Graboid Week: Tremors 4: The Legend Begins (2004)

The legend begins and the series ends! Thank you! Because this frankly unnecessary fourth chapter in the Tremors Book of Awesomeness simply does not live up to the rest of the films, especially the first one.

The end of the Graboids: It's 1889 in the town of Rejection, Nevada, and the town's only lifeblood is the nearby silver mine. When several workers are killed by an unseen beast and the mine closes, the owner, Hiram Gummer (Michael Gross), comes from Philadelphia to check things out. New graboids have hatched and the people of Rejection vow to fight them off rather than leave their town.

Oh, Tremors 4, where did you go wrong? Well for one thing, you're BORING. Bo-ring. There are way too many lulls in action throughout the entire movie and not enough freaking graboid action! I had to watch this movie again in about three sittings because it couldn't hold my interest enough for the duration. There's a little bit of action, then a 20 minute lull, then a bit more action, then a lull... blah blah blah.

Michael Gross takes an interesting turn with his new character of the snooty mine owner who is completely out of place in the Wild West. His dialogue is still rather funny, but nothing laugh-out-loud. All the other main characters are nothing special, although it's nice to see that one guy who played Randolph in Free Willy. Remember him? He plays Tecopa, the Native American who tells his ancestors' legends of beasts in the dirt. How convenient.

The only other character of note is Black Hand Kelly, the outlaw gunfighter Hiram brings in to help fight the graboids. He has a few nice moments, especially when he's trying to teach Hiram how to shoot a gun, but he's soon eatted up by a big ole graboid...  and you wonder why he was even there in the first place. His death is one of the few in the entire movie, which is kind of a disappointment. You'd think with all the people just walking around like they do that some unlucky soul would fall prey to the worms, but - and sorry to spoil the ending - all the main characters survive. They could have at least had one dramatic death to shake things up a bit, like Walter in the first movie, but not so much.

The acting is actually not terrible and thankfully never steeps into the cheesiness it comes so close to. This is a nice testament to both the writers and the actors and how they manage to keep the seriousness of the movies alive, despite their fantastical and potentially cheesy nature. The first movie wasn't really that much of a success financially and only gained its cult status through VHS sales and later on, through its numerous runs on television. It is much beloved by fans and the fact that it even had any sequels, much less three, shows that the filmmakers made them to satisfy the fans and didn't want to do wrong by them.

The mechanical graboids are back, people! But first we get to see them as cute little baby graboids that attack Hiram and the miners' camp near the mine. They're about two feet long and can come flying out of the dirt to bite people's heads off or in a coordinated effort pull people under the ground. The big daddy graboids they grow up to be look pretty awesome, especially when we get to see two of them come out of the ground at the same time. No CGI for these dudes, and you know that's how I like it. They look just as good as they did in the first film, orange mucus-y blood and all.

At the end, all three graboids are disposed of rather quickly and without much fanfare. The residents agree not to ever tell anyone about the "dirt dragons," which explains how since this is a prequel that there aren't any records of them like it was established in the first movie. The town's name is changed to Perfection, and everyone lives happily ever after. HO HUM.

Like I said, not as cool as the other movies. It's nice to see the graboids as babies and all, and Michael Gross provides a nice thread throughout the films, but this one was too slow and the comedy that gave the first movie its real charm just wasn't there. See it once just to see it, maybe, but don't expect much.

I could do a short review of the Tremors television series, but I am not THAT much of a dork, thank you very much. Plus, I've never seen any of the episodes and I don't want to go looking for them. Anybody seen them? Are they any good?

Graboid Week: Tremors 3: Back to Perfection (2001)

Two down, two to go. As the title says, Tremors 3, the third installment of this monsterifically comedic series brings us back to the little desert town known as Perfection (always loved the  name, BTW) where the residents must once again fight off an invasion of the ancient graboid monsters.

Fans of the series will be ecstatic to see a lot of memorable faces from the first Tremors film - played by all the same actors - Burt (of course), Miguel, Nancy and Mindy, and Melvin, as well as a new proprietor of the grocery store, Jodi, who I'm thinking may be Walter Chang's granddaughter or something. I love that all these actors came back 11 years later for a straight-to-video sequel of a little monster movie. Shows they knew how popular and loved the series was and that they were willing to keep it that way.

It feels like this movie should be the concluding chapter of a trilogy with all the references to both the first and second movie. Perfection has become the Home of the Graboid with new tourists attractions and souvenirs at Chang's Market. The characters use a lot of the same techniques to fight the graboids and a cute little reference is made about the low-tech effects of a graboid heading toward people - dust blowing up and wooden fence posts being knocked down one by one. This happens during a tourist trap theme ride through Perfection Valley run by the very annoying Jack Sawyer.

The writers actually seemed to care enough about the "integrity" of the series to logically move this next movie forward in terms of the lore of the graboids and add in lots of fun new stuff about the new mutation the graboids take on. So their life cycle goes like this apparently: they go from graboid, to shrieker, to ass blaster, back to graboid. They lay dormant in their eggs for at least 300 years (???) before they grow up and wreak havoc.

Now these new mutants, the ass blasters (cleverly named by Jodi), have some interesting stuff going on. They can fly, they have flammable acids in their bodies, if they eat enough they go into a food coma, and they shoot off like rockets when flames come out of their butt. Gives 'em quite an edge but also makes them vulnerable to flaming arrows shot out of a quickly crafted potato gun. Good to know.

The thing I keep saying I love about the original movie was the use of a real mechanical graboid to interact with the actors, but for this movie the filmmakers seem to have forgotten how cool that was because nearly all the effects are CGI. Of course with flying ass blasters and stuff it would be almost impossible to do mechanical effects but most of the actual graboids are CG as well. It's neat to see the main graboid - a sterile albino dubbed "El Blanco" by Miguel - sort of undulating as he's eating someone or something but it just doesn't feel the same. It's too obvious and doesn't bring the same kind of realness that the other films had.

But this sequel isn't too bad. It moves faster than the second film and tries as hard as it can to be funny and ironic in some instances - and for the most part succeeds. I like the new character of Jodi, she's just as lovable and funny as Walter Chang and measures up well against Burt, who is funny simply because of who he is. And he gets a very cool little scene when he gets eatted up by a graboid while hiding in a barrel, and must be cut out of its stomach by Jack - with a chain saw. Awwwwwesome.

The sequence in the junk yard where Burt, Jack and Jodi take out the ass blasters with the aforementioned potato gun is well done. It also ends nicely when they force El Blanco into cannibalism by making him eat the last ass blaster. Gotta do what you gotta do.

At the end, El Blanco becomes Perfection's pet, kept around by the residents to prevent Melvin and his real estate company from building condos or whatever and "eminent domaning" them off of their property. I don't see this working out too well in the long run, but I wish them the best of luck. All in all, I'd say the series is still fairly strong with this installment. It's a quick, fun, and interesting monster movie that's loyal to the series - taking it as seriously as possible and bringing something new to the lore of the graboid. I don't hate it, I really don't. I'd still rather watch the first one, though, that goes without saying. You just can't beat that awesomeness.  

Also, R.I.P. Miguel! Not cool, filmmakers, not cool at all. Miguel was awesome. And when I can go see the Siegfried and Roy show with the live ass blaster?! Anybody got word on that? Free tickets or something?

Graboid Week: Tremors 2: Aftershocks (1996)

Ah, Tremors 2. The beginning of the straight-to-video Tremors sequels brings us a new location, new graboids, new wit, and a new bromance love interest for Earl Bassett. It's not as good as the first film, but this sequel from 1996 (damn, I never realized there was such a gap between the two) is actually quite good.

They're back!: Graboids have been attacking people at an oil refinery in Mexico and Earl and the new guy, Grady Hoover, are brought in to eliminate the creatures for a big payday. Things seem to go alright for the monster hunters at first until the graboids reveal that they've got something new up their sleeves.

The movie starts off in a fun way with the reluctant Earl going down to Mexico with the overzealous fan Grady as his sidekick. In the first movie, there were only four graboids total that had to be dealt with, but the numbers have grown exponentially in the second film. There are some funny montages of the buddies blasting away at several graboids with a very cool weapon - dynamite attached to remote-controlled cars.

Unfortunately, it's almost an hour before the movie decides to up the ante with the graboids. Michael Gross shows up first and brings his comedic genius back to the role of Burt Gummer, who is still just as prepared as ever for World War 3. Nice to have you back, sir, truly. Anyway, his return helps stop the film from slowing down completely before the new twist on the movie shows up at about exactly hour one. That'd be my only complaint about the movie is that it takes a little too long to get to the new action. This is a sequel, you know, so something different has GOT to happen.

Things get interesting when Earl and Grady run into one of the creatures that's acting all sluggish and making weird noises. Hmm, what's going on? Turns out the big bastards have EVOLVED. One worm can morph into three cute little graboid-like bipeds with frog legs. The absolute funniest part of the movie is when Burt returns to the refinery after being ambushed by dozens of the creatures and gives a hilarious monologue about how he was able to fend them off. I would include it verbatim here, but that means I'd have to go back and find it on my DVD and type it all out and stuff, and I can't do that right now because my pizza is getting cold.

Don't you just love the hi-techness of the seismographs they use? A blue screen with a little square icon for Grady and Earl's truck and a red oval shaped icon for the graboids. And it does that fast beeping thing when a graboid gets nearby. Whoa, dudes, that's up there in the technology field. Impressive.

That was my sarcastic voice, in case you didn't catch that.

Speaking of technology, how 'bout those graboids! Again, in the effects department the Tremors movies do okay. There's a bit more CGI here than the first film but only when the graboid-babies have to do acrobatic shit like hop on each other's backs and stuff. Oh, and the running. They run like raptors, did you notice that? And raptors are scary so that helps in making the graboid-babies a little freakier too. It also helps to show one of them chowing down on Julio's freaking LEG while Kate helplessly watches through the window. Yuck.

There was evidence of a budding romance between Rhonda and Val in the first film, confirmed at the end when they have their big, smoochy kiss, and confirmed again when Earl mentions in Tremors 2 that they got married. Seems Earl was left out of the love loop, which is sad. What, the older guy can't get the girls? Only the cute and funny friend? However, his chance comes around in the sequel when Kate Riley, the oil company's geologist, is introduced. Another woman in the role of the scientific expert. I like it. Kate's a cool woman whom Earl immediately likes and Kate likes back. There's a great scene where the two of them surreptitiously check out each other's butts. That's true love, y'all.

Oh, oh! I just remembered! The graboid-babies are dubbed "shriekers" in the third movie. That was bugging me all day. I like "graboid-babies" better, though. Makes them sound cuter, which they kinda are.

Anyway. So there's some graboids, some graboid-baby births, some exploding graboid-babies, some more games of rock-paper-scissors, and one big ass oil refinery explosion at the end. Not a bad follow-up to the highly popular creature feature from ye olde 1990 that manages to continue the story along and keep all the elements about the original that we loved so much. One and a half thumbs up.