Movie Review: The Cabin in the Woods (2012)

The only word to describe my feelings right now is giddy. Thinking about what I saw in the movie theater yesterday, I still have a gigantic smile on my face and I just have to say that I am so goshdarn happy to be a horror fan right now. My love and loyalty to Buffy the Vampire Slayer creator Joss Whedon (and in the same way, director Drew Goddard, who was also a great writer for Buffy) had given me complete faith that he would make a movie I would love, so The Cabin in the Woods was one of those movies where I completely avoided reading even a single word about it (I never watched the teaser trailer either) before heading to the theater today. And wouldn't you know it, that's exactly the way this movie needs to be seen!

I can't talk about how much I love this movie without spoiling pretty much everything so if you haven't seen it yet, you need to get off your ass and go do that right now. I think this review is going to be more about what the movie does and how it is different rather than something analyzing the acting and effects like I usually do anyway. That might have to come later.

So basically all I knew about The Cabin in the Woods was that it was a horror movie, there were people in a cabin in the woods, and Joss Whedon was involved. But right from the beginning of the movie, I realized that I was dealing with a bit more than that. The opening credit sequence starts out familiar enough, all dark and with blood spattering over the screen, then it immediately shifts to a scene of a mundane office conversation between two middle-aged dudes. Huhhhhhh? How is this related to the movie we think we're going to see? But as the tagline suggests, this is not the typical horror movie story you think you know.

Indeed, "Huh?" is what you will be asking yourself throughout most of the film, as the scenes in the strange office building are interspersed with the scenes of our five cliche college students heading to the cabin for a weekend of fun - the nice girl, the nice guy, the jock, the sexy girl, and the pothead. As the cliches kept coming at me (especially in the scene where the group stops for gas at an old, abandoned station and meets the crazy townie who warns them of the cabin) I was getting annoyed and disappointed at my pal Joss Whedon. Joss, what the hell are you doing with all these stereotypes? I know for a fact that you are way better than this! Oh, little did I know that that was his exact intention. While it takes a while for the truth to be revealed, the payoff was beyond anything that I ever expected. I admit, I was mightily frustrated there for a bit, not knowing what was going on, but when I sat back and just let it happen, believe me I was more than satisfied.

The entire concept for this movie was simply GENIUS. Other movies have of course already poked fun at (but still been respectful of) those same old scenarios and characters and rules that prevail in a wide range of both classic and modern horror films. The Cabin in the Woods takes that about 10 steps further. Here, we have an entire company with a full staff watching the five potential victims in the cabin, and doing everything they can to make sure that these kids actually follow the standard horror movie cliches. Reading the Latin from the diary, going off into the woods to have sex, going for a walk by yourself, splitting the group up when they should be sticking together - it's all here. The kids are secretly given drugs to make them act like the stereotype they're supposed to be and the company has complete control over everything in the environment inside and outside of the cabin to make the situation go the way they want it to.

To really get the situation moving, the company gets the kids to go down into the cellar, where there lies a myriad of strange objects, most of them seemingly innocuous. The kids don't know that each object holds the power to raise a certain kind of foe that will eventually kill them - a ghost, a Pinhead-like torturer, a werewolf. All these monsters are owned by the company, deep underground underneath the cabin itself, lying in wait for their turn to be chosen. Dana reads from a diary first and thus the choice is made. The kids are now fighting against a "zombie redneck torture family" and the company's mission is almost complete. Finding out just what their final goal is is half the fun of watching the movie, and I hope that everybody loved it just as much as I did.

I cannot wait to get this movie on DVD so that I can catch up on all the little jokes that I probably missed. In the huge wide shot where they show all the cubes with the different monsters in them, I was frantically trying to catch a glimpse at what all was in there. A giant tarantula, two little twin girls, and other unrecognizable creatures are the only ones I can remember. Likewise in the scene where the winner of the betting pool was announced, I was listening to the dialogue whilst trying to quickly read all the possible monster scenarios on the dry erase board behind Richard Jenkins.

On that note, I have to say that the characters and the actors playing them in the unnamed company were far more enjoyable than the kids in the cabin. Richard Jenkins and Bradley Whitford were a hilarious duo that I couldn't get enough of. Jenkins's comedic genius is untouchable; I have loved all of his performances in a variety of roles. Buffy and Angel fans will really get a kick out of seeing Amy Acker and Tom Lenk in supporting roles, the latter one being just as charming and funny as his Buffy character, Andrew.

The bad thing about The Cabin in the Woods is that it mostly caters to a specific audience, I believe. Mainstream audiences probably do know about all these horror movie staples that are introduced and played with in this movie (perhaps because Scream flat-out told them about some of them) but overall the ones who will appreciate it the most are horror fans. The audience I was with in the theater, though small, was most likely not comprised of others like me because they never laughed or showed any kind of understanding once through the whole thing. In the climactic and freaking awesome scene where the monsters are released from their boxes and all holy hell breaks loose, I was laughing my ass off, silently clapping, and wanting to stand up and cheer my absolute approval. Everybody else? Hardly any reaction at all. It made me a little sad.

But forget about them. This movie made me so stoked and excited about horror again. I don't think it necessarily "reinvented" the genre as other reviewers are suggesting, but I think it might be a "refresher" of sorts. It's one of the most original ideas to come to horror in a long time, and it serves as a reminder that horror doesn't have to ever die. With this genre, we can go as far out there as we want to with stories and concepts for future horror movies. We can use the tried and true methods for making a successful and gory film (i.e. five kids going to a cabin in the woods) but we can twist it into something completely different. Or we can learn from this movie and stay away from those stereotypes and continue to think of fresh, exciting ideas. It is possible, and Whedon and Goddard proved that with this stellar and mind-blowingly impressive film. I think it's going to be one to talk about and look back on for years to come.

Buffy Week: Classic Monsters Buffy Style

Sunnydale, California is home to a cornucopia of demons and other-worldly things that go bump in the night. Given the title of the show and our heroine's job title, there is most noticeably an unending horde of one of the most classic monsters in horror history - the vampire. But we soon learn that the Hellmouth attracts many different kinds of beasts, those both made up by the show's writers and those which have been made famous by Hollywood. So here I give a list of these classic monsters, represented in true Buffy style.

Classic Monster: Dracula

Buffy Style Dracula

The King of Vampires gets a bad ass update in the first episode of season five, titled "Buffy vs. Dracula." However, the show stays steadfast to Dracula's classic story, including all the elements of the original film. Dracula arrives to his mansion in Sunnydale in a coffin of dirt; he has his vampiric female concubines (or as Riley refers to them, "Dracu-babes"); he makes Xander his "spider-eating man bitch"; he can turn into a bat ("showy Gypsy stuff"); and he majestically enters Buffy's room one night to bite her and she lets him. The Buffy Dracula has all the mystique and charm that you would expect him to have, made all the more entertaining when you add in the classic Buffy wit.

Classic Monster: The Mummy

Buffy Style Mummy

For most of this season 2 episode, "Inca Mummy Girl," the mummy known as Ampata actually looks human and is not a corpse wrapped in bandages. The story is that she can keep her human form for a while until she starts to revert back to a mummy so she has to suck out other people's life force or soul or whatever. She almost kills one of the show's best characters, Jonathan (this is his first appearance on the show), but thankfully is interrupted and he lives on.

Classic Monster: Frankenstein/

Bride of Frankenstein

Buffy Style Frankenstein

"Some Assembly Required" (season 2) gives a modern spin on the tale of Frankenstein's monster and also the Bride of Frankenstein. Two teenage boys at Sunnydale High use the body parts of recently dead girls in order to create a mate for one boy's dead brother (the Frankenstein monster) who is very lonely being all dead and stuff. They plan to use Cordelia's head to complete the Bride, whom we sadly never get to see, but everybody comes in to save the day at the end, and the Frankenstein and his Bride go up in a fiery blaze.  

Classic Monster: Creature from the Black Lagoon

Buffy Style Creature from the Black Lagoon

We're back in season 2 again with the episode "Go Fish," where members of the high school swim team start turning into horrific sea monsters after being given drugs by the coach to make them better swimmers. The creature that was created for the show bears a very strong resemblance to the original Creature from the Black Lagoon, so it's more than obvious that that was the inspiration for the episode.

Classic Monster: The Invisible Man

Buffy Syle Invisible (Wo)Man

I've always loved the concept for this episode. In season one's "Out of Mind, Out of Sight," teenager Marci Ross (played by Clea Duvall, whom I LOVE) is a loner who after probably years of not being noticed by others actually becomes completely invisible. Letting the power of her new condition warp her mind, she starts to attack the people at Sunnydale High who were mean to her; namely, Cordelia and her friends. The ending to this episode is great, as well.

Classic Monster: Werewolf

Buffy Style Werewolf

The werewolf shows up several times throughout the seasons on Buffy, seeing as how one of the main characters, Oz, is a werewolf. The first appearance is in season 2 (noticing a pattern here?) in "Phases" when Oz's transformation takes place. The werewolf lore in the Buffyverse is pretty much the same standard fare we all know, so nothing new here. There's also a great episode in season 5 of Angel, when newly turned werewolf Nina almost becomes a meal for people who like to dine on werewolf meat. 

Classic Monster: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Buffy Style Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Okay, we're out of season 2 now. This Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde spinoff is featured in the season 3 episode "Beauty and the Beasts." A high school boy takes a potion to make him more manly for his girlfriend. But soon the potion turns him into the animal seen above, and he's unable to control his rage. There's some nice makeup and effects work in this episode. 

Classic Monster: Witches

Buffy Style Witch

In season 2 Willow starts to dabble in witchcraft and the rest is history. She uses her powers throughout the show on the side of the good guys (well, except when she goes evil and kills people) but witches weren't always that way on Buffy. The season 1 episode "The Witch" introduces us to Amy, whom Buffy and the others suspect of using witchcraft to attack the girls on the cheerleading squad. It is later learned that Amy's mother is the real witch, who switched her body with Amy's in order to relive her glory days as a high school student.

Classic Monster: Zombies

Buffy Style Zombies

During Buffy's not-so-welcome welcome home party in the season 3 episode "Dead Man's Party," a Nigerian mask that Joyce brings home from her art gallery causes the dead to rise from their graves. They crash the party at Buffy's home and chaos ensues. Very funny episode and quite emotional, as well. Another form of the zombie monster also appears in the season 3 episode "The Zeppo."

There's always a way to put a new spin on a classic story and I think Buffy, the Vampire Slayer succeeded in that task with these and many other episodes during the show's seven-year run.

Buffy Week: Halloween Episodes

Living on the Hellmouth with hordes of the undead and other monsters and demons, every day can seem like Halloween in the Buffyverse. But in seven seasons of the show, there have only been three episodes that specifically take place on Halloween. Two of them are pretty good, one... maybe not so much.

"Halloween"

Season 2, Episode 6

The first season of Buffy was a mid-season replacement for another show, so no room for a special Halloween episode there. But that was quickly rectified the next season in the episode "Halloween," which is sadly overlooked as a standout show.

Buffy, Willow and Xander all go to a new costume shop to purchase their various Halloween attire, ready for a fun night taking kids trick-or-treating because Halloween is supposed to be a quiet night for the undead. However, the owner of the costume shop, Ethan Rayne, has a love for chaos and casts a spell that causes everyone who bought his costumes to actually turn into whatever they are dressed up as. Willow becomes a ghost (and a sexy one at that), Xander becomes a soldier, and Buffy becomes a flighty 18th century girl; all of them losing the memories of who they really are.

This is a fantastic idea for a Halloween story: what if you could actually become your Halloween costume, when you get to dress up as anything you want? Now, this episode only shows the little devils and demons that the kids turn into but what about the girls who dressed up as princesses or the boys who donned Superman's outfit? Would the kid really have become Superman?! It's not really relevant to this story, but it's what always goes through my mind when I watch the episode.

"Halloween" is not only a genius concept episode, it's pretty freaking funny too (like almost all the episodes on the show). I really love Alyson Hannigan and Charisma Carpenter's performances in this, as Willow and Cordelia respectively. Willow is funny because she has to spend the whole time very much out of her comfort zone in a sexy outfit, and Cordelia's hilarity comes from her inability to believe that Angel is actually a vampire.

All in all, "Halloween" is a pretty solid episode in the world of Buffy, and it also gets props for the introduction of Ethan Rayne, an old "friend" of Giles who comes back to cause problems in two subsequent episodes.

"Fear, Itself"

Season 4, Episode 4

Most of the fourth season of Buffy sucks. That's harsh, I know, but it's a commonly held belief amongst Buffy fans that season 4 as a whole is just not up to par with the rest of the show. The season does boast some pretty good stand alone episodes, with "Fear, Itself" being a fun little throwback to the lighter episodes of seasons past.

So in this episode, Buffy's feeling down after being ditched by Jerky Parker; Xander and Anya's relationship is slowly budding; Willow and Buffy are pulling away from each other; and Oz is still having problems dealing with his status as a werewolf. They all go to a frat party on Halloween night where, as luck would have it, the frat boys have inadvertently summoned a fear demon that keeps them all trapped inside the house.

This episode is nothing special, but it's not all that bad either. It helps advance the story arc of the main characters (a little) and is presented as a kind of haunted house tale with a different edge. The fear demon, Gachnar, separates the friends from each other in the house and taunts and torments them in different ways, manifesting their deepest fears about themselves.

There are some nice gags in this episode that would be more than welcome in any haunted house movie, just for the creep factor: the missing doorway and stairs; the Halloween decorations that come to life and then suddenly turn back again; and the disoriented feeling from not being able to find a way out.

Probably the best part about this episode - other than the appearance and destruction of wee little Gachnar and Giles's final line - is that it starts a hilarious in-joke about how Anya, a former wrathful vengeance demon, is terrified of bunnies. Also, Giles with a chain saw is kinda sexy.

"All the Way"

Season 6, Episode 6

This episode is not so much my favorite because although it takes place on Halloween, the point of the episode is not focused on Halloween itself. I only started to like Dawn as a character in season 7, when she became way less whiny and far more useful, and "All the Way" is most definitely a "Dawn episode."

So it's Halloween, obviously, and while the rest of the gang has an impromptu party to celebrate Xander and Anya's engagement, Dawn sneaks off with a friend - the as yet unseen girl known as Janice - to go galavanting about town like kids do on Halloween. They meet up with two dudes who turn out to be vampires who then want to turn the girls into vampires.

This episode also sets up a fun little side story of the kids getting involved with the crazy old man down the street but that's almost immediately disposed of when the boy vamps are revealed to be the real threat.  And they are so lame.

I mean, I guess I just don't really get the point of this episode and what it is supposed to say about Dawn's character. I'm thinking it's about how she finally finds a guy that she likes and who likes her back and that makes her feel special in a world where she is fairly useless compared to the people around her. However, "All the Way" mostly helps progress the stories of Willow and Tara and Willow's overuse of magic, and also Xander's fear of his impending marriage to Anya, more than any story about Dawn. It also gives more hints to the sexual tension between Buffy and Spike.

Highlights of the episode, though, include the cute little girl dressed as a witch in the Magic Box (credited as "Witchy Poo"), Giles finally getting to show some bad ass vampire slayage, and the performance of the old guy at the beginning. Maybe if he had been the real villain of the episode, things would have been a lot more interesting. But this one is kind of a dud for me.

Horror Movie Memorabilia (And Excuses For Not Blogging)

TheGirl has been slacking a lot on the review writing. This is for a few reasons, perhaps. One, I haven't actually been watching many movies lately (ever since I discovered "Hoarders" was on Netflix - love that show) and the ones I have seen have not been that worthy of a review. Except The Brood. Still working on that. Two, I'm on the book tour for Shock Value by Jason Zinoman and I've had to read that and write a deserving review, which I am also still working on (will be posted on July 18!). In fact, I may even read it again in order to have a more informed opinion. Whew.

So I'm trying to be more creative with the blogging thing and doing more than just reviews. Today, as I'm sitting in my room, it hit me!

Some of my most prized possessions include my little array of horror movie memorabilia. I would like to share with you some of these things I've collected - with pictures, of course - and I want to hear from you about anything horror-related that YOU have! I don't know if any of this stuff is true "memorabilia," like, if they're worth anything or whatever, but I love them and I want to acquire more!

Posters

The most obvious thing to collect for any movie lover are posters. I've collected a lot of non-horror posters (used to work in the video section of my grocery store) and the horror ones I do have I love, but there are certain ones that I still need to get. LIKE POLTERGEIST. It's my favorite horror movie. Why don't I have a poster of it yet??? Anyway, here are the ones I do have.

The Evil Dead! It used to have a primo spot on my wall, right above my bed, but got moved recently.

Love Saw, of course, but more so, I love this image from the film so I had to get the poster.

As they appear on my walls. Two eras of filmmaking converge!

Gosh darn, I loves me some Resident Evil. And this poster was free, too!

Toys/Dolls

Some of these I picked up pretty cheap on eBay, some I found at my video store. They're all great.

This is the "Splitting Ash and Deadite" doll collection from Army of Darkness. Terrible likeness, but still kinda neat, I think.

Also a terrible likeness, this is supposed to be Darla from the "Welcome to the Hellmouth" episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. She's got some cute accessories.

This is Jessica Biel's character Erin from the TCM remake (a little bit better likeness!). I like the movie but not sure why I bought this. I guess because I liked that she's got a big slab of meat with her.

Here's the best one! The original Movie Maniacs doll of Leatherface from The Texas Chain Saw Massacre! He's got a background with the movie poster, a bloody bucket, a severed head, a meat hook... everything Leatherface needs!

Calm down, Jenny, he's not real - I have to tell myself that several times a day, too. This little plush Chucky doll is supposedly from Child's Play 2 (as the tag says) but this could be from the first film as well, I guess. So far, he hasn't shown signs of coming to life, but who knows? He could be getting up in the middle of the night and wandering around my house for all I know.

Miscellaneous

T-shirts, knickknacks, and signs - oh my! Here's some more random stuff that I have!

The first of a few Psycho related stuff. I found this on AllPosters.com (FANTASTIC site) and just had to have it. It's just a cool tin sign.

 

More Psycho stuff. I got these goodies from Dollar Bin Horror and I L-O-V-E love them! My Bates Motel t-shirt already got a little color stain from the washing machine (GRRRR), but, my Bates Motel keychain is still rockin' its awesomeness on my keyring.

Brought back to life from a previous post, here's my autographed photo of Joe Bob Briggs!

And just for fun, here is my little bookshelf that holds nothing but Stephen King paperback and hardcover books. And I still don't have them all. I picked up a few first editions (at least I hope they are) of Pet Sematary and Misery recently so that's awesome!

I also have one of those Ghostface Scream masks, but that's not as cool because they sell that every year at Halloween stores now. 

So now my horror movie nerdines is out in the open for all to see. And I'm dang proud of it! What about my amazing fellow bloggers and readers? Got any cool horror movie stuff you have that you'd like to share?