Movie Review: Ichi the Killer (2001)

So occasionally Netflix will give me the kick in the ass I need to watch all the movies in my queue by mysteriously making them unavailable for streaming on a certain date. Such was the case with Ichi the Killer, which is a film I know I should have seen a long time ago. And although it was quite a different movie than I was envisioning, it was no doubt a fun journey into the realm of mind-fuckery, courtesy of that austere auteur mind-fucker, Takashi Miike.

When yakuza crime boss Anjo disappears with a lot of money, his loyal henchman Kakihara - a sadomasochist with blonde hair and a heavily scarred face - goes on a revenge mission to find out what happened to him. He learns that Anjo was brutally murdered by a mysterious killer named Ichi, who is infamous for the fantastically bloody crime scenes he leaves behind after he's done his work.

To get the obvious complaint out of the way, no, that is not Ichi on the cover up there. That is Kakihara, who actually turns out to be a much more interesting character. Just his look makes him ten times cooler than anyone else in the movie, with his flashy rock star clothing and those weird-ass piercings on his mouth that seems to be holding the skin together (a later scene tells us that this is the truth - gah). Kakihara's character is also used to show the funny side of sadomasochism - as in the scenes where he gleefully tortures people ("KAKIHARA! What is going on here??!!"  "Just a little torture.") and the one scene where Anjo's girl Karen attempts to sexually satisfy Kakihara by beating the crap out of him.

But apparently Kakihara has nothing on the elusive Ichi in terms of blood and guts. So that we get an idea right off the bat of how dangerous Ichi is, the first main scene involves some men going into a room to clean up after him. There is gallons of blood literally dripping from the ceiling and walls, and all kinds of body parts and viscera on the floor, which one of the guys ends up slipping in. Ew.

And just who is this Ichi the Killer? In reality, he's a wimp. He's a whiny, pathetic little crybaby who can't be more than 25 years old. Turns out Ichi is under the control of Jijii who uses hypnosis and mind control to plant false memories into Ichi's head of him having been bullied at school. These memories enrage Ichi, and make him commit the murders that Jijii wants him to do. The best part is the fact that Ichi has this great all-black superhero outfit that he wears to do the killing, with the number 1 in yellow on the back. I thought this was silly at first, like Ichi was trying to say that he was Number 1, but a little research tells me that "ichi" is the Japanese word for "one." So I stand corrected.

Now I hate to sound like a jaded horror fan but it's true that I was a little disappointed by the violence and gore that this movie is supposedly so famous for. Or was I just not as affected by it because it was presented in a mostly comedic fashion? I'd say that's probably it. Many of the scenes reminded me of Tokyo Gore Police with the excessive blood-sprayage, especially in the two scenes where Ichi heel-razors those two chicks in the neck. I don't see how people can have a problem with this kind of violence, when it is very obviously cartoonish and so extreme that you can't really take it seriously.

The only parts where the violence was definitely not funny to me were the two scenes of the pimp beating up and raping a prostitute that Ichi likes. Though it is a bit over-the-top in how hard he punches her in the face, I wasn't too fond of these scenes because of how graphic they were and how close they were to reality.

I'm not saying that there wasn't some great gore gags in this movie, though - not by a long shot. Ichi the Killer has got some nasty stuff going on in it that I would have never thought of in a million years. When Kakihara takes out the piercings in his mouth and skins that guy's hand with his teeth? When Suzuki is strung up by those body hooks and has hot oil poured over his back and head? When the prostitute-abuser and rapist gets sliced down the middle of his body? Wonderful. All of these scenes were so much fun to watch, even if the special effects were mediocre on some of them - especially the body that gets split in half. I don't know if I was laughing at the effects at that part or the way the guy died, it could go either way.

As one of the most well-loved extreme Asian horror films, Ichi the Killer did not disappoint me. Even at over two hours long, it never felt drawn out or boring. I loved every minute of it and enjoyed the story that turned out to be so much different than I thought it was going to be. Another point for you, Miike! Good work!

Asian Horror Week: Three... Extremes (2004, China, South Korea, Japan)

Three Asian directors take a stab at the anthology subgenre with three very different short films that make up Three... Extremes. Fruit Chan from Hong Kong helms "Dumplings," Park Chan-wook from South Korea directs "Cut," and the awesome Takashi Miike from Japan gives us "Box."

Dumplings
In "Dumplings, a once famous actress goes to see a woman named Aunt Mei, whose special dumplings are known for their anti-aging properties - if you can overlook the secret ingredient.

All of the films in Three... Extremes seem to have a grotesque nature surrounding them, and this one is quite possibly the most grotesque. I thought the big mystery about this short would what was actually in the dumplings, but it's not. They tell you fairly soon on what Aunt Mei is using to make herself and other women look younger, and if you really think about it for a minute you can probably figure it out for yourself. I had a pretty good idea about it myself before it was revealed and was quite grossed out to find out that I was right. But if you don't want to know, go away because I just can't ignore it.

I say "Dumplings" is the most grotesque, but the one thing it has in common with another of the stories - "Cut" - is that it is almost a black comedy. Mrs. Li is in a failing relationship with both her husband and her career. She goes to see Aunt Mei knowing what is in those dumplings but she is desperate to regain her youth and make her husband interested in her again. Li at first seems reluctant to partake in the consumption of ABORTED FETUSES (yup, that's the special recipe) yet she still does it, and comes back several times - even demanding that Aunt Mei provide her with more "potent" goods to make them work faster.

This is where a bit of the black comedy comes in. The scenes where Li is eating the dumplings are morbidly funny to me with the way Aunt Mei casually talks about the best way to cook the fetuses, and also the looks on Li's face and the nasty crunching noises as she chews. Li herself becomes the most grotesque character of the bunch, especially in her final scenes. Yuuuuuuuuck.

There's some nice bloody baby gore, so women watching this movie, beware! Not one but two bloody abortion scenes are extremely disturbing and made me cross my legs for the duration of the film. You might not want to eat much after watching "Dumplings," and even if you are offended by what you see, it's surely not something you'll forget any time soon.


Cut

"Cut" was by far my favorite in this anthology. It's about a Director (I use caps because that's how I'll be referring to him) and his Wife who are taken hostage by a crazed Extra. If Director doesn't do what Extra says, Extra will cut off one of Wife's fingers every minutes (she's a pianist). The film has very surreal imagery. The hostages are held on the set of Director's latest movie, which strangely looks like the living room of his own home, and the set up that Extra puts Wife in is way past bizarre looking. Director is attached around the waist by a really long band that goes through one wall of the set and out and around and up the ceiling - it's just odd. The set itself is a huge open room with blue walls, gold accents, and a black and white tiled floor. It's calming and pretty and looks like it belongs on a episode of Friends, not a horror story. It's well lit and a very unsettling atmosphere.

The comedy is much more apparent in this short and again it is more of a black humor, although there is a song and dance number. Don't get too psyched, it's just Extra going a little crazy. His whole beef with Director is your basic jealousy - Director has a pretty wife, successful career, nice house and Extra has nothing, is a drunk, and beats his wife and son. Extra keeps trying to make Director corrupt himself by admitting any kind of past bad deed that will convince Extra that Director is not the Mister Perfect he thinks he is. In the end, Extra wants Director to commit the ultimate atrocity to save his wife.

I absolutely loved the way "Cut" was shot. It starts off with a spectacular tracking shot that goes around the actors in the room, then speeds out behind them, going through the handle of a pitcher, and around and through other objects. There's also a lot of tight close-up shots and zooms - something that is not used a lot in film anymore, and frankly I think it should be.

At times "Cut" feels like any other cat-and-mouse game between good guy and bad guy, but the acting and set pieces, and also some plot twists along the way, make it the most entertaining short in Three... Extremes. There's some confusion at the end with Director's final actions but don't let it get you down. You'll have way more time to be confused at the last segment.


Box
The final film, "Box," concerns a writer haunted by the memory of her sister. Without shame, I put on my dunce cap over this movie. I have no fucking clue what is going on. Looking up some interpretations, I see that many people have many different ideas as to just what the film is trying to explore. There doesn't seem to be an solid explanation, even from the director himself, so maybe I should just stick to the technical specs.

"Box" is basically your typical Miike - a convoluted mess of a fucking confusing plot projected by beautiful imagery. The main character Kyoko has a recurring dream somebody burying her alive inside a tiny box, under a ground blanketed by fresh snow. She also has flashbacks to her life as a child in the circus, performing magic tricks with her twin sister. The deep reds and golds of these scenes are a stark contrast cold blues and whites in the scenes where Kyoko is older. Kyoko and her sister Shoko also did synchronized gymnastics moves in their act together, which at times looks very freaky.

As I said, this short can be and has been interpreted to mean several different things to different people. The events and clues presented seem to mean an underlying theme of guilt and remorse to one person, while another person sees jealousy and repressed feelings from sexual molestation. My mind was only a jumble of question marks by the time the credits roll, so I don't feel at all qualified to give an interpretation at this point - at least not until I've seen it about 20 more times to help me understand it.

I'm not demanding an artist to give us a cut and dry explanation of just what the hell he's trying to say in his work, but sometimes a story as open-ended and ambiguous as this is downright frustrating - and I don't know about you, but when I'm frustrated, I'm a six-year-old trying to read War and Peace. It sucks. In that sense, "Box" was a big downer after the fun and excitement of "Dumplings" and "Cut" and didn't really seem to fit into this anthology. It's still a great piece of art from a great director and I continually applaud Miike for the kind of shit he thinks up. I don't want anyone fucking with my mind but you, Miike.

A Week of "P" Movies: Pelts

Fuck you, Dario Argento. Fuck you and your GD genius of gore. Don't get me wrong, I love you and all, but fucking Pelts fucking traumatized me for life. Thanks.

No, sincerely... thanks. I mean, Pelts has got some of the best gore I've seen in a long time, but still. Is it possible that this is maybe too much gore?

I never thought I would say that.

In Pelts, Meat Loaf plays a sleazy fur trader obsessed with a lesbian stripper named Shanna (I must admit, she has a very nice ass), who wants nothing to do with him (I mean, it's Meat Loaf, hello!). When John Saxon, one of those dudes who catches and skins animals for furs, captures a slew of raccoons with apparently gorgeous pelts (I didn't know raccoons were that awesome), Meat Loaf really wants them to make a fur coat for Shanna so he can finally have her (and by have her, yes, I mean have sex with her). Ah, but these are no ordinary pelts. For some reason that is never explained, the pelts make those around them go insanely cuckoo and also makes them mutilate themselves in the grossest ways ever. Let the gore commence.

If loving Argento is wrong,
I don't want to be right.

Now, I'm going to admit that I really hated Argento's first Masters of Horror episode, Jenifer. It was just, like, I don't know... weird. So I was thinking that this next one had to be better. I was never warned that Pelts was perhaps the goriest thing produced by Masters of Horror yet (well, except maybe Takashi Miike's Imprint, which never aired, which I still haven't watched yet for some reason), but the element of surprise was worth the experience of watching Pelts for the first time.

Let's just talk about the gore for this movie, okay? Yeah, I could talk about the acting and the subtext about obsessions and passions or whatever, but who cares. My first gore review, whoopie! Let's go scene by scene.

1. John Saxon's head bashed in with a baseball bat. You see his head cave in on the very first strike. Not as inventive a kill as it could have been, but very brutal.

2. Kid putting his face into an animal trap. The scene that traumatized me for life. This and that jaw rip death from Mirrors have freaked me out more than anything else I have seen. After beating the shit out of John Saxon's head, this kid goes down to the basement, lovingly strokes the raccoon pelts, puts an animal trap onto a table, opens it, smiles, and then PUTS HIS FUCKING FACE INTO IT. And this is Argento, so we don't cut away at all. Noooo, we have to see the whole GD thing, up close and personal. Excellent makeup effects, but FUCK. Was that disturbing.

Even worse: When Meat Loaf and this other dude discover the body, Meat Loaf sort of smiles and looks at it like it's the most beautiful thing in the world. Creeeeeeeepyyyyy.

3. Man eviscerates himself. After being berated by Meat Loaf for cutting the pelts wrong, one of his workers pulls out some scissors while sitting in his car. He cuts into himself from belly to throat, rips his skin apart, and starts pulling out his guts. The makeup, and sound effects especially, were a little too good in this scene and I almost horked on my shoes. 

4. Woman sews her face shut. A little lame and a little too obviously CG. One of Meat Loaf's stereotypical Chinese female workers stays late one night to finish the fur coat and instead decides to sew her nose, mouth, and eyes shut. Kind of boring. I wasn't impressed.

5. Meat Loaf makes Shanna a skin tank top. The penultimate event of the episode. Meat Loaf takes the fur coat to Shanna's apartment, bangs her, and then goes into the bathroom, saying that he "needs something sharp." Uh oh. He finds a knife in the kitchen and starts to slice along his body, and you're wondering, Well, hm. What's he doing there? Then again, we have a full on effects and gore shot that doesn't cut away of Meat Loaf pulling his skin off, over his head like a t-shirt. Ew, ew, ew, ew, EW.

6. Shanna rips her hand off in the elevator doors. In the same scene, Meat Loaf chases Shanna to the elevator of her apartment building. Trying to get away from him, she gets her hand caught in the elevator doors as they are closing. Somehow (I'm thinking this is not very possible) she just rips her hand off, leaving behind the bloodiest crime scene ever. The CSI team is in for a long night.

So there you have it, the gore highlights of Pelts, on my list as one of the best gorefests (at least, from what I've seen so far) out there.

Did you notice how everybody's death has got something to do with what they do to the raccoons? The baseball bat to bash their skulls and kill them; the trap to catch them; the scissors to cut the pelts once they're dried; and the needle and thread to sew the coat together. Meat Loaf skinning himself is obviously with how they skin the newly killed animals and Shanna getting her hand caught in the elevator and ripping it off is reminiscent of animals chewing off their own limbs to get out of a trap. Clever, screenwriters. Clever. I like it.

Side note: Haven't seen all of the Masters of Horror episodes yet, but so far my top three are Pelts, Incident On and Off a Mountain Road, and Cigarette Burns.