfully does not come off as comical when it really could have. Winter gets a nice death at the end much like Frank in the first film when he is skewered by a dozen hooks and then ripped apart, and the other Deaders get a hook and chain that plows through all of their bodies at the same time.

I honestly can't find too much that I really don't like about Deader. The story works, the acting is good, and aside from a couple of scene transitions that don't make sense but you just have to chalk them up to being in the freaky dream/reality world of Hellraiser, it's a nice entry. It works as a stand-alone and it works in the franchise, or at least what the franchise has become with Inferno and Hellseeker. I like it.

Franchise Review: Hellraiser [VI]: Hellseeker (2002)

 

Deadlines and changes have been happening lately, and sometimes they get in the way of other fun stuff I want to do and know I should do - like finishing watching that franchise I started whenever the fuck ago. Rest assured that I have not forgotten about my Hellraiser journey, fiends, so I'm back with it again - FINALLY - and the sixth installment in this kooky series, Hellraiser: Hellseeker.

 

I had to watch the movie again to write this review, and when I first watched it a few weeks ago, I wasn't really sure how I felt about it. This was weird, because for a good chunk of the movie, Hellseeker plays out a lot like the twin version of the previous installment, Inferno. I really loved that one, and Hellseeker has a very similar plot line. But I think it might be the ending that throws me off just the slightest bit.

Hellseeker sees the (real) return of Ashley Laurence as Kirsty, but the main focus is on her husband, Trevor. In the beginning of the film, Kirsty and Trevor get into a car accident that sends them over a bridge and into a river, with Trevor surviving and Kirsty being trapped in the car underwater. However, her body is missing from the accident site, and ever since the accident, Trevor has been experiencing terrible headaches and vivid hallucinations, all while being pursued by two detectives who think there is more to the story than Trevor is letting on.

Dean Winters (whom I absolutely love because of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit) carries the film well as he goes through the motions made familiar by Inferno of a guy hallucinating all kinds of strange stuff. Trevor is an unreliable narrator who spends the entire movie going from one fucked-up situation to the next without much string holding it all together. All of this does have a purpose later on, but you will most likely be spending the first two-thirds of the movie wondering what in the blazes is going on. And like Trevor himself says, when a scene starts, you don't know what's real and what's not until something happens to let you know one way or another, and even THEN, it's hard to tell what might be real because even the really weird stuff can be real in a Hellraiser film, you know?!

Actually, what I really want to talk about with this movie is how the ending works with the rest of it, so I'm going to have to spoil everything right now. In a way, the overall point of the movie is not Trevor at all - it is Kirsty, even though she is only dealt with as a peripheral character. But knowing that she is a huge part of the Hellraiser story hopefully makes one think that her role in this story has got to be more meaningful than just being Dean Winters' wife (although that's not really a bad role to have). Pinhead and the Cenobites were after Kirsty because they're still all hungry for her soul and stuff, and they got to her by going through Trevor. She makes a deal with them to give them five souls in exchange for hers. She uses this opportunity to take revenge on her cheating spouse, who also happened to be in cahoots with another girl to kill her and take her money. It's a fine story, and certainly explains all the weird shit that had been happening to Trevor in the movie - the accident scene at the beginning is retold to show that Kirsty shot Trevor, so he has been dead this whole time and the movie is him suffering through his personal hell. This is obviously why I compare it to Inferno so much, and what is also making it difficult for me to say which movie I liked better, if I ever had to. As third and fourth sequels to a horror franchise, Inferno and Hellseeker are pretty damn good, well done films.

What irks me a bit in regards to the characters of Kirsty and Pinhead is that Kirsty survives yet again by making a deal with Pinhead YET AGAIN. He's all like, "I'm totally gonna take your soul this time!" and she's like, "Um, how 'bout I give you this instead?" and he's all, "Okay." If you all pull this shit again in another movie, I'm going to go ape. I don't even really believe that it happened this time. This honestly should have been the end for Kirsty and she shouldn't have been able to get away with it. The fact that she did diminishes Pinhead in a way, and, even though he's a villain, he's a villain that we really like and to me, this makes him look weak. I don't want a weak Pinhead. I also don't like what this does to Kirsty as a character. She was fucking awesome in the first and second movie, and now she's gone a bit too dark and far away from her character by using her scorned wife status to kill five people - three girls that Trevor was cheating on her with, the co-worker that he was planning to kill her with, and Trevor himself. This isn't the Kirsty I love.

Other than that, Hellraiser: Hellseeker is a really solid sequel with a great story and some cool visuals, which I didn't even get into talking about here. I like the personal approach that these sequels are taking as opposed to something more high concept, because I don't think that would have been as interesting thematically. Bring on part 7, let's finish this!

Franchise Review: Hellraiser [V]: Inferno (2000)

 

Dudes, I really dig Craig Sheffer and I don't know why. Is it because he was in Nightbreed and that's awesome? Is it because he looks like David Boreanaz's long-lost brother? Whatever it is, I was really happy to see that he was in Hellraiser: Inferno, the fifth installment in the franchise. Inferno is a movie that seems to come way out of left field in the Hellraiser universe and still manages to work really, really well. It's definitely one of my favorite sequels so far, after the first one (the first sequel, that is, Hellraiser 2). Oh! Craig was also in a movie that I previously reviewed for Project Terrible - SyFy's Battledogs - and that was actually kinda awesome, so there's another reason to like him.

Detective Joseph Thorne (Sheffer) is a guy with a good heart, but bad habits. He avoids his family, cheats on his wife with prostitutes, and snorts coke. He comes upon the infamous puzzle box at a gruesome crime scene and when he unwittingly opens it like everyone else in this series does, he opens the door to a nightmarish world of crazy dream sequences and visits from otherworldly monsters, on top of several real-life murders for which he seems to be the prime suspect.

Like I said, Inferno is definitely the strangest of the Hellraiser movies so far, because it doesn't really feel like a part of the franchise's mythos directly. It has feelings of a movie like Seven, or just about any other movie about a grizzled city police detective who gets in too deep in the dark side of life and descends into madness. There are tie-ins to the universe of Hellraiser with the puzzle box, the Cenobites, and Pinhead, who sadly is only in the movie for a very short time close to the end. The tie-ins are loose but not exactly forced, because the movie is really only about Joseph, which is awesome and a great story. Pinhead, and Joseph's hellish experiences with the Cenobites, are used more as metaphors for the movie's underlying theme.

The filmmaking style from director Scott Derrickson, who also co-wrote the movie with Paul Harris Boardman, and who would go on to make kick-ass movies like The Exorcism of Emily Rose and Sinister, is greatly appreciated for a movie like Inferno, because he had the perfect idea for what this movie should look and feel like. There are no big set pieces or action sequences, no amazingly elaborate deaths that Hellraiser has come to be known for - and that's all okay. After a short time, I was able to stop wondering where Pinhead was and just focus on what they were showing me, and enjoying the message they were trying to deliver.

And what they were trying to say with this movie was actually very well thought and poignant. The child's fingers that are found at each crime scene, the strange child's room that Joseph keeps visiting in his dreams, the child's voice calling out to him for help - the audience slowly finds out that that was all Joseph. The final set up where Joseph is confronted with Pinhead (who was disguising himself as a psychiatrist - kinda weird, but I'll go with it) reveals that this is all about him being in his own personal hell, where he is slowly cutting away at his soul, because of his life choices and the people he has hurt. I like that. I especially like how at the end, he actually doesn't get a second chance to change things. It harkens back to Joseph's conversation with his partner Tony earlier in the movie about palindromes - the movie ends the same way it begins, with Joseph still in the hell of the life he has created for himself.

Of course, one could argue with me that all of this sucks because this is not what Pinhead and the Cenobites do in the Hellraiser world. Joseph opened the box, but instead of killing him, they just decide to mess with him? And okay, Pinhead only wants to torture people who want it, but I would say that subconsciously or more likely consciously, Joseph felt that he did need to be punished for what he has done in life and he hates the person he has become. And that is what Pinhead uses to bring him to hell - his own personal hell. Because of this, it's not hard to say that Inferno is a really good movie, and not just a good movie "for a Hellraiser sequel."

I guess I could go on longer and talk about the acting, the effects (which are also really good), the filming style (which completely sells the movie), and those freaky sexy Wire Twin Cenobites and the Half-Chatterer, but the story is really the highlight of Hellraiser: Inferno and is what makes the movie successful to me and one of my favorites of the franchise so far. This is stepping up the game for the rest you Hellraiser sequels, so you better follow through!

Franchise Review: Hellraiser [IV]: Bloodline (1996)

 

Wow, really? We're already going to space with this franchise? It's only the fourth movie. You don't go to space until way later when you are just shit out of ideas and don't even care about being good anymore (unless you're Jason X and you end up being totally awesome). Hellraiser: Bloodline actually just goes all over the fucking place in space and time, literally, and I don't really have much of a clue about what I just watched.

We start off in the year 2127 on a space station, where a guy named Merchant (that name should be recognizable) is manipulating a Terminator-looking robot into solving the puzzle box but some SWAT guys crash the party just as Pinhead shows up. The SWAT guys interrogate Merchant, and we get a whole history lesson on the family that built the first puzzle box and how they might hold the power to keep Pinhead out of our world.

Bloodline is interesting to say the least. I'm not calling it horrible just yet because of what may come in later films, but there is definitely something wrong about this entry and how it fits into the franchise. Somewhat jumping the shark so early and taking the story into the future is definitely not the choice I would have made, even if a good portion of the film actually takes place in different time periods. It's not a total train wreck, though, which is very surprising - especially considering the huge reservations I was having during the opening credits when the director was listed as "Alan Smithee." There were actually two directors for Bloodline, and they both were so disappointed with the movie that neither one of them wanted their name on it. Ouch.

The main thing that I didn't like about the movie is that the main villain is not really Pinhead so much as this other chick named Angelique. And the even further problem with that is that we have no idea who Angelique is or what her background is. She appears during the portion of the film that takes place in 1796, when the box is first built by a toymaker named Phillipe LeMarchand. LeMarchand built it for a creepy, pancake makeup-wearing guy named de L'Isle who uses it to summon a demon through the body of this random chick his assistant, Jacques, killed and she becomes Angelique. But what kind of demon is she and where did she come from? Later on in time and in the movie there is a Cenobite version of her (I think), but was she a Cenobite to begin with? Is she from the same realm of Hell as Pinhead and that's how he knows her (because they act like frenemies for most of the movie)? When Pinhead finally does show up, it almost feels weird that he's there and that he doesn't fit in with the movie because he hasn't been the main villain so far.

I do have to give Bloodline props for some cool things that it does. There isn't an abundance of great kills or anything (and one of them is basically a repeat of what they did in the previous movie) but what is there is pretty good. First of all, Pinhead's pet demon dog - we'll call him Fido - was both hilariously bad and hilariously awesome. Fido is the first BDSM dog I've ever seen who is not really that terrifying because all he can do is click his teeth really fast. How adorable. Fido doesn't get a crazy amount of screen time, though, so don't go into Bloodline expecting to see a lot of him. The repeated death is when the twin security guards become the Siamese twin Cenobite, and the effect looks just like when Spencer and Pinhead merged together in Hellraiser 3. The only real standout kill for me was in the portion in 1996 when Merchant is very cleverly decapitated with one of Pinhead's chains that has a nifty attachment on the end of it. This was also surprising because the audience was probably expecting him to survive.

I'm not entirely sold on their explanation of what ends up defeating Pinhead. Light? Really? Just... light? Please tell me there was something more to this that I didn't care enough about to really pay attention, because I really hate to believe that Pinhead was dispatched with by LIGHT. And being blown up in space, sure, but mostly light. Kind of dumb, I'm sorry. Not sorry, though, to say that I kind of really liked the whole thing at the end where the space station turned into a giant puzzle box and explodes. It was a cool way to make the scope of the movie and the story that much bigger, and really, it was a fucking good idea.

I very much enjoyed the cast. Doug Bradley is of course back as Pinhead, but several other recognizable faces show up as well. Rimmer, one of the futuristic SWAT people on the space station is Mark Greene's wife from ER. Merchant's wife Bobbi is Kim Myers from Nightmare 2. Merchant's son Jack is child actor Courtland Mead. Jacques is a guy whom I randomly recognized as one of David's boyfriends from Six Feet Under. It's really a good cast all around and they each do a great job with their roles, never once either hamming it up or dumbing it down.

So what was my overall experience like with Hellraiser: Bloodline? I wasn't a big fan of the story, which was just way, way overreaching - going to space, jumping time periods, being really fucking confusing and not making any sense. I really can't give the movie any points for that. However, the execution is not too shabby when you really look at it. Like I said before, it's not a total train wreck, but it definitely could have been better.

Franchise Review: Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992)

 

Alright, this is interesting. I'm not sure if this is exactly where I saw the Hellraiser movies going right after the gold that was the first and second films, but I'm gonna go with it. Here we have a new location, a new protagonist, and basically a new Pinhead. Or a new Pinhead and the guy Pinhead used to be. It's kind of weird, but it's cool to see Doug Bradley out of makeup for a good chunk of the movie.

The statue that now holds the soul of the Lead Cenobite Pinhead - and the box that is used to summon him - is purchased by a sleazy club owner named JP. When news reporter Joey Summerskill witnesses the chains from the box killing a young man, she recruits JP's ex-girlfriend Terri to find out more about the Cenobites and stop Pinhead from unleashing "hell on earth."

As aforementioned, there is something a bit different going on with Pinhead in this story. The statue that appears out of the mattress at the end of Hellraiser 2 is the Pillar of Souls and has all these agonized faces on it that represent the souls trapped inside, one of them being Pinhead's. But it is only his demon side that is trapped here. Also trying to make contact with the real world, to stop his other self, is the soul of his human side, Elliot Spencer, who is in limbo. Spencer communicates with Joey through her dreams and helps her. He's actually quite charming, so I very much enjoyed these scenes.

Joey is actually a pretty cool heroine. I liked the smart aleck side of her that we see in her first scene, and throughout the movie, she remains inquisitive and brave, but never really all that stupid, even when she is tricked by Pinhead. She not only gets to call Pinhead an "ugly fuck" (hey hey now, girl) but also gets to be the only or one of the only people to actually call him Pinhead, I think. I'll find out when I refresh on the rest of the movies. Bradley has a lot more screen time in Hellraiser 3 and a lot more dialogue. He doesn't go full Freddy Krueger with cheeky puns and shit, but he gets damn close sometimes. His voice is also just a bit different sounding sometimes, and his look - especially just his head - is weirdly monochromatic, and I don't think I really dig the fleshy color as opposed to the white. At the same time, though, he's still Pinhead and he's still awesome.

 

As gory as the first two Hellraiser films were, there was a weird respectability and beauty to the way they were handled. Here, things start to get a little skewed in that regard, and there are more random deaths of random people just for the sake of upping the body count. Not that that's not awesome, though. I loved some of it. The first gag is at the hospital when Pinhead's chains somehow make a guy's head explode. The next gag is definitely my favorite - one of JP's one-night-stands gets too close to the statue and is hooked, then flayed alive and sucked into the statue. Later, there is a bigger sequence where Pinhead slaughters a bunch of the club-goers in various interesting ways. Also some very lame ways. I'm not sure how I feel about seeing Pinhead looking like a rock star in a club, but I guess that's just the vibe of this movie.

 

Also when speaking of effects, Hellraiser 3 sees the creation of some new Cenobites with really cool, if not a bit hokey, looks. Joey's nice cameraman doc has a camera imbedded in his skull; the disc jockey at JP's club The Boiler Room is impaled with all these CDs; and the bartender carries around a shaker cup full of gasoline and can breath fire. JP and Terri also become Cenobites At the end, Spencer and Pinhead become one person again, and there is an effects shot of their heads twisting and molding together. Not bad, not bad. The setting of New York City also sets up some new action sequences, like the part where Joey is running through the (strangely empty) streets and then meets up with the new Cenobites.

 

Gah, there's actually a lot more to talk about with this one than I initially thought. I like the story a lot because it builds well upon the events of Hellraiser 2, when there was that moment of sympathy for the Cenobites and the human beings that they once were. Bradley's portrayal of Spencer helped bring forth more of this sympathy, and was a nice contrast to the gleeful evil of Pinhead.

 

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that I'm a fan of Hellraiser 3. It's a sharp left turn from the tone and the goals of both its predecessors, but it's pretty good. I like the protagonist and the story was a good progression, despite the odd cast of characters that the movie surrounds itself with. Three down, six to go!

 

Sidenote: The Motorhead song "Hellraiser" plays during the closing credits, and that was actually my first time hearing it! Nice!

Franchise Review: Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988)

 

From what I remember, this might be the end of the good when it comes to the Hellraiser films. Gah, why can't I remember any of these save for the first two? I did randomly watch part 7 a while ago, and that was only because Kari Wuhrer is in it and she's also in Eight Legged Freaks and I love that movie so I was curious to watch her in a Hellraiser flick again. Anyway, Hellbound starts things off very well for the Hellraiser sequels.

The sequel picks up right after the ending of the first film - actually, it starts with a montage that sums up the entire first movie which is totally cool with me because of course that movie is awesome. After the events of Hellraiser, Kirsty is back in the psych ward, which is run by Dr. Channard. Unbeknownst to Kirsty, he has quite the obsession with the Cenobites and the Lemarchand Boxes. Channard uses Kirsty to bring her stepmother Julia back from hell, and he uses another mental patient, Tiffany, to open the box and bring forth the Cenobites and enter hell.

The sequel's story begins with a quick glimpse into Pinhead's past. It's around the 1930s, 1940s and there is a soldier in a room, solving the puzzle box. The chains and hooks appear (more less-than-stellar effects shots like before but I still love it), and then he's shown in hell supposedly, having his skull cut on and the nails being hammered home. This becomes important later on, so pay attention. Having read The Scarlet Gospels recently, which is the concluding chapter in Pinhead's story, I don't think this is the background that Clive Barker had in mind for his character. But we're talking about the movies here, so I guess I'm going to have to let that go.

Again, there is a great cast of characters - except for one guy who is unfortunately not given that much to do. Steve from the first film has been replaced by Dr. Channard's assistant, Kyle, and frankly, he is rather boring. His only real purpose in the film is to spy on Channard, help Kirsty out a bit, and then get killed because he's an idiot. Dr. Channard himself is quite the interesting villain. We first meet him while he is performing some kind of freak-ass brain surgery, which immediately makes the audience weary of him, and you can definitely tell that he has ulterior motives when he is seemingly trying to "help" Kirsty. He does the things that he must do to achieve his goals, yet he seems horrified by it. Then again, by the end when he becomes a Cenobite, he seems to embrace his evil side. So yeah, interesting guy. The only thing that still niggles at me a little bit is the fact that Julia never asks this guy who he is or why he brought her back. Technically, they were both using each other but that's not a strong enough connection for me.

Julia herself is actually much more likable to me here, despite her villainy. She's stronger and more manipulative, instead of the one being manipulated. And of course her revenge at the end is fantastic. Though the film takes place directly after the first one (and was released just one year after the first one), Kirsty also seems to have grown. She's still incredibly brave and formidable, but there's something about her that's just slightly different and more mature this time around. Also, she puts on Julia's skin suit. That's really gross and really rad at the same time. Imogen Boorman as Tiffany is incredibly sympathetic, innocent, and does a wonderful job with practically no lines of dialogue. Her obsession with puzzles was a nice, though obvious, plot and character choice for the film and works well.

Hellbound is definitely one of those movies that I would describe as gore-geous. In the scene where Julia is resurrected, there is buckets of blood and oodles of nastiness. It starts off with the delusional mental patient slicing the shit out of his flesh because he imagines that he is covered with worms, and his blood on the mattress where Julia died is what brings her back. She is skinless like Frank was, and spends the rest of the scene rolling around in blood, trying to get the nourishment from the mental patient. Non-horror fans would perhaps watch something like this and be grossed out, but I watch it in utter fascination every time. It's beautiful. The full-body effects work on Julia where you can see the bones, tendons and muscles is amazing, and the blood is so shiny! Its darkness and richness also plays in great contrast to the whites of her eyes. And I love, love, love Channard as a Cenobite. His look reminds me of one of the monsters from the video game Resident Evil 4 (the best video game ever, by the way) and he's so wicked and "punny." It's fantastic.

Ah, this has already gone on long enough, and I think I hit most of the high points, but this is one of those movies where I could really discuss every single scene. Hellbound is a really solid sequel to one of my favorite horror films. It plays up the strengths of the original, and then takes it just a step further, which is what I think any good sequel is supposed to do.

Franchise Review: Hellraiser (1987)

 

That's right, guys. IT HAS BEGUN. Welcome to the beginning of my journey through all nine of the Hellraiser movies! I do have vague memories of some of the sequels, but I haven't watched any of them in a long, long time, so a lot of this will be like a first-time viewing for me. The original film, however, is still one of my favorite horror films of all time. And I have never really talked about it much on here, so I'm excited to get the chance. AND Clive Barker's new book about Pinhead, The Scarlet Gospels, comes out in a few days so it's perfect timing. Shameless plug: Be sure to look for my review of The Scarlet Gospels on Wicked Horror.com!

As most of you already know, Hellraiser is based on Barker's short novel, The Hellbound Heart, and Barker both wrote and directed the film adaptation. I don't think it's wrong to assume that that is one of the reasons why the film is so good, and why it has stood the test of time. Anyway, you all hopefully know the plot of Hellraiser so we'll forgo that. Let's just say that there's a box, there's a skinless guy, there're Cenobites, there's a chick saying "GO TO HELL!" Basically, it's awesomeness personified.

Hellraiser is a unique film for me because it is one of two films that I absolutely love and have seen a million times, but that also completely grosses me out still. Cronenberg's The Fly is the other one. That whole sequence of Frank growing out of the floor is fucking disgusting, you guys, and his evolution after that really doesn't get any better. I guess it's because both of those films showed me that humans really are nothing more than meat and bones, really, and that kinda sucks. That's what horror films do well. In Hellraiser, there is beauty in the horror, and logic in the fantastical, and intrigue in the deceit.

I hardly know what to say about Hellraiser because there is so much to say. Let's just go with some of the reasons why I love the movie so much. One of those reasons is Clive Barker's story. I admittedly have not read much Barker (which I will remedy eventually - I bought a bunch of his books recently) honestly because I didn't ever think that I could follow his stories because they are so out there and fantastical. But I get Hellraiser. Pushing the limits of human endurance with pleasure and pain, getting more than what you asked for, relationships fueled by lust and desire, a daughter trying to save her father - Hellraiser could be a hundred different movies with these same themes. It just happens to be gory good horror story with rad characters, created by one of the most imaginative minds of our time.

Another reason I love Hellraiser is the gore and special effects, which go hand-in-hand with Barker's filming style. That sounds like three reasons rolled into one but I don't care. Some of the effects are fairly rudimentary - most notably, the closeup shots of the hooks impaling Frank's skin - but overall, the practicality of the effects makes them so much more effective and wonderful. The aforementioned sequence of Frank's body growing and rebuilding itself out of the floor is my favorite/least favorite part (it's SO GROSS) but there's also Julia's death, Frank's death, and all the demons. Pinhead is just awesome, there's no need to go on for too long about him; the Female Cenobite is graceful and elegant despite her odd appearance; the Chatterer is deceptively amusing and I love the design of him (I have never understood the fingers in Kirsty's mouth - was that just to be a freak or what?); and Butterball always reminded me of one of those fat Italian guys in Mafia movies so I have a hard time taking him seriously. The Engineer (the monster that chases Kirsty down the hallway) is also a great design, and looks like one of those monsters that would come out of a child's imagination.

Another credit to the film is the great casting. Andrew Robinson as Larry is great at first as a typical dad, but then makes a wonderfully creepy turn as Frank when he takes his skin. Clare Higgins has a gorgeous face and a grace to carry it (damn those 80s fashion choices, though), and she gives Julia all the traits that actually make her a fairly complex character who just ends up making the wrong decisions and giving in to lust. Sean Chapman is Frank, the douchebag that started all this, and though I don't understand the physical attraction, he is the movie's representation of pure lust and desire, the idea of the wants of the human mind overtaking what someone knows they shouldn't do. And of course, Ashley Laurence breaks the mold as a pretty awesome heroine who doesn't take shit, and not only stands up to the Cenobites, but also cleverly figures out a way to work with them in order to spare herself. And when they still try to take her at the end, she again figures out how to save herself and send them back to Hell. Kirsty is foul-mouthed and fierce and I love her.

Although it does freak me out a bit when I read The Hellbound Heart because there she's just a family friend who has a crush on Larry, and in the movie she's Larry's daughter.

Hellraiser is a film that will probably forever remain on the list of my top horror films no matter how much any of the others change as the years go on. It is a timeless story, really, with characters and themes that will always be relevant, and villains that will always be icons in the genre. And now, be prepared to join me on the possibly treacherous journey through the sequels!

Win a Scarlet Gospels Prize Package!

Dudes, Clive Barker has a new novel coming out in May about Pinhead called The Scarlet Gospels, and the website I contribute to, Wicked Horror, is hosting a contest where you can win a copy of the book and some other awesome stuff!

It's a fan art contest, but don't be losers and think you can't win something because you can't draw. Put your heart and your love for Pinhead into it and we'll see it! It can be realistic, it can be graphic or abstract, it can be simplistic, we don't care! You can even make a fan video of some kind, like that stuff you see on YouTube. I'm so excited to be a part of hosting this contest, and I'm even more excited to see what fans can come up with.

Also, I can say with absolute certainty that The Scarlet Gospels is an awesome book, and Hellraiser and Clive Barker fans will definitely want to read it!

I've reposted the information about the contest below, but go to the Wicked Horror site for all the info and a picture of the prize package!

“If you're already excited for the release of Clive Barker's new novel The Scarlet Gospels this May 19th, then Wicked Horror has something to get you even more excited! We're working with St. Martin's Press on The Ultimate Pinhead Buzz-building Competition, where one lucky fan will win an awesome Scarlet Gospels Prize Package!

All you have to do is put your artistic skills to the test to create your own unique fan art for The Scarlet Gospels. Use your computer, paint, watercolor, pencil, or even crayon to show your love for your favorite Cenobite Pinhead and/or his adversary in The Scarlet Gospels, investigator Harry D'Amour. You can also make a video! Then email your submissions to our Wicked Horror staff writer by clicking HERE (or use address seeno_evil63@yahoo.com) with “Scarlet Gospels Contest” as the subject, and be sure to include the title of the book in your art. The winner will be chosen by the Wicked Horror staff.

What's included in the Prize Package? (pictured here)
- A hardcover copy of The Scarlet Gospels
- A Lemarchand Box
- A poster of Clive Barker's Pinhead artwork
- Plus, your artwork/video will posted on the St. Martin's Press social media pages

In addition, 4 runners-up will each receive an advanced reader's copy of The Scarlet Gospels, and will also have their art/video appear on the St. Martin's social media pages!

The contest is officially open NOW and entries will accepted until May 1st, 2015. Remember to include "The Scarlet Gospels" somewhere in your artwork, go HERE to submit it to Wicked Horror (using “Scarlet Gospels Contest” as the subject), and be sure to like the Wicked Horror Facebook page for all your horror news!

So get creating and get excited for the release of The Scarlet Gospels!”


See, that's easy enough! The entries are being submitted to me at my email address - seeno_evil63@yahoo.com. I would enter this contest myself just for that Clive Barker artwork poster, but it's one of YOU who will winning it, so get those entries to me! Remember, you have until May 1st!

Prize Packages can only be sent to residents of the United States and Canada.

 

Texas Frightmare Weekend 2014: Day Two

 

Saturday always seems to be the best day of this convention just because it's the longest and the craziest, with the most going on throughout the day with panels and movie screenings. I ran into my Tobin Bell line buddy Ryan again while we were waiting for the doors to open, and we talked about what our plans were for the day. I didn't even get a chance to see the other room the night before so I did a quick lap before getting in any more lines to scope things out. Ahhh! So much to see and do!

 

I stuck with my must-meet list as it stood and got in line to meet the badass T-1000, Robert Patrick! I have always loved this dude - his voice and face have always made him a stand-out in whatever role he's in. While I was close to meeting him in line, Scott Wilson came over to say hi to him and some lucky girl got to have both Scott and Robert in a picture with her. Jealous.

 

 

As a big fan of his and of Sons of Anarchy, I had to ask Robert if he was coming back for the last season of the show (he is!) and he started telling me about all the other TV stuff he's involved with. This guy is going to be all over the place - he mentioned True Blood (which I, um, have never watched... sorry, Robert), the From Dusk Till Dawn series and one other new one that I forget the name of. He sounded excited and was just such a cool guy to be around. I put my arm around his beefy manliness and got a great picture with him. Another great meeting!

 

 

 

As I'm walking around, I come to a dead stop at one of the vendor tables when I see that on the wall they have a freaking Battle Royale t-shirt. Gimme, gimme, gimme! Never seen a Battle Royale shirt before so this was a definite must have.

 

 

Then at another table I want this House on Haunted Hill (original) shirt that I see, but they don't have my size so I get this bitching Carrie one instead. 

 

In the corner of the same room is John Kassir, the talented and hilarious voice of the Cryptkeeper from Tales from the Crypt. Every once in a while, John would get on the microphone in the Cryptkeeper voice and laugh and say some of his cheesy puns - "Come on over here, we're DYING to meet you!" - which made me laugh every single time because I absolutely LOVE the Cryptkeeper.

 

 

BUT, just before I'm about to get in line to meet John, I randomly run into someone else I was looking forward to meeting. I have good online relationships with a couple of different horror authors because I've reviewed some of the books they've sent me, and one of those authors is Texas-based Brian Moreland. I loved his books Dead of Winter and Shadows in the Mist. I mentioned how I wished he had a table at the convention that year so that I could get an actual physical copy of one of his books (I've only read PDF versions thus far) and he actually runs out to his car to get me a copy of his most recent book, The Devil's Woods. Awesome! We talked more about the convention and his upcoming works. Very cool to finally meet him in person!

 

 

Also, we noticed that nearby where we were standing were these Nazi zombie life-sized statue things that look like they came straight out of one of his books, so we had to take pictures with them.

 

Cryptkeeper time! Stoked to meet John Kassir, and I tell him that practically the whole week before the convention I'd been watching Tales from the Crypt episodes to get pumped up for the event, and that makes him happy. Also mentioned how last year they had the Cryptkeeper doll at the FearNet table and how cool it was that he was there this year. He signs my picture "To Michele, My Ghoulfriend" (HAHAHAHAHA) and for his pictures with fans he has this cutout of the Cryptkeeper's head on a stick to hold up. While we're posing, John starts giggling like the Cryptkeeper in my ear and I can barely hold in my laughter to get a good picture! Seriously, love love love this guy!

 

 

 

I got lucky with my ticket purchase this year and was able to get a Premium Pass, which not only got me into all three days of the convention, but also got me the opportunity to use a line skip on two celebrities. I had to be a dick and use one of them for Scott Wilson, my beloved Hershel from The Walking Dead, and Eugene from Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon. Oh my goodness, what a doll. I told him that it was the saddest day on the show when he left and we talked about the possibility of the Behind the Mask sequel or prequel. We take our picture and I say thank you before trying to leave and let him get to the rest of the people in his line, but he won't let me leave without a hug! Ah, such a sweetheart.

 

 

 

 

Did I also mention how excited I was that he still had the beard and hair? He looks so good with it!

 

There were some pretty great costumes this year, including a group of Terminator and T-1000 guys to celebrate the reunion...

 

 

...and a very cool chick donning some sort of feminized version of Jigsaw's puppet.

 

 

Wow. Talk about bad angles.

 

Anyway, I had planned on meeting Linda Blair, which would have been awesome but I decided against it and just managed to get a sneaky pic before I was shooed away.

 

 

Last year there was this one booth with some amazing paintings, but I didn't get to meet the artist. Well, he was back this year with some equally great paintings covering all different kinds of horror movies, TV shows, and general horror icons. Look at this stuff! This guy is really talented, I almost felt bad for not buying any of his paintings. Couldn't bring them home, sorry!

 

 















 

I sadly only made it to two panels this year, and consequently they were back-to-back. First up was the Night of the Demons reunion panel with stars Linnea Quigley and Amelia Kinkade and director Kevin Tenney, with moderator Kristy Jett. Lots of great stories from all of these guys about the overall making of the movie, how the shot with the broken mirror was accomplished, what it was like for the actors to work with the prosthetics and makeup, and antics behind the scenes. Since I didn't meet any of these guys either, this was such a great panel to go to!

 

 

 

 

Right after this panel was one with just Scott Wilson (again moderated by Kristy Jett) where he of course talked about his career, In Cold Blood, Behind the Mask, and The Walking Dead. I just loved his attitude all weekend - he seemed to be having a really good time and genuinely enjoyed meeting and talking to his fans. I got to ask him the last question of the panel, which was about who on The Walking Dead would replace him as the sort of moral compass or conscience for the people left on the show. His response? Lil' Asskicker. So sad I'm not going to be able to see him on TWD every week now! Love this guy.

 

 

 

Soon after this panel I head toward Cenobyte Row, where they were having a Hellraiser reunion with Barbie Wilde, Nicholas Vince, and Doug Bradley. And who should already be in Doug's line but my friends from last year, Heather and Acacia! I saw Acacia for a little bit on Friday but it was so good to run into some friends after being on my own for most of the past two days. We hung out with each other while we all got the autographs we needed and caught up a little bit on the last year. Yea for convention friends, that's all I gotta say!

 

Did I mention that I met Doug Bradley, Mister Pinhead himself? Yes, I did! Hellraiser has always been a huge favorite of mine and there was no way I was passing this opportunity up. In hindsight, I guess I should have gotten autographs from all the Cenobytes but I was trying to hold onto my money at this point. No matter, I still got to tell Doug about my admiration of him and his voice in Hellraiser and I got a great picture of him signed!

 

 

I hadn't really planned on going to any of the movie screenings this year because I wasn't sure if time would allow, but Heather and Acacia talked me into meeting up with them later to catch the Spanish comedy flick, Witching and Bitching (Spanish title: "Las Brugas de Zugarramurdi," or "The Witches of Zugarramurdi").

 

 

Oh, how I loved this movie. Great comedy, great effects, great acting. The story moves fast and never lets up the momentum and it was completely unlike anything I was expecting. Witching and Bitching - keep this one on your radar, folks!

 

After the screening, I was done for the night. Twelve consecutive hours of awesome is too much even for me. But my goodness, there was still another day left! More stories and celeb meetings! Could it get any better???

 

 

 

Read my Day One recap here!