Movie Review: Night of the Living Dead 3D (2006)

 

How can things go so wrong? I actually had some pretty high hopes for Night of the Living Dead 3D - the original is of course a seminal and wonderful film, and the remake from 1990 is equally great. So I picked up NOTLD3D at my last convention for a pretty cheap price (which I am now very grateful for) thinking that it couldn't be all that bad. I mean, it has Sid Haig in it, right? Welp, while Sid rocks the house like he always does, he's pretty much the only good thing about the movie.

NOTLD3D tells the classic story from the original film, and it has elements of both a reimagining and a meta-type horror film. Barb and her brother Johnny arrive at the Shady Rest Cemetery to attend their aunt's funeral, but are instead attacked by the living dead. Johnny escapes, and Barb is saved by a man named Ben, who takes her to the nearby house of some friends. The group holes up for night as they fight off the group of flesh-eating zombies.

I'm not the biggest fan of 3D in the first place. Sure, it's cool to look at for a while, but the novelty usually wears off pretty quickly once my eyes start to hurt and I can't see things as well. But, the DVD came with the glasses and I figured that if this was how the movie was supposed to be seen, then that's how I should see it. There are a couple of cool shots here and there that tripped me out, but for the most part, the 3D is unnecessary, like it always seems to be for me. I just can't get into it. I've tried and it hasn't worked. So there's that, unfortunately.

When talking about the story, again I have to ask - how could they have gotten things so wrong? The story is a simple one that has worked two times before and really doesn't need all that much tweaking. And for the most part, at least in the beginning, they don't really make any drastic changes for this version. Those come later when the explanation for the dead returning to life is completely different, and completely doesn't make any sense. Still, I really liked the not-subtle-at-all homages to the first film, which begin right off the bat when the original is playing on a television and the title credit turns into the title credit for this movie. If you're expecting to hear Johnny's famous line, it comes in the form of a text. Later on, when Barb gets to the farmhouse and starts talking about the dead coming back to life, she walks in on the family actually watching Night of the Living Dead on television. Of course, there's no acknowledgement about the fact that the characters have the same names as the people in the movie or that they are in the exact same situation, but I really didn't expect that anyway.

What I did expect, though, was at least some decent acting. Everyone in this movie just seems so uninterested and bored in what they are doing. While hearing a bunch of people shrieking and cursing during stressful scenes is admittedly not a lot of fun either, I see now that it is equally bad to have people acting way too calmly. How many times do these stoners just languish around while there is something serious going on? Or have perfectly normal and calm conversations at a time when nobody, least of all the audience, gives a fuck? When Karen goes missing, her father is barely able to puke out enough emotion for us to believe it. One of the greatest characters in horror ever, Ben, has been replaced by a motorcycle-riding loser who isn't nearly as authoritative or brave as Duane Jones or Tony Todd made him. On the flip side, Barb is more of a heroine, but not by much, and there is nothing interesting or endearing about her character. I really couldn't believe how wooden and boring everyone was, and their poor acting completely ruined any scene that had any potential to be exciting or scary.

Sid Haig is the biggest selling point of the movie, and while I enjoyed him like always, he's not a good enough reason to put yourself through this movie. He's the crazy mortician who has a problem with burning up dead bodies in his daddy's crematorium, so he's just been storing them for the past two years. Somehow, that translates into said bodies reanimating themselves. Don't ask me how. The makeup effects are okay, but I really hated the cartoony or comic booky look of the zombies. Tovar's father was the worst, all green and way too fleshy. There are not nearly enough good zombie kills, and I was severely disappointed in the gore factor for this movie. Maybe the best and stupidest part is when Barb lights Tovar's father on fire. Just because fire is cool.

With only ten minutes or so left to go on this movie, my scratched DVD started skipping around a bit so I didn't get to see all of the climax, but I got most of it. It wasn't any better than the rest of the movie. It's almost unwatchable and more than forgettable, not nearly on par with the original or the remake.

Movie Review: City of the Living Dead (1980)

 

It is good to be acquainted with you again, Mr. Fulci. I believe we last visited during my viewing of The Black Cat, which was okay but not necessarily my favorite of your work (thus far, that is). It was certainly no House by the Cemetery, tell you what! I bumped City of the Living Dead up my queue recently because I was jonesing for what I hoped the movie would be.

A priest's suicide in a cemetery in the small town of Dunwich causes the gates of Hell to open, and the recently dead to come back as horrid zombies. At the same time, a psychic in New York named Mary has a vision of these events and together with a newspaper reporter, they travel to Dunwich to close the gates of Hell before All Saints' Day, lest the dead never be free to rest peacefully.

So this is most definitely an odd one. Fulci somehow takes a zombie story and mixes it with elements of the supernatural - which shouldn't actually be that much of a stretch, but it is when you handle it this way. There's the obvious psychic connection to the other world with the character of Mary, but a lot of other random weirdness happens here. A bar is destroyed by something unseen. The living dead disappear and reappear seemingly at will, and seem to have a strange hypnotic power. Oh yes, we will be talking more about THAT element of the story later. Could some of this have to do with the fact that the ancestors of Dunwich burned women accused of witchcraft during the Salem trials? Is it a curse? I don't know, maybe. This is an approach to the zombie genre that I haven't seen before, and I'm not entirely sure if it works or not, in a long term sense. But for this one movie, Fulci at least makes it entertaining, even if there isn't much sense to be had.

It's really all in the presentation, really. The way Fulci introduces the story is at times confusing. Transitions between locations and scenes are often unclear, and new character after new character are introduced with hardly an introduction. Eventually there comes to be a core four that make up the main cast - Peter the reporter, Mary the psychic, and Dunwich residents Gerry and Sandra (he's a psychiatrist, she's his patient). It is up to the audience to figure out that the other people that are randomly introduced are just other people in Dunwich that aren't really that important. Probably the weirdest side character and side plot is that of Bob, who has some kind of bad reputation among the locals because of his relationships with ladies - possibly criminal? Again, I don't know, and it doesn't have anything to do with zombies so who cares.

City of the Living Dead is certainly memorable in the gross-out and kill departments. Of course I almost vomited myself during the scene where a young woman is zombie-hypnotized by the dead priest. She first starts to bleed from her eyes, which was gross enough, but then comes the infamous part where she pukes up her internal organs. As a horror fan, I fucking loved that. Genius. My gag reflex, however, did not enjoy it so much, but that was probably the point, amirite? There are a lot of other great gags in the movie besides this one, too. My favorite was actually Bob's death by a drill through the head. There was really beautiful, seamless effects work on that one, and I loved how they showed it pretty much uncut. Also awesome were the couple of times when zombies would just rip off the backs of peoples' heads, skull and all - pretty effortlessly, I might add. I'm jealous of their hand strength. Strange as it was, the randomness of the maelstrom of maggots that come flying through the window was also... interesting.

Couple other high points: the scene where Peter is freeing Mary from her coffin was hilarious. He had absolutely no regard for how hard he was swinging that pickaxe or where it happened to land on the coffin. Kind of strange, but great for a little tension even though it was comedic. I also dug the makeup on the zombies' faces, all gross flesh and wormy. For the finale, the group heads underground into the priest's crypt, and this was a cool location with awesome set design. During the burning sequence, though, there were a couple of wide shots that I could not figure out how they were possible because of the tightness of the location. Then the low point of the movie comes right at the end, when Mary and Gerry emerge from the crypt and John-John, the brother of a girl who turns into a zombie, comes running at them happily. For some unknown reason, they suddenly get scared and start screaming, and cracks appear on the screen and the movie is over and we are all left confused.

As for the rest of it, City of the Living Dead is a pretty badass outing from Fulci. I liked the different approach to the typical zombie story, and the gore was freaking amazing. This is one for fans not to miss, for sure.

Project Terrible: The Zombinator (2012)

 

I wasted a perfectly good free rental I had saved up at the video store for this dreck. My second Project Terrible film is The Zombinator, a film that I saw Maynard Morrissey review and thought that from the title, it sounded like it could be a stupid good time. I conveyed as much to him, not even thinking that he might give this to me as a PT film. I am stupid.

As the poster says, the movie starts out as a documentary as a small camera crew follows a fashion blogger in her Youngstown home. When she meets up with some friends at another mutual friend's wake, they are suddenly attacked by zombies - and are saved by a strange man who looks like the Terminator.

After a pretty good, albeit nonsensical, beginning, the movie's true origins soon start to show through as everything goes downhill quality-wise. The Zombinator was shot on a whim over the course of only four and a half days. The real kicker is that there was NO SCRIPT. I read this fact after watching the movie, and suddenly I knew why it sucked so hard. Once the zombies show up, the plot tries to go in a million different directions without any of them working. There are times where the plot comes to a complete standstill while the characters have a stupid-ass, unimportant conversation for five minutes. The whole movie is a shitty, convoluted mess of one random scene after another. And I hate movies like that.

I can't even comprehend some of the stupid stuff that was brought up in this movie. One character has a pet zebra??? Is that even legal? A guy daring another to lick smeared blood off of a concrete pillar? If there was no script, there should have at least been some talk beforehand about what would be the right things to talk about in certain given situations. Nope, didn't happen. The characters just ramble on and on and on without ever saying anything.

There are constant and annoying attempts at irreverent humor that never work. Even one character's line to the Zombinator about how he looks like the Terminator is just too obvious and stupid and wasn't funny at all. The Zombinator also has a stupid reference line to the kids: "If you want to live, listen to me." Ugh. The worst part of the movie is when the group running from the zombies ends up in the basement of an old Catholic school - where there just happens to be a group of paranormal investigators. There is a long, derivative and utterly unfunny scene between the two groups about how the ghost people don't believe in zombies, and there are two smoking priests... just another goddamn random scene that they put in to piss me off.

Even if what they have to say and do is ridiculous, the "actors" aren't really that bad - though it really, really pains me to say anything remotely positive about this movie. I'm not saying that they were great or anything, but they at least had pleasant speaking voices, which is about as nice as I'm going to get. There is no character development - hell, I don't even remember any of their names - and by the end of the movie, the plot forgets about most of them anyway, so why should the audience give a crap about them either? The titular Zombinator is exactly how you would expect him to be: looking and acting like Ahnold, so even he turns out to be pretty blah and cliché. They add in another antagonist in the character of the Colonel, played by Patrick Kilpatrick. Seriously, what did they blackmail this guy with to make him appear in the movie? His acting helps the movie a lot, but not much. I was pretty disappointed in him in the scene where the Colonel and the Zombinator have the weakest fight EVER; definitely not believable considering both of the characters are supposed to be military and ex-military.

If you think I was too nice to this movie, let me be clear - The Zombinator suuuuuuuuuuuuuccccccccckkkkkkkksssssssss. And they really shouldn't have expected any better reaction than that when there was clearly no thought process at all behind the making of the movie. I feel horrible even giving this piece of shit any kind of recognition of its existence so I'm ending the review now. Screw you, Zombinator.

Movie Review: 28 Days Later (2002)

 

28 Days Later is one of those films that I only remember watching once or twice, despite its immense popularity. Catching up on it now, it's still not exactly one of my favorites, but I can definitely see why people love it. Simple and inventive, 28 Days Later is a wonderful post-apocalypse story that is very effective, even despite some flaws.

A group of animal rights activists breaks into a research facility to rescue chimpanzees that are being experimented on, and unwittingly release a dangerous virus of pure rage onto the populace. Twenty-eight days later, four survivors navigate the desolate country, trying to find a safe place to stay.

One reason 28 Days Later is impressive is because at least most of the movie was shot on DV. More convenient than huge film cameras, director Danny Boyle used DV cams to achieve some of the shots that they needed to get quickly. There are many parts where the lesser quality hurts the movie, simply because DV will never look as beautiful as film. It's disappointing, but the style quality is there. There are many different locations over the course of the movie, and Boyle uses them all to their full potential both visually and emotionally. He makes a simple shot of a family of horses running through a field almost bring tears to the eye, and turns an elegant mansion into a creepy house of horrors. All the makeup effects are realistic and beautiful in their own way - I like the simplicity of the use of the scary red eyes on the infected.

Cillian Murphy is our mysterious leading man Jim, who is buck naked when we first meet him. There are some wonderful iconic shots of deserted London as Jim wanders around, not knowing what happened and looking for any other signs of life. Soon, he meets up with survivors Mark and Selena, and then later the core group becomes Jim, Selena, Frank, and his teenage daughter Hannah. Each character has qualities important to the story and traits that play off of each other. Frank plays as the father figure to them all, and Hannah is no useless little girl, as she is quite defiant and skillful. Cillian's gaunt body makes Jim look weak and in comparison to Selena, who saves him from a group of infected, he is. However, when he is put to the test by the military guys who threaten Selena and Hannah, Jim proves that he can be quite vicious and cunning, and then coming full circle back to the caring and sensitive guy he started out to be.

I've been thinking about doing a little thing on Unsung Heroines of Horror and if I did, Selena from 28 Days Later would most definitely be on the list. When Jim first meets her, she is very cold and unfeeling, constantly reminding Jim that she will let him and anybody else die if she has to, and only concentrating on surviving day to day. It's almost kind of annoying to me how rude and inhuman she is. When Frank and Hannah come into the mix, they truly affect her and her soft side comes out here and there. She's a badass when she needs to be - the best example is when she dispatches of her companion Mark with no hesitation after he's been infected.

One thing that is constantly brought up when talking about 28 Days Later is the debate over whether the film is a "zombie" film or an "infection" film. People seem to be pretty adamant one way or the other, but even after watching the film again, I can't make the call. It's obviously not a zombie film because the baddies are not zombies. There are no reanimated corpses or people rising out of graves. Though it is unclear how they kill, there is at least no talk of the eating of human flesh or brains. The people that call it a zombie film, though, still have the right to say so because the scenario is pretty well identical to a zombie apocalypse story. The baddies themselves might as well be zombies based on the way they act and the way the infection is spread. So I'm staying on the fence in this debate - whether you say "zombie film" or "infection film," I'd say you're essentially both right.

Possibly my favorite part of 28 Days Later is Frank's infection. It is the one part of the film that I have always remembered over the years simply because of how random, unlucky, and genius it was. A single drop of blood from a dead infected body falls into his eye - no attack, nothing violent, just really shitty luck. The infection's quick turnaround time hardly gives the audience time to mourn the loss of Frank, who is just one of those really good guys with a big heart. Frank's demise represents what I've always thought was the real bitch of zombie stories - you can fight hard and survive a long time, until a single bite, one wrong move, can suddenly be the end of it and there is no way to change it.

28 Days Later is not a personal favorite, but I can feel where the love is coming from. There is real talent behind the story, filmmaking, and acting - all three important components of a film coming together to create something that is a welcome addition to the horror and zombie (or infection) genre. Focusing more on morality and emotion than pure violence, 28 Days Later is definitely one that will be remembered for a long time.

Book Review: "One Undead Step" by Ian McClellan

When I first read the synopsis for One Undead Step, I was extremely intrigued and genuinely excited. Most of the recent horror novels that I have read have been about zombies, but this one definitely had the most unique idea that I had heard in a long time. I'm very proud and honored to have gotten the chance to experience this great zombie novel, and hope that author Ian McClellan has much more good stuff in store for horror fans.

The book follows a dual storyline: one with B-movie director Mark Matthews who is pulled out of a jail cell by the military to perform a very unusual task - direct a fake moon landing. Conspiracy theorists have saying for years that the first moon landing was faked, but One Undead Step actually proposes that the reason it was faked was to distract the populace from the fact that America was under attack by zombies. The other plot line follows a ragtag group of civilians - a bar owner, a suburban family, a couple of gangsters, some Army Rangers, and two town drunks - as they get caught up in the middle of the zombie apocalypse in an unknown American city. At first they just have to survive the night on their own, but they learn more about the truth of their situation, the group realizes that it is not just the zombie hoard that they have to live through.

Easily the most attractive aspect of the novel is the rich characters that McClellan has created. The main group is quite large, but each person is given different and distinct character traits so that the reader is never confused or overwhelmed. McClellan also does a wonderful job of giving each person a believable arc in the growth of their characters, as some of them start out very selfish or weak and then genuinely change as the story grows. As you come to know and love (almost) all of these people, the reader might forget what their inevitable fate probably is - if we're staying somewhat historically accurate, no one can really stick around to tell the world about the zombies. The demise of your favorite people are still shocking and hard to take, nonetheless.

It's easy to try to write a comedy, but it's really hard to write something that is genuinely funny. McClellan uses smart, sophisticated humor to help set off the true horror of what he puts his characters through. My favorite bit was about Neil Armstrong, who is actually not mentioned by name, and how he had to be the "star" of the movie and had to have the best line of the script - obviously, the "one small step for man..." famous quote. Hilarious! The "relationship" between Cedric and Gloria also brings about a lot of laughs, as does the inherently funny situation of a bunch of regular people forced to rely on some ruthless gangsters to survive.

The one thing that disappointed me with the story is that McClellan completely drops the dual storyline about halfway through. He focuses completely on the group fighting the zombies and does not even mention the moon filming until the other story is over. As this was the most unique aspect of the book, it was disappointing that the reader only gets a glimpse of that situation. Mark Matthews and General Baker were two more very interesting characters that I would have loved to spend more time with, but it just wasn't so.

I was also very confused at the inclusion of two random "Zombie Stories" after the epilogue. They were titled as chapters 15 and 19, so were they just pulled out of the middle of the book and put at the end? Why? It completely ruins the flow of the story and makes it seem like the zombie story of the novel actually continues after the end, when it was made pretty clear that it was eradicated completely. This was a mistake in my opinion; the book has a much stronger ending with just the epilogue.

However, I still give One Undead Step very high marks. McClellan truly has talent in this genre, as this book was a highly enjoyable, hilarious and, yes, beautifully gory zombie tale that is fast-paced and fun. Horror lovers will have a fantastic time with this story, which has vivid and rich descriptions of all the disgusting zombie stuff McClellan can come up with, and it is awesome to read every word. Don't miss out on this original tale of the undead!

Buy One Undead Step on Amazon here.

Book Review: "Zombie, Indiana" by Scott Kenemore

Zombie author Scott Kenemore continues to cut a swath of undead destruction through the American Midwest with this third novel in his "Zombie State" book series. Zombie, Indiana again takes readers to the capital of the titular state - this time Indianapolis - where we follow several different characters during the first 24 hours of a zombie outbreak. And even though this is his third book with the same basic storyline, Kenemore manages to again make things different and interesting by having the book take on the personality of the state itself.

Scott Kenemore - this man loves himself some zombies

The story starts when a high school class goes missing while touring some nearby caves. Special Sergeant with the Indianapolis Police Department James Nolan is called in to investigate because there was a very important person on that tour - the governor's teenage daughter, Madison. Nolan finds the class decimated by a zombie attack but does manage to save one survivor, 15-year-old Kesha Washington. Together, they escape the caves and search the surrounding area for Madison, avoiding zombies and people that wish to do them harm. Meanwhile, Governor Hank Burleson is obviously hiding something from the people of his state and those closest to him.

While Kenemore's first two Zombie State books (Zombie, Ohio and Zombie, Illinois) were at times literally laugh-out-loud funny, I found myself experiencing some different emotions with Zombie, Indiana - emotions one does not usually find in this kind of story. By the end of the novel, there is an undeniable feeling of hope and togetherness not only amongst the main characters, but also amongst the people of the whole state. I was actually made to believe that some good could come of a zombie apocalypse, and believe me, that was a welcome relief and change. When you are so used to zombie stories being about the evils of man in a societal breakdown, I loved reading a story with a more than positive ending, where good people still existed - existed, and prevailed.

This comes about not only through the characters of Nolan and Kesha but also through the people that they meet as they make their way to the heart of Indianapolis. The common theme with these strangers is that they are not at all how they first appear to be to Nolan and Kesha. The first people they meet instill a sense of foreboding for any future encounters - a blind farmer and his wife seem like the nicest and least threatening people you could hope to meet. But their religious zealotry and racist comments immediately put off our characters and they quickly get away from them. After that, though, the Hoosiers start to show us who they really are. Carnival workers, popular high school girls, and a motorcycle gang are all people who at first seem rather untrustworthy but prove themselves to be just the opposite.

Though Kenemore does give examples of bad people who take terrible advantage of the zombie outbreak to commit crime, they are not at the forefront of his story. Even the evil governor is in the minority, as the people around him actually want to help the people of Indiana, and are obviously reluctant to go along with his plan of "do nothing." I don't know much about Indiana myself (though I do have an aunt that lives in Indy) but Kenemore seems to want us to know that Hoosiers are honest, good people - the kind of people that you would want to rally together with during a zombie apocalypse, or any crisis really. Even when they find out that the governor has created a barricade around the capitol building that only protects a select few and doesn't let in the rest of the populace for protection, they do not immediately storm the place and cause chaos. They set up camp and wait for the  help that they are sure is coming, because the good in them makes them believe in the good of other people, even if they turn out to be wrong.

But if it's zombies you're really looking for, fear not. Readers are once again treated to several memorable scenes of zombie attacks and destruction in all new locations. Though I personally don't think he can top the awesomeness of the coal tunnel sequences in Zombie, Illinois, Kenemore tries by giving us a great introduction to the outbreak in the very cool location of an underground river in a cave where the high school students are taking a tour. I was disappointed that we didn't get to spend that much time here because the images coming to my mind through the descriptions were very creepy and unsettling. And again, all types of zombies make an appearance in Zombie, Indiana - from the blackened and disgusting bodies in the caves to even a little toddler zombie in a farmhouse. The author sure knows how to push the readers' buttons and show us things that we never wanted to see, if only in our minds.

Scott Kenemore has once again proven that he is an amazingly gifted writer who brings to the genre tales that are equally humorous and thought-provoking, gory and inspiring. Zombie, Indiana is just the latest in a string of highly entertaining zombie stories that every horror fan should get their hands on right away. It is a fast-paced novel with great characters and an even greater message. If Kenemore ends up writing 47 more books to cover every state in the union, I will gladly read every last word.


Zombie, Indiana will be available in May 2014.

Movie Review: Night of the Living Dead (1990)

There are lots of movies on my horror movie "must-see" list. The remake of George Romero's Night of the Living Dead was always on that list, moreso just in a completist way rather than something really mandatory. Well, I ended up being immensely surprised at Tom Savini's feature film debut as a director, not only for its respect of the original but also for its respect of the zombie movie in general.

The plot is basically the same and starts out with brother and sister duo Johnny and Barbara arriving at the cemetery to visit their father's grave when they are attacked by a strange, shambling man. Barbara escapes to a nearby farmhouse and there meets up with several other people. Together they all try to fortify the house and survive the night as the hordes of the reanimated dead gather outside.

I'm honestly really impressed with NOTLD90, and for several reasons. Despite the fact that it is almost a shot-for-shot retelling of the story from 1968, the remake feels fresh and new. Savini's directorial eye is different than Romero's - where Romero used lots of interesting angles and took advantage of the shadows created from using black and white photography, Savini's approach is rather simple. He doesn't detract from the action with crazy camera movements or anything, and instead just makes something that looks professional and well thought out with what's on screen. It's simply a good movie telling a good, simple story and the simplest stories are always the best to me.

Another reason for the remake's success is the casting. It was nice that they kept all of the original characters and, for most of them at least, their personality traits and relationships are the same. The only big change is the character of Barbara - the shock stricken mouse of the original is replaced by a woman who removes her emotions from the situation to truly take charge and kick ass. Veteran Tony Todd takes on the iconic role of Ben, a role he seems to have slipped into with real ease and grace. It helps that he does physically resemble Duane Jones but mostly it is Todd's take-charge demeanor coupled with his sympathy and genuine care for the other characters (eh, most of them anyway) that again makes Ben one of the best characters in horror history.

The other thing about the remake that I was pleased with was the tone of the film. Though the dialogue is at times overly crazy when the characters are fighting, it never once goes through your mind that this is a cheesy remake with no redeeming quality. NOTLD90 is serious as a heat attack throughout and it was something that I really enjoyed and appreciated. It would have been too easy to go the route of the zom-com with hysterical female characters and zombie jokes.

Roger Ebert and I don't usually agree on much but it seems in regard to NOTLD90 that we both had something to say about the ridiculous amount of hammering that occurs in the film. That's a nitpick, I know, but seriously, watch it again and really focus on the amount of time that almost all the actors spend hammering wood into the walls to barricade the windows. Move on to something else, please. Other than that, the only thing that slightly disappointed me was the fact that there was far less gore than I was expecting. Just slightly though, because again this lack of excessive bloodshed also helped in keeping the serious tone of the movie.

In a strange way, I did find myself missing the horrible and ironic ending of the original film when lone survivor Ben is mistaken for a zombie and shot. This is replaced by a scene just as poignant - when Barbara returns to the house to find Cooper alive and shoots him immediately, letting the good 'ol boys add him to the fire of other zombies outside. I loved how this was a nod to the beginning of Dawn of the Dead and didn't mind the change in ending one bit because it was the right ending for this version.

All in all, NOTLD90 is a very solid remake, one that makes changes in the right way and for the right reasons, while still keeping all the elements of the original that worked. It's a remake that should be mentioned more often as one of the most successful ones out there.




Also, did anyone else notice how strange it was that Barbara lost her glasses at the beginning of the movie but it never seemed to bother her the rest of the time? And that she was still a pretty good shot?Just food for thought.

Movie Review: A Little Bit Zombie (2012)

Ah, the zom-com. Seems to be more of them than you can shake a stick at these days, because well, zombies are cool. And people have been proving for years that zombies can also be awesomely funny which is what A Little Bit Zombie manages to do brilliantly.

Six days before their wedding, Steve and Tina take their matron of honor and best man to their family's cabin in the woods for a little R and R in preparation for the big day. Steve is nervous about the situation considering Tina's obsessiveness about the wedding, and the fact that she doesn't get along with his sister Sarah, the matron of honor. And all that is put to the test when Steve is bitten by a mosquito carrying a zombie virus. Somewhat resistant to the infection, Steve is still mostly human, but he can't feel pain and has an insatiable need for brains. Meanwhile, two zombie hunters find out about Steve's unique condition and while one wants to cure him, the other wants to see him dead.

What I liked the most about A Little Bit Zombie was that it found its own way, and never seemed like it was trying too much, if at all, to be like Shaun of the Dead or any other zom-com. There's a small Evil Dead homage in one scene, but for the most part this movie found its own plot line, its own gags, and its own sense of humor that I've never seen before. Their take on the zombie story is somewhat different in that our main character Steve only becomes a little bit zombie and doesn't really want to hurt anyone but finds out that he must feed on brains - fresh human brains - or he will deteriorate physically.

The acting is really what sells this ridiculous story, and at the risk of over-exaggerating, everybody was dynamo. My favorite characters were Max and Penny, the zombie hunter and scientist who drive around in an old camper and refer to a glowing orb to let them know when a zombie is around. Underused actor Stephen McHattie and relative unknown Emilie Ullerup play absolutely beautifully off of each other with wonderful comedic timing and physicality. McHattie loves the zombie killing and fuels up for the fight by chowing down on some "Tactical Bacon" - hilarious.  Ullerup is kind of a bumbling brainy type who tries to keep Max in line, but she's equally hilarious in her own way. The incredible campy-ness of the movie is given real credibility by the acting of McHattie and Ullerup, and by the rest of the actors as well. The characters of Craig and Tina are sometimes exaggerated in their reactions and dialogue but it's all part of the tone and feeling of the movie. They're all good enough that it never gets too cheesy, and there's also never any lulls in the established tone.

Even though this is a zombie movie, there is hardly any gore to talk about. And surprisingly, I didn't mind it one bit. Max gets things started off right at the beginning with a funny scene of him and Penelope taking care of some zombies at a sideshow carnival. After that, it's not until the end that you see more gore, but it's not zombie related. The stuff that is zombie related in the movie has more to do with the comedy element and they came up with some really good ideas here. There are some wonderful scenes where the group scours a local meat shop to by some brains for Steve; a scene where Steve goes off into the wilderness to catch him some animal brains - and fails; and a great part where the girls Tina and Sarah get all hooker-ed out to go to a bar and find a "bad person" that Steve could kill and eat his brains. One of my favorite things was how Steve would would drool every time somebody said the word "brains" - and not just a little dribble from the corner of his mouth, either, a full-on half a cup of spit would spew out. I really appreciated the ingenuity from the filmmakers to go a little outside the box from what other zombie movies do and take a different route.

The ending is a bit of a surprise and not where I expected it to go at all but it was still a good end to a great zombie movie. I think horror fans and zombie fans will be able to enjoy and also appreciate A Little Bit Zombie, even if it doesn't have your typical zombies actually in it. The movie is hilarious and fresh and I think it really brings something great to the zombie genre.

Movie Roundup: Just Some Random Stuff...

So despite my lack of posting lately, I have actually watched a bunch of movies, just never obviously got around to writing about them. I shall now do so in my Movie Roundup, Random Stuff edition!

Carrie (2013)

I was nervous as hell about what they would do to one of my favorite horror flicks, but as with all the remakes, I gave Carrie the benefit of the doubt. But... I fucking hated Carrie. There were some things that I was okay with - they changed the gym teacher's name back to Desjardin like in the book, added in Sue Snell's pregnancy, and did a nice job updating the flick to the modern day with the Internet video of Carrie's locker room humiliation. However, I was not sold on any of the performances. Though Chloe Moretz did her best, she just did not have the same feeling about her to make her as sympathetic or vulnerable as she should have been. I hated the scenes where Carrie was practicing her telekinesis because that totally went against who Carrie is supposed to be and the shock and redemption you're supposed to feel during the prom massacre. Moretz played Carrie too confident and rebellious against her mother. Julianne Moore was actually good casting, but I just could not get Piper Laurie out of my mind. That is one of my favorite performances ever, and I don't think anyone could have topped her. Sue and the rest of the girls were your basic stick-thin, pretty, popular bitches and they weren't memorable at all. The prom sequence was okay enough, but damn did I hate the deaths of Billy and Chris. The way her face was sticking out of the windshield? Ridiculous. 

One of the worst things about Carrie was that I went to see the movie with someone who had not seen the original before, and the remake was so bad that he said that he had no desire to see the original! I tried to tell him otherwise, and I only hope he listened. I tried not to compare the movie too much with the original while I was watching it, but with a film as big as Carrie and one that I admire so much, it was really hard not to be critical.

Curse of Chucky (2013)

I wrote a short post about how stoked I was for Curse of Chucky after seeing his new look for this sixth installment. For the most part, Don Mancini and crew did manage to take Chucky back to his scarier roots, however, I'm still not a big fan of the story they came up with. So Chucky is mad because a woman he kidnapped and whose husband he murdered called the police on him? Really? That's shocking! And it didn't really match up for me that this was the same night he transferred himself into the doll because where was his partner Eddie who left him? Not explained. As for the rest of the movie, I kinda dug it. It had a very old-school, old-dark-house feel to it with the location, and Chucky freaked me out just as much as he ever did in some specific scenes. Though his hair was a little too long, I was happy that they went back to Chucky's non-scarred look, and really disappointed when they brought the scars back again toward the end. Brad Dourif is fantastic as ever, and even gets some screen time himself during flashbacks. His daughter Fiona carries the film well as paraplegic Nica, and the other characters are fun and refreshing for the series. There's even some surprises that I never saw coming, and actually the whole plot was constructed in such a way that I never knew what direction they were going to go in. A very good installment for the series, and loads better than the atrocity that was Seed of Chucky. Here's hoping for more Child's Play fun in the future - and hopefully they'll actually put "Child's Play" in the title this time. I'm getting a little sick of this "of Chucky" crap.

How much did I love seeing the stuff with Andy at the end? A LOT, I tell you. A LOT.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1958)
There have been several adaptations of The Body Snatchers novel since 1955, and the only one I had seen was 2007's The Invasion which I don't even remember at all. Part of this 1958 version is very cool even by today's standards but I admit to getting a little bored toward the conclusion. I like how the film was introduced as a frame story; it gave good reason for the voice over and gave the audience some insights that they might not have had just from the plot itself. The effects work on the blanks and the pods was impressive, even that bubbly, sudsy effect, and a bit more gross than I was expecting. As for another effect - the cheese effect that is possible in any kind of B horror movie - I was happy to see that it was quite minimal. The movie has a very serious, creepy undertone stemming from the fact the more pods and replicas that are created, and the longer they go without sleep, the more likely it is that our main characters will fall victim to it as well. Very excited to see the Donald Sutherland version now, because, well, Donald Sutherland.

The Return of the Living Dead (1985)

Holy goddamn, you guys. I don't really have much to say about this movie other than that it was FUCKING AWESOME. Why, oh WHY, have I never seen this before? I loved every second of it and actually haven't had that much fun watching a movie in a long time. I'd really like to do a proper review of it soon, but I'll have to see it again in order to catch me up on the specifics. For now, just know that I am in love with this movie and want to have its baby.

The Black Cat (1981)
Definitely NOT Edgar Allen Poe's Black Cat, that's for sure. Shame, because that's one of my favorite short stories. Anywho, this Black Cat is of the Lucio Fulci variety, that mad genius who entertained the hell out of me with The House by the Cemetery. Sadly, he couldn't do the same with The Black Cat. I was beyond happy to find out that Patrick Magee, my favorite bushy eyebrowed actor, was in this one, and I love cats so I love seeing them  even when they're all evil and scratching and killing people. The problem though is that the movie lacks Fulci's famous gore and is mostly a bore. Fulci does once again show his love for doing lots of close-ups on people's eyes but nothing about this movie is up to snuff with other movies in the same genre. I'm bored now.

Bruiser (2000)

Well, hm. This was interesting. Actually on second thought, no it wasn't. This wasn't a good movie and it hurts me to admit that about something my beloved George Romero did, but this was just... weird. I mean, was there supposed to be some metaphor here about standing up for yourself when you lose your old identity and have the freedom to do what you want? Or something? Because this sure was an odd way to do it. The premise of the story is really just kind of stupid, with a guy waking up one day to find out that his face is nothing but a blank white mask. How or why this happened is never questioned by anyone, and main character Henry Creedlow runs with it too easily, immediately taking out anybody who makes him feel like the doormat he used to be. Boring, silly, unbelievable. Didn't like it.

A Zombie SantaCon

In the spirit of the holidays, here is a short video from Local Empire, a sketch comedy group, about SantaCon 2013 in New York City - with a small zombie twist. Enjoy, and happy holidays from The Girl Who Loves Horror!

Project Terrible: Zombie Apocalypse: Redemption (2011)

In the previous Project Terrible round that we did, Robert from Gaming Creatively made me watch this horribly bad zombie movie with the clever title of The Zombie Apocalypse. And because I hated it so much, naturally he thought that I would enjoy its sequel - Zombie Apocalypse: Redemption. I seriously hope nobody expects me to actually remember anything about the first movie when talking about this one. The memory of that movie was erased from my brain about five seconds after I finished watching it, thank goodness. Let's see how quickly I can forget about this one.

So there's some kind of plot here. I'm sure of it. There's some text at the beginning that gives us a rundown of what's happened in the ZA - pretty much what you would expect because you've seen it before in an umpteen number of other zombie movies. Blah, blah, barren wasteland, blah, blah, horde of the undead. Basically the movie deals with two groups of ZA survivors - the good people and the bad people. Moses (Fred Williamson) is head of the good people and Rome (some really, really bad actor) is head of the bad people, but there's this other guy Knox who used to be with the bad people but got kicked out and is now helping the good people. Or something like that.

This is the kind of movie where you can only put up with so much for so long. I was okay with it when at the beginning Knox, who is left alone in the desert, pees on his handkerchief and puts it on his head to keep cool. And then he does it again. I was okay with the movie when they said earlier that zombies outnumbered people 10,000 to 1 and yet they still managed to have two huge groups of survivors that live so close together. I was okay with all the cliche characters and the cheesy line delivery. However, I think I lost any kind of faith in the movie with a single line of dialogue. The main bad guy Rome says to his slutty little concubine chick, "When I want your opinion, I'll rape it out of you."

No joke. Those words actually came out of somebody's mouth. I seriously didn't know whether to burst out laughing or throw my TV out the window. I was dumbstruck. Struck dumb. Really stupid or really horrible? I don't know that I'll ever be sure.

All the actors in this movie have a problem. That problem is, well, ACTING. They just... they just can't do it, you know? Sure, the awesome Fred Williamson is in this but he isn't given that much to do, and believe me, he wasn't enough to even  remotely save this movie from stupidity. I guess he's the reason why Redemption seems to have this little cult following on the Internet, or maybe its the awesomely awful actor who plays Knox and goes by the kick ass name of Johnny Gel. Please, please tell me that is his real name. It would make me so happy.

I'll be honest - I'm not really doing that fair of a review. I watched the movie... okay, well, half-watched the movie about a week ago and I didn't even finish it. I haven't felt the need to go back to it and I'm pretty sure that I never will. A zombie apocalypse movie is just fine in my book but to get my attention and interest you have to do something seriously different. Wasn't getting that from this one. Sorry if that means copping out on my Project Terrible duties but there are some things that just aren't happening. I won't be sharing a romantic dinner on a bearskin rug with the man of my dreams any time soon, and I sure as hell will not be watching Zombie Apocalypse: Redemption again. So my experience with the movie will have to stand as is.

I have real respect for anyone who not only got through this whole movie but who also actually likes it. I've got dedication for the genre, fo' shizz y'all and don't forget it, but this little gal can't handle it all. This is certainly not the worst out there by far so, by all means, give this puppy a go if you want! I'm thinking it could use a little love.

Movie Review: World War Z (2013)

Oh, World War Z, what do I do with you? Way before hearing about the movie adaptation, I had passed over purchasing the book several times - I think the whole missive-type style threw me - and now it seems that I shouldn't have done that. Because now I'm going to read the book and have the movie images in my head, and that might not be a good thing. It took me a while just to get over the fact that Brad Pitt was even in a zombie movie, but when it came out to be PG-13, I was okay with it because that meant that it probably wasn't going to be a REAL zombie movie. And it wasn't.

I will stand by my spoiler philosophy and give fair warning because this is still a new movie. So... SPOILERS will be in this review. Not that you should really care all that much because the movie kind of sucked.

So Brad Pitt is this guy named Gerry who used to be some investigator or something for the UN when the zombie apocalypse suddenly breaks out in Philadelphia. Brad is needed at his old job apparently (why can they never find suitable replacements?!) and that gets him and his family a free pass right out of the ZA while everybody else has to just fend for themselves. Anyway, so they go to this ship and other UN guys convince Brad to travel the world with a virologist to not only find the source of the infection, but of course also find a way to stop the zombies. Don't forget your comb for that lovely hair, Brad.

I went into this movie both wanting to like it and knowing I was going to be disappointed. It's a zombie blockbuster, for crying out loud. Blockbusters mean shit movies for a lot of money and this time they just added zombies - so zombie fans, don't get your panties in a bunch. You already know this is not going to be your new favorite zombie movie or anything. I did surprisingly manage to find a few things I at least tolerated in World War Z, so we'll start with those. The whole globe-trotting aspect of the movie was appealing on some level, as many zombie movies focus on a few individuals in one place. That made it a bit more exciting than some other zombie flicks and at least kept the plot moving fast so we could get to the end. It also gave us a look at how they are dealing with the zombies in other parts of the world - at least for a minute until they have a big action sequence and then quickly trek to the next location.

By doing this, they drop the whole social commentary or survival instinct or whatever issues that most zombie stories have. And I'm thinking that they avoided this because that would require some sort of emotion, and that sure as hell is not what they were looking to make here. Yup, World War Z, who promised us zombies and fun, becomes another pointless, soulless, forgettable action flick that (hopefully) will not make any money past its first run at the box office after everyone figures out that it sucks.

My goodness, there were so many just plain ridiculous things happening here that I couldn't keep up. First of all, Brad is supposed to go on this global mission with a UN doctor who manages to shoot himself in the head at almost the very second that they touch down in the first location. No, really. Why introduce a character who seems like he's going to be important if you're going to kill him before he fucking does anything? Who writes this shit? Who thinks it's a good idea to explode a grenade in an airplane? Why did a little microphone feedback make the zombies go crazy when the sounds of thousands of people, vehicles, and machinery in a small space did not?

This is perhaps the first zombie movie I've seen that shows an almost unprecedented amount of zombies and yet has little to no zombie action. It's PG-13, I get it. Still, there is not a drop of blood and wherever there should have been blood, they did it off-camera. So frustrating for this little gorehound right here. As for the now infamous "zombie pile-up" thing... yeah, I hated it. I hated it when I saw it in the previews, and hated it possibly even more when I finally saw the film. It was the CGI - which I am not entirely against unless it is on a scale like this. Let me explain it again: Yes, I know movies are fake, but in order to get me into the story which is what movies are supposed to do, I shouldn't be able to tell that it is fake. All those little CGI zombies scrambling like monkeys over each other to make it up this big wall in like, a minute? Ugh, I just saw it as a waste of money.

And seriously, were these things zombies or pterodactyls? Like, what the hell was that sound they were making? 'Cause I was thinking baby pterodactyls, I don't know about you. And every time that one zombie at the WHO building clicked his teeth together, the entire audience I was watching the movie with laughed their heads off. In fact, there was a lot more laughing at this movie than I think the filmmakers intended there to be.

The consensus among the group that I saw World War Z with was at first positive. Not a super-love reaction but an "Eh, that was alright" kind of thing, and that was my initial reaction as well. Thinking about it later, though, made me realize how much I didn't like it. I also realize now that this is and was perhaps never going to be a zombie movie in the way I was thinking - just an action movie that happens to have some zombies. So if you like that sort of thing, watch World War Z. If you actually like zombies, don't watch World War Z.

So was there a best or favorite part of this movie? Yes. The Raisinettes I got at the theater. Haven't had those things in a long time and they were delicious.

Book Reviews: "Plague Town" and "Plague Nation" by Dana Fredsti

As if I weren't already in love with the zombie genre, along comes author Dana Fredsti with her Z-apocalypse book Plague Town and its sequel Plague Nation. Everything I have loved about zombies and the horror genre in general is in these two books - the pace goes at lightning speed; the action is exciting and balls-out gory; the story has depth and room to grow; and the main character Ashley Parker is an ass-kicking smart aleck. She's definitely the kind of woman I would want to be in a zombie apocalypse. Fans who read these books really are in for a treat, as I think they were written by a true fan of genre, and for true fans of the genre.

So the main story is something like this: Ashley Parker attends college in the small town of Redwood Grove, which has recently seen its citizens be plagued by a particularly nasty virus called Walker's flu. One night while out with her boyfriend, Ashley is attacked and bitten by zombies. After being hastily whisked away by scary military types, Ashley awakens in a secret lab under the college and finds out that she is one of few people that are immune to the zombie plague and is a "wild card." Wild cards enjoy such perks as rapid healing power, and increased senses and strength. Ashley and several other wild cards are given zombie-killing training and work with a paramilitary group to control the hordes of the walking dead, while professors and doctors work on finding a cure.

Author Dana Fredsti

But that's really just the beginning of the story. Just from the escalation of the titles from "Town" to "Nation," the search for the truth in this zombie apocalypse is not over and I think Fredsti has more surprises - and more zombie fun - in store for readers. And speaking of just who should be reading all this zombie awesomeness, I must say do not be fooled by the book cover like I was! Something about it to me screamed "annoying YA zombie book" when I first took the books out of the envelope but I was so wrong. These books are definitely more adult and actually seemed to be geared exactly for, well... me! What a stroke of luck.

The main character is, as aforementioned, 29-year-old Ashley Parker. She is an independent and strong-willed young woman, with a razor sharp wit and a take-no-shit attitude. I love that Fredsti chose to make Ashley a bit older than the usual college kids that show up in these stories. Ashley is already a divorcee who at almost 30 is going back to school because she doesn't really know what to do with her life. I don't think there is any shortage of people like that nowadays, so Ashley is somebody that many can relate to. It also doesn't really seem like she is going to have much of an arc as a character though because she has obviously discovered and accepted who she is already, and is not somebody that is all that changed by the zombie apocalypse. She just kind of adapted to it. Still, aside from her sometimes annoying cockiness and wanting to always be right, Ashley has a caring side to her which she shows in her relationships with several of the other characters. And of course, her kick-assedness in killing zombies with a katana sword is really cool.

Fredsti's zombies are your typical shambling, rotting flesh-eaters that are killed by damage to the brain, so there's really nothing new there. The interesting part of Fredsti's zombie story comes not from the zombies themselves but from the survivors. Along with the wild cards - who to me are just like Alices from Resident Evil - there is another way to be affected by the zombie bite in this world. Two characters in the novels are sort of halfway between zombie and human, and the scene where this is revealed with the character of Jake is a most disturbing and disgusting one. Very, very creepy, and I'm now really interested to read the next book in the series to see just what Fredsti does with these mutants and what it does to the story.

I say that these books were written by a horror fan, for horror fans, and the evidence of this rampant in both books is the constant pop culture references. And honestly, there were times when I completely loved that aspect of the writing, and there were times when it was a little annoying. I love it when books or movies mention other real media because it brings the story to our world, and not just the self-imposed shell created by the author or filmmaker. This is how real people think, and how they talk to each other - they mention movies and throw out notable quotes to each other.

Did I mention that the author was in Army of Darkness?!
Jeals!

In Plague Town and Plague Nation, though, something like this happens a few times in almost every chapter. Again, I liked it to a point because I (sadly) got most of the references and because they were references that my mind would probably make in the situation as well - but I can see how it might just be too much for some readers. References to Buffy, Evil Dead, Twilight, the SyFy Channel, of course The Walking Dead, and other random movies and TV shows are the kind of things that fans can relate to and enjoy but not to the point where you feel like the author is beating you over the head with it, or possibly just trying to show off her own knowledge. I don't like it when something like that is thrown into a particular scene in a book sometimes because it makes the reader's mind (or at least mine) go to the referenced movie instead of staying in the story of the book, where it should be.

All that being said though, I really can't say that I didn't smile ear to ear when Fredsti threw in a little story about two lovers who met at a horror convention while dressed like characters from Firefly, or mentions the movie Outbreak near the beginning of Plague Town. Making movie-inspired connections like that is just how I think and Fredsti was somehow able to tap into that. Again, I'm pretty sure she wrote this book just for me. Thank you, Dana!

I don't know if Plague Town/Nation will be hardcore enough for some zombie or horror fans, but to me it was almost perfect. There's plenty of gruesomely gore-geous descriptions of zombie attacks; there's tons of humor (when exactly did zombies get to be so funny, anyway); there's a good story and mystery that still has to be resolved; and there's plenty of different kinds of characters that anyone could relate to or at least like (my vote for best character so far is the guy with the ultimate "nerd house" that the team runs into). Zombie fans, rejoice! There is obviously still plenty of talent out there to bring new and spunky life to our favorite brain-eaters, and Dana Fredsti is one of them!