Movie Review: Resident Evil: Retribution (2012)

You know what? No. 

I can't do it. I can't even try to enjoy these RE movies anymore, or review them. They're not even trying. This was a pretty good 90-minute commercial, but as a movie, I am wholly unimpressed and in fact, I've already forgotten most of it and I just finished watching it about a half hour ago (as of this writing, that is). The scale has gotten so big on these movies that the little things are forgotten and the focus is completely on unrealistic fight sequences (that last sequence in the snow? Seriously, there needs to be a universal time limit on fight sequences like that) and making pretty CGI. The story - ha, what story? - is pulled from several different video games at once and I just don't know where the hell we are anymore. There is undoubtedly another RE in store for us, but I for one am over these movies.

Not the first one, though. The first one still kicks ass.

Michele is in Resident Evil Heaven

In the general definition of the term, I'm a gamer. I enjoy wasting a few hours here and there in front of my PS3, but my problem is that I'm a very picky gamer. I only like third person shooters, and nothing fantasy like dragons or magic or stuff like that. To give you an idea, the only games I still own right now are The Godfather 1 and 2, Red Dead Redemption, The Tomb Raider Trilogy, Resident Evil 4 and 5, and Uncharted 1, 2, and 3. See? The same games over and over. But I'm cool with that because I love all these games and they are exactly what I want out of my gaming experience. 

Why does this matter? Because 2012 is turning out to be one freaking amazing year for one of my favorite, and one of the most popular, video game series - Resident Evil. So far there are three new RE games coming out this year alone, which is an amazing treat for fans since it has been 3 years since RE5 came out. I loved RE5 myself but most fans were unimpressed because the game was mostly just an adventure/shooter and seemed to do away with the scare factor that helped make the series a hit in the first place. Well, as previously mentioned, this year Capcom has three chances to make things right with fans with one minor and two major game releases.

Resident Evil Revelations

Platform(s): Nintendo 3DS

Release Date: February 7, 2012

Not much interest in this game for me since it is exclusive to the 3DS, but I'd be interested to see how it would play out on the new platform. The gameplay is similar to RE4 and RE5 and the story centers around RE favorites Chris Redfield and Jill Valentine. Plus from what I can tell from the descriptions, the setting seems like it's going to be much different, as it takes place on a cruise liner and not some desolate, isolated landscape.

Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City

Platform(s): Windows, PS3, XBox 360

Release Date: March 20, 2012

This one sounds the most interesting as the gameplay seems completely different than what I've played before and will be a fun change from previous RE games. Players actually get to be the bad guys in this game and the story takes us all the way back to almost the very beginning of the game, right back to the outbreak of the T virus in Raccoon City. I never got to play the original games so I'm so stoked about this! Players can also vastly change the outcome of the storyline depending on what decisions they make, and they can also choose to become infected by the virus as a strategy for helping to complete the mission.

Resident Evil 6

Platform(s): PS3, Xbox 360, Windows

Release Date: November 20, 2012

What a glorious surprise! The big boys kept a tight lid on the development of this game, so I never even knew that Resident Evil 6 was a possibility until I got slapped in the face with the amazing game trailer that was released just a few days ago on January 19. I admit I was happy enough with the news of Operation Raccoon City, but I am a helluva lot more excited for RE6! The trailer is (as I described it on another person's site) pretty much orgasmic, Leon Kennedy and Chris Redfield are back, and it looks to be the same kind of gameplay that I have come to know and love from this series. The only downside is the 10 month wait until I can get this piece of awesome in my hands!

Resident Evil: Retribution

Release Date: September 14, 2012

And to put the cherry on top of the Year of Resident Evil, the fifth movie installment of the series is also coming out in 2012! However, my liking of the franchise slowly dwindled after the first film, so I can't say I have high hopes for this movie yet. The story sounds interesting, though. We get to find out more about Alice's past, seemingly before her involvement with Umbrella from that one shot of her on a street with a kid, along with continuing the storyline presented in the last movie. Ada Wong, Leon Kennedy, Albert Wesker, and Jill Valentine will also all appear in the movie as Alice travels the world trying to put an end to the zombie madness. The zombies in the film will also be the Las Plagas parasites, which appeared in the RE4 game, so those effects should be at least fun to watch. As for the 3D... no thanks!

With all these RE goodies, I think this will be a bitchin' year.

Horror Movie Memorabilia (And Excuses For Not Blogging)

TheGirl has been slacking a lot on the review writing. This is for a few reasons, perhaps. One, I haven't actually been watching many movies lately (ever since I discovered "Hoarders" was on Netflix - love that show) and the ones I have seen have not been that worthy of a review. Except The Brood. Still working on that. Two, I'm on the book tour for Shock Value by Jason Zinoman and I've had to read that and write a deserving review, which I am also still working on (will be posted on July 18!). In fact, I may even read it again in order to have a more informed opinion. Whew.

So I'm trying to be more creative with the blogging thing and doing more than just reviews. Today, as I'm sitting in my room, it hit me!

Some of my most prized possessions include my little array of horror movie memorabilia. I would like to share with you some of these things I've collected - with pictures, of course - and I want to hear from you about anything horror-related that YOU have! I don't know if any of this stuff is true "memorabilia," like, if they're worth anything or whatever, but I love them and I want to acquire more!

Posters

The most obvious thing to collect for any movie lover are posters. I've collected a lot of non-horror posters (used to work in the video section of my grocery store) and the horror ones I do have I love, but there are certain ones that I still need to get. LIKE POLTERGEIST. It's my favorite horror movie. Why don't I have a poster of it yet??? Anyway, here are the ones I do have.

The Evil Dead! It used to have a primo spot on my wall, right above my bed, but got moved recently.

Love Saw, of course, but more so, I love this image from the film so I had to get the poster.

As they appear on my walls. Two eras of filmmaking converge!

Gosh darn, I loves me some Resident Evil. And this poster was free, too!

Toys/Dolls

Some of these I picked up pretty cheap on eBay, some I found at my video store. They're all great.

This is the "Splitting Ash and Deadite" doll collection from Army of Darkness. Terrible likeness, but still kinda neat, I think.

Also a terrible likeness, this is supposed to be Darla from the "Welcome to the Hellmouth" episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. She's got some cute accessories.

This is Jessica Biel's character Erin from the TCM remake (a little bit better likeness!). I like the movie but not sure why I bought this. I guess because I liked that she's got a big slab of meat with her.

Here's the best one! The original Movie Maniacs doll of Leatherface from The Texas Chain Saw Massacre! He's got a background with the movie poster, a bloody bucket, a severed head, a meat hook... everything Leatherface needs!

Calm down, Jenny, he's not real - I have to tell myself that several times a day, too. This little plush Chucky doll is supposedly from Child's Play 2 (as the tag says) but this could be from the first film as well, I guess. So far, he hasn't shown signs of coming to life, but who knows? He could be getting up in the middle of the night and wandering around my house for all I know.

Miscellaneous

T-shirts, knickknacks, and signs - oh my! Here's some more random stuff that I have!

The first of a few Psycho related stuff. I found this on AllPosters.com (FANTASTIC site) and just had to have it. It's just a cool tin sign.

 

More Psycho stuff. I got these goodies from Dollar Bin Horror and I L-O-V-E love them! My Bates Motel t-shirt already got a little color stain from the washing machine (GRRRR), but, my Bates Motel keychain is still rockin' its awesomeness on my keyring.

Brought back to life from a previous post, here's my autographed photo of Joe Bob Briggs!

And just for fun, here is my little bookshelf that holds nothing but Stephen King paperback and hardcover books. And I still don't have them all. I picked up a few first editions (at least I hope they are) of Pet Sematary and Misery recently so that's awesome!

I also have one of those Ghostface Scream masks, but that's not as cool because they sell that every year at Halloween stores now. 

So now my horror movie nerdines is out in the open for all to see. And I'm dang proud of it! What about my amazing fellow bloggers and readers? Got any cool horror movie stuff you have that you'd like to share?