Movie Review: Mama (2013)

Seriously, does anybody know what "scary" means anymore? Or do I just believe in a different definition of the word? I loves me my little Guillermo Del Toro but some of the stuff he has been involved in lately have been real disappointments, Mama being one of them. I really wanted something truly creepy with this one, perhaps a la The Devil's Backbone, and many reviews promised me that my wish would come true. Sadly, Mama left me only bored and, again, disappointed with this ghost movie, when the mere mention of ghosts should have been enough to make me happy.

In Mama, two young girls who were abandoned at a remote cabin by their father after he shot their mother are found five years later by the girls' uncle. Almost feral, the girls are sent to live with their uncle Lucas and his girlfriend Annabel while continuing to be under the care of a psychiatrist. But the girls did not come back alone, as they are followed by a mysterious entity who took care of them in the woods - someone(thing) they simply call "Mama."

So maybe the main problem I had with Mama did not come from the movie itself but rather from me. Maybe I'm just a cold-hearted bitch but all the talk about how this movie was so emotionally heartbreaking and sad was completely lost on me. If it was supposed to be about the deep bond between mother and child, it was a failure at getting to me. And yes, I do have a mother. But she is not a scary ghost who lives in the walls so excuse me for not making any connection to my real life.

I totally got the parallel between the grieving, desperate mother (Mama) versus the reluctant mother (Annabel). But was I seriously supposed to sympathize with either of these characters? I felt a little bit for Annabel, whom we learn right away does not want to be a mother just yet - i.e. her relief over the negative pregnancy test - because I have no desire to be mother either. And if I were asked to suddenly take on not only two mostly grown children but also children with serious issues, I would not be so happy about it, like Annabel. I do think that it would have helped the story if she had warmed up to Lilly and Victoria a little bit sooner because she was terribly unlikable for a good chunk of the movie. She was kind of a bitch, really.

I never sympathized with Mama herself either because really, why should I? Not just because she was a big, freaky, body-contorting ghost that at least Victoria seemed more than a little terrified of, but also there was nothing in her story that made me care all that much about her. All I know was that she was a crazy woman who ran away from an asylum and then jumped off a cliff with her infant in her arms. Awesome mother right there, for sure. She was sad about losing her baby? She. Jumped. Off. A. Cliff. With her baby. She is not better than any other mother who loses her child to horrible circumstance - she was the cause of it. Sure, Mama served as Lilly and Victoria's protectors during those five long years in the cabin (and saved Victoria from being shot in the head) but this only made her more dangerous. She felt that the girls belonged to her, and therefore killed anyone who threatened her, and... well, she did that whole thing at the end which I (surprisingly) will not spoil. And you want me to get all emotional over this??? No. I'm sorry, but no. Please get rid of the floaty, murderous ghost.

Another problem I had with Mama was what I saw to be a real lack of exposition scenes. Most of the time it seemed like they were trying to get through some scenes or plot points as quick as possible so that they could get to the next scary scene. Luke falls down the stairs and is in a coma - two minutes, then boom, bring out Mama again to try to scare us. Annabel never visits Luke in the hospital again? Never sheds any tears or shows any worry at all that the man she loves is in a freaking coma? And while we're on the subject of things that were missing from the story, this might be a little nitpick, but where was the therapy and treatment for Lilly and Victoria after they went home? Lilly was still crawling around on all fours eating bugs. She obviously needed intense treatment and help from a professional but is sent to live with two people with no experience with children after only 87 days. Victoria is hypnotized and interviewed by Dr. Dreyfuss several times when his only concern is with Mama and not with helping these girls get back to normal life.  

Okay, now about the scary thing. Mama was not the least bit scary or creepy. One scene, one little scene only was good but the rest was simply cheap jump scares that never made me jump. Big CGI-Mama spent way too much time in front of the camera, showing us all the cool ghost-type things she could do. I hate to constantly play the old school card, but it is still true that what is not seen is often scarier than what is seen. Mama lost all her mystery too early on in the film so that every time she rushes the camera all fast or something, the scare was a flop. And giving us one scare after another doesn't work either. You need suspense-building scenes in between them, and Mama had no suspense to speak of. The one good scene I will mention is when Lilly is playing in her room and someone whom we're supposed to assume is Victoria starts playing blanket tug-of-war with her off camera. They show Annabel walking around the hall with a laundry basket, and then Victoria comes out of a room down the hall too - all while someone(thing) is pulling on Lilly's blanket. That was well played and a little creepy, even though they might have let it go on too long. Also, moths are not scary. Just sayin'.

Mama is not a movie that I hated or one that I thought was technically bad in any way - besides the CGI overuse - it is just another one that fell terribly short of my expectations. Perhaps other viewers in a different frame of mind than I am were able to enjoy and get invested in the story, but this girl who loves horror saw nothing that she loved in Mama.

Similarly Titled Films: Orphan and The Orphanage

Out of ideas for a creepy horror movie? Usually, all you have to do is add a creepy little kid and you're set. And there's no shortage of creepy kids in both of the above mentioned films, Orphan and The Orphanage. Thematically and stylistically, the films couldn't be more different - one is a thriller and the other is a ghost story - but both films are fantastic.

"I totally figured out Esther's secret before it was revealed."

Bullcheese. Anybody who says that is lying like a lawyer. If you really and truly did figure it out, kudos to you. But you missed out on all the fun of watching the film for the first time. I never figured out Esther's secret, and I think the filmmakers were banking on no one else knowing it either. Perhaps they watch more episodes of DiscoveryHealth than the rest of us. The fun of the movie is based entirely on wondering what the crap is up with this freakishly knowledgeable 9-year-old. Is she a Damien-like evil? A Good Son-like evil? Is she a witch? Is it supernatural at all?

In Orphan, Peter Sarsgaard and Vera Farmiga have just lost their third baby and decide to fill the void by adopting. On Meet-an-Orphan Day, they come across Esther, the shy one who stays away from everybody. "I guess I'm just different." Yes, well, that's one way of putting it. Weird accidents happen when Esther's around and she develops a fascination with Peter Sarsgaard (who wouldn't??!!) whilst driving Vera Farmiga crazy. Esther is even evil enough to make the little deaf girl her cohort in crime, but what is her ultimate goal? Who is Esther, really? And what the fuck is her secret??

The film is executed extremely well, more so than I expected. I thought it was going to be another run-of-the-mill thriller with nothing really special going on. I was wrong. A brutal murder, a burning tree house, a freak-out in the bathroom, a little girl that was waaaay too manipulative to be real all come together in a unique and chilling way. The addition of the little deaf girl, Max, was an interesting choice, but helped in making Esther appear more sinister. Max's brother, Daniel, obviously loves his sister even though he doesn't know sign language all that well. Esther either already knew it or picks up on quickly because she uses it to pull helpless Max away from the rest of her family and keep Esther's secrets (but not her BIG secret).

The parents have their usual relationship problems, which Esther also exploits. The mother, Kate, is an alcoholic and has made mistakes with the children in the past. When Esther starts causing trouble, the father, John, has a hard time believing Kate and makes more rifts in their relationship. Why is it always the mother who knows the truth in these movies? Why is the father always so quick to disbelieve his wife? I've never seen a movie where it was the other way around. Anyway, it makes for good drama and moves the story along as Kate tries to delve into Esther's past and find out just what kind of monster they've brought into their home.

Creepy smart kids always seem to know how to play piano.

You can't talk about this movie without mentioning the performance of Isabelle Fuhrman as Esther. She is wonderful, and I have yet to read anything that says otherwise. Her accent sounds a little funny, but she did the best she could. Her acting and facial expressions, however, are top notch and she truly acts more like an adult than a child. The other child actors were very impressive and worked well together in their scenes. I love me some Peter Sarsgaard and he does not disappoint as the father who makes all the wrong decisions and has himself and his family pay dearly for it. I'd never seen Vera Farmiga (at least, not that I recall) before Orphan and again, I was impressed. She carries the film well and I wouldn't mind seeing more of her as an actress.

Call it ludicrous or not scary enough, but I think Orphan is one good little thriller. I was genuinely shocked at some of the final actions (SPOILERS), like Daniel becoming seriously hurt in the tree house fire and Peter Sarsgaard getting his ass kicked by Esther (and dying!! I never thought she would actually kill him; that was a true surprise). The final fight scene is done pretty well, with an ironic death for Esther. Ironic, that is, for Kate, seeing as how she almost lost Max the same way once before.

I say two thumbs up. Enjoy the ride of this latest installment to the Killer/Evil Kid canon. It's not perfect, but not horrible either. A well done thriller with some great actions and twists.

Without a doubt, the more superior film is The Orphanage, a superb Spanish ghost story from producer Guillermo Del Toro. A fellow horror fan on another website recommended this fantastic flick to me and I am forever grateful to him, because I absolutely fell in love with The Orphanage from the very first frame.

Laura is moving her husband, Carlos, and adopted child, Simon, back into the orphanage she grew up in to make a home for handicapped children. Simon is an imaginative child whose has a penchant for creating imaginary friends. Soon he claims to have made five more friends in the house who like to play games with him. Simon goes missing on the day the handicapped children arrive for a party, and after months of no clues to his disappearance, Laura starts having supernatural experiences of her own, ignited even more by a visit from spiritual medium. And in order to find her son, she must play along and solve the mystery of the orphanage.

The Orphanage has so many amazing things going for it that I don't even know where to start. The atmosphere, the acting, the setting, the way all the clues and homages come together all just blow my mind. It's a ghost story and a mystery. It's scary and emotionally heart-wrenching. It's a spectacularly metaphorical tale of love and loss, but also of hope and dreams. The film is more like a fairy tale at times, making references to many kids' stories like Hansel and Gretel and Peter Pan. The most tension-filled and well-directed part of the film comes when Laura plays a game similar to Red Light, Green Light with the ghost children of her past.

Ghost Hunters International: We're ready to believe you!

Can I talk about this scene for a minute? And how it creeped me the fuck out? Okay. The first scene of the movie is of Laura as a little girl at the orphanage playing this game with the other children. When Laura must contact the children again as ghosts to find out where Simon is, she brings them out by playing the game in the house. Her back is turned to the rest of the room as she knocks on the wall the first time. The camera does not cut, but rather pans with Laura's turning of her head each time she repeats the phrase. Of course, you're expecting to see some creepy ghost children turn up and hoo doggy, do they turn up. This was the best scene of the movie and at first I thought it would have been creepy if we hear little kid's feet running or something, but I was wrong. There is almost no sound in this scene, therefore you don't know where the kids will be the next time she turns around or how close they will be to her, making it far more creepy and tense. A+ on this scene! I love it.

Anyway, like I was saying before, I pretty much love everything about this movie. It's a little long, and more drawn out in getting to its conclusion, but hopefully you stick around because it has one of the best and most heart-breaking conclusions of any film I've seen. Leading up to it is a compelling double-mystery around the orphanage, a woman who used to work there, and her son, whom Laura saw the day her own son disappeared and who she believes is responsible for what happened to him. Laura never gives up on solving the mystery either of her friends who died tragically after she left the orphanage, or her son. But it has been so many months, how is it possible that Laura will find Simon alive?

There is only the slightest touch of gore in The Orphanage, and it is a most memorable one. The strange woman who comes to visit Laura, Benigna, meets a most disgusting demise, that is grotesque in its imagery and also a huge loss for our heroine - as Benigna, was perhaps the one person who could tell Laura happened to her son. 

The cinematography is beautiful, with a greyish-blue tone throughout the film, similar to the uniforms worn by the orphans. Sound design is phenomenal and crucial to the success of some scenes. Sound always seems to be wickedly important in ghost films, but knowing how and when to use sound for the greatest effect is pretty much an art in and of itself. The progression of the story is quite impressive. Everything is set up in the beginning and some scenes and lines practically give the ending away, which makes the film perfect for a second or 274th viewing; not only because the movie rocks, but because you can pick up on the clues and gain more of an appreciation for the story. 

I need more than two thumbs to rate this movie. It is simply one of the best supernatural thriller-mystery dramas I have and will ever see. 

Book Review: The Strain

Whoa. Does that title say BOOK review? Yup, you better recognize. The Girl Who Loves Horror can also read. And she likes reading a lot. Lately she's been somewhat obsessed with the highly popular Swedish books, the Millennium series, which includes The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The Girl who Played with Fire, and The Girl who Kicked the Hornet's Nest. Yes, these are all awesome books that you should read right away, and no, the titles were not the inspiration for this blogger's name.

But I digress. This book review is about the first book in another trilogy, The Strain, co-authored by Chuck Hogan and Guillermo Del Toro. You know, that totally awesome movie producer/director who I am a little in love with can really spin a good yarn. Other novels that will follow in this series are The Fall and The Night Eternal.

The Strain is the tale of a coming apocalypse to the United States in the form of vampires unlike any we have ever seen or read about before. A plane landing at JFK literally goes dead on the tarmac, all but four of the passengers and crew are deceased and there is a strange coffin full of dirt in the cargo hold not listed on the manifest. Dr. Ephraim Goodweather, a viral expert from the CDC, and Nora, his co-worker (and woman he's become rather close to after being separated from his wife) are the heads of the investigation to find out what happened. But when the bodies of the deceased suddenly go missing and one survivor almost kills them, they realize that they have much more on their hands than a viral outbreak. A strange old man named Setrakian enters the mix, who seems to know exactly what's going on and how it will escalate. He has a long history with these creatures that the humans are turning into and this may be his one opportunity to destroy the thing that has plagued the darkness for centuries.

The Strain is a vampire book, but this is a truly unique take on the vampire lore. Some elements of the classic mythology are still there, but with a little twist, probably the biggest being that vampirism is treated much more like a virus or parasite that progresses in stages and physically mutates the infected. Nods to the magnum opus of vampire fiction, Dracula, are present. The plane, for instance, is parallel to how Dracula arrived in London aboard a ship - in a coffin of dirt, feeding on the crew members. You can still identify a vamp with a mirror, but in The Strain their reflections appear shaky in the mirror rather than having no reflection at all.

A pretty good rendering of what I imagined the vampires to look like.

The physical look of the vampire in this novel is also drastically different than what has been seen before (aside from the assorted vampire-beasts in movies like From Dusk Till Dawn). Pale, yes, and dirty from sleeping in the dirt but no fangs. Nope, the twin fangs of a traditional vampire have been replaced by a stinger that protrudes from the mouth, underneath the tongue. The jaw hyper-extends and the stinger slithers out, attacking the neck region in order to infect the victim's bloodstream more directly. Because even when a vampire has been beheaded (the preferred form of extermination in this novel) there are still little wriggling parasitic worms in their blood which must be burned by a UV lamp.

The old professor-turned-New York City pawnbroker Setrakian mentions the various stages that the vampires go through after their initial infection. Each day they mutate more, becoming more strong and even losing their vital organs and sex organs, as they are not needed. I'm guessing that the regular vampires all end up looking something like the Master vampire, but perhaps we won't truly find out until the sequel comes out in October.

You rule, buddy.

All in all, I rather enjoyed the book. There are some cliche characters, like Eph's ex-wife's new hubby being the unbelieving loser who by default gets everyone else in trouble. Besides Eph, Nora, and Setrakian, another person to join the vampire hunting team is an exterminator named Vasily Fet (where the hell did they come up with these names?). Fet's character makes sense for the story, though; it's something I wouldn't have thought of that pertains to vampires. Fet figures out that there is something going on in the city from the strange behavior of the rats, which, again, makes sense for the story, seeing as how the vampires must hide underground to avoid sunlight. He is a funny character who is accepting of the others in the novel and seems to be fiercely loyal to these people he just met.

The main character Eph, has had family problems in the past, which includes long hours from his demanding job and alcoholism. His adolescent son Zack is his life and is most likely the motivating factor behind his determination to end the vampire plague. Other characters are introduced that won't pop up again until the sequel, when we'll finally see what their importance to the vampires is.

Oh, so that's Chuck Hogan.

This novel is only a part of what will be a much larger and drawn out story, but it has interested me enough to find out how the final battle will take place and who will come out on top. Anyone who knows my taste knows that I have somewhat of an aversion to vampire stories (aside from Buffy and Angel) but this one was quite interesting to read. The vampires are a disgusting plague that turn their victims into something that resembles both vampires and zombies, really. They are not beautiful, sparkly, or romantic, but rather revolting and violent.

There are hints of a big war in the coming books. The Master that arrives on the plane in NYC is only one of seven ancient master vampires still around, three of which are already in the New World (i.e. maybe next door to you!). This master that entered the US was supposed to stay in the Old World, which angers the three ancients. How will this tiny team of vampire hunters take on ancient evil vampires? Guess we'll have to see...

Sidenote for book geeks: The new dimensions on paperback novels suck. They may look skinnier but are actually only bigger length-wise, about an extra half inch tall. This is supposed to help save paper, but if that's the truth, why did they jack the price up $3? Paperback prices used to be $6.99 or $7.99; now the average price I'm seeing is $9.99. Not happy about that.