Movie Review: Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)

 

I avoided Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters for a long time because of certain preconceived notions that the title alone brought up. I likened it to the Underworld series, which I am not a fan of, and expected moronic action that would only make me mad to watch. Now I admit to being wrong. Hansel and Gretel is for sure no cinematic masterpiece, but, holy crap, is it a good time. I dig it.

As children, Hansel and Gretel became known for killing the witch who tried to cook them. Now the siblings have grown up to become professional witch hunters, using their hatred and some nifty weapons to take out witches all over the place. They face one of their toughest and most personal battles ever when evil witch Muriel plans a dangerous Sabbath ritual that means danger for them all.

The wiki entry for Hansel and Gretel best describes the movie and what I think is the general consensus about it - "unpretentiously entertaining." This is a movie that doesn't care about being anything other than a fun romp that doesn't take itself even the least bit seriously. When done the right way, a movie with this attitude can be a huge success, especially when it is backed up by some fun action gags and decent enough story that at least keeps things moving. Some stuff was obviously filmed specifically for the 3D aspect (hate that), but it's not too much and doesn't distract.

The casting leaves a little to be desired in some roles. Jeremy Renner is actually pretty perfect as the often sour-faced Hansel who doesn't like to dwell on the past. Famke Janssen, one of my favorite actresses, portrays Muriel in a beautifully joyous way, and Peter Stormare as the sheriff is always awesome to see no matter what he does. The only person that brings down the cast a bit is Gemma Arterton as Gretel. She's cute and all, but I just didn't feel anything from her. Her performance is flat - the troll Edward shows more emotion than this girl. I didn't learn until after watching the film that writer/director Tommy Wirkola was also responsible for Dead Snow, one of my favorite films of recent years, and its sequel, which I'm still anxiously waiting to see. He brought the same sense of fun to Hansel and Gretel that he did to Dead Snow, and brought out the right attitude in the actors.

The thing that I usually hate about movies like this was the very thing that made me laugh most of the way through it. Anachronisms abound in Hansel and Gretel; most of them have to do with the look of the film and the weapons the witch hunters use, and some of them are used to get a laugh out of the audience. I loved the deal with the milk bottles with drawings of missing children tied to them and the fanboy Benjamin's book of clippings about Hansel and Gretel's witch hunting exploits. The weapons are beyond unbelievable for the time period - shotguns, a Gatling gun, Gretel's crazy machine gun-like crossbow, etc. - but most of the action sequences would have been nothing without them. The fashions are also completely out there... though I did sort of love Hansel's coat with the cool tiered shoulders.

The CGI effects are obvious, but not unbearably so. The CGI blood makes the kills feel a bit tamer and PG-13, though, so some cool kills are left feeling a little less cool and not as hardcore. At the same time, this is exactly what I was expecting and I wasn't that disappointed with what I got. There's a guy exploding in a bar, the Sabbath massacre, and probably my favorite part - the troll head-smashing sequence. So sad about Stormare, but he went out in an awesome way.

A very surprising thumbs up for a movie I wasn't expecting to like at all! Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters is simply a good time all around, a movie with a good sense of humor and unpretentious understanding of what it is. Bring on Part 2!

Movie Review: 100 Feet (2008)

I first saw 100 Feet quite a while ago and never got around to reviewing it here, even though I liked it very much. And maybe I shouldn't like it as much as I do, with all the numerous nitpicky problems that other reviewers have with it, but fuck it. Sometimes certain elements of a movie are good enough to let you overlook obvious flaws, and the performances and specific scenes are enough to make me totally love 100 Feet.

Marnie Watson has just been released from jail after murdering her abusive cop husband in self defense. Now under house arrest for the rest of her sentence, Marnie is forced to live in the same home where the murder took place - and where her dead husband has now become a violent and malevolent ghost, hell-bent on revenge.

This movie was not only written by the incredible Eric Red, but also directed by him as well. The guy behind such amazing films as The Hitcher and Near Dark can't possibly give us a miss with this movie, can he? I don't think he does. Maybe there are a few plot holes and maybe the special effects can be seen as extremely hokey and/or lame but let's forget about that for a minute and focus on what the movie gets right.

For me, Famke Janssen's performance as Marnie makes up for a good deal of the movie's faults. She is a fantastic and beautiful actress whom I have always loved, and she can easily hold her own against anything crazy that happens here and gives the movie believability and class. She's frightened, she's angry, and she's even slightly comedic at times - easily going along with the shift in tones that occurs. This role also calls for quite a bit of physicality with things that aren't there and it all looks pretty seamless to me, even if the ghost effects don't look as well done.

As it turns out, Michael (Marnie's husband) is not your typical movie ghost. A few creepy ghost-like things happen at first - candles re-lighting by themselves, footsteps and shadows - but the big reveal of the Michael ghost is fairly early on and what he looks like might not be to everyone's liking. After he's thrown Marnie down the stairs, he appears before her, fully formed, with a shaky, smoky, gray digital effect that seems ridiculous even to me at times. The effects during the climax when Michael is finally eradicated are also, admittedly, pretty freaking bad.

This ghost is also different in how completely cruel and violent he is towards Marnie. Sure, she killed him, but he beat the shit out of her for a long time and got away with it because he was a cop. As a ghost, Michael is perhaps more violent than he was in real life - throwing Marnie across the room several times and actually punching her in the face, something I don't usually think ghosts should be allowed to do. Down in the cellar, Marnie is even able to kick him in the face as well. She also gets dragged down the hallway by her hair, has plates and knickknacks and furniture thrown at her, and has Michael's ghostly arm pull her hand into a running garbage disposal.

There are several parts in 100 Feet where the special effects are freaking awesome. You can't watch this movie and not be completely shocked at the poor little grocery boy's demise. Young Joey has befriended Marnie, which pisses off her ghost husband. But he doesn't really lose it until the morning after Marnie and Joey have sex and he kills Joey in the most gruesome way. He punches him a dozen times, breaking his teeth and dislocating his jaw until the bones protrude from his cheek. Then he twists his wrist around, then both arms at the shoulders, then slams his head at the ceiling, breaking his neck. DUDE. Brutal. Completely and utterly brutal, and I loved it. The scene right after this when Joey's body falls through the floor is also unexpectedly hilarious.

Bobby Cannavale as Michael's old partner Shanks plays his role way too cliched as the cop with a bad attitude and his entire character almost brings the movie down. First he's openly angry at and hates Marnie for killing his partner, then in the next scene he's offering to protect her. This actor needs to get his shit together because there is not one thing I've seen him in where I believed even an ounce of his performance.

So putting aside the cheap effects and the plot holes (the biggest one being that the distance from the box to the front door is most definitely NOT 100 feet long), I can't help but have a strange attraction to this movie. The ghostly action is more intense than other haunting films and having Famke as the star gives it a big boost. I say give it a chance if you haven't and at least be prepared for something different and exciting, with a little bit of a comedic edge. But don't be expecting something scary or with the greatest effects.