I'm in a Zine!

A little while ago, I was contacted by this nice guy named Richard about contributing to his fanzine, The Fang of Joy (I'll need to ask him what that means sometime).

 

It's a zine all about Eurohorror and giallo films, and I was pretty much given carte blanche to write about whatever I wanted having to do with that topic. I'm definitely no expert (yet) when it comes to giallo, but there have been some specific movies that I've seen that stick out in my mind so I decided to focus on one of those. The topic of my article is Dario Argento's The Bird with the Crystal Plumage, which I would argue any day is his best film - or at least just my favorite.

And look at the contributor list for this issue of Fang of Joy!

 

Fellow blog buddies Alec Pridgen and James Gracey also have articles here, though I admit to not having read them yet. I'm sure they kick ass.

 

So anyway, if you want your own copy of this fanzine, follow the link on Richard's blog Cinema Somnambulist HERE! Only $8.75 an issue!

Movie Roundup: Basket Case (1982), Cold Prey (2006), and The Cat O' Nine Tails (1971)

Basket Case (1982)
Oh, I waited too long to watch Basket Case. What a joyous little bundle of weirdness and strange creativity! I actually had a bit of apprehensiveness going into this movie because it was one that, for some reason, I really wanted to like but was afraid that I wouldn't be receptive to it. Thankfully, that wasn't the case. Basket Case is no doubt a very absurd movie but it is also one that is put together surprisingly well, and actually has some decent acting and effects. Even the story is not that bad! It's completely implausible, for sure, but I dug it for the moment and was totally willing to go along with the fact a couple of doctors would perform a difficult operation on someone's kitchen table. I definitely rooted for Duane and Belial in this story because of their plight and the "connection" that they had. It was even kind of sweet the way Duane took care of Belial and talked to him like he wasn't a freakish deformed mass. The hotel tenants were also pretty awesome. The sequels are coming from Netflix soon - can't wait!

Cold Prey (2006)

Christine Hadden from Fascination with Fear is one of my favorites bloggers, and I think she and I have very similar tastes when it comes to our beloved horror movies. I seem to remember her praising both Cold Prey and Cold Prey 2, a pair of wintry Norwegian slasher films, and given the region's recent reputation in the horror genre (very good!), I knew I had to see what this one had to offer. Cold Prey is simple, if not a bit cliché with the story of a group of traveling young adults who run afoul of a masked killer. But sometimes simple is the right way to go, and though Cold Prey offers no big surprises or anything, it works. I love the snowy setting, and therefore how massive and mysterious the killer looks all covered and bundled up. I was a little disappointed that it was not at all difficult to figure out who the final survivor would be or the origin of the killer, but not enough to make me give the movie bad marks. The characters are likable and there are some wonderfully well crafted sequences - especially the final encounter with the killer. Just like Basket Case, I can't wait to see the sequel! Coming soon.

The Cat O' Nine Tails (1971)
Okay, I need stop saying that every new Dario Argento film I see is my favorite one until I've seen all of them. Even ones that aren't all that exciting or bloody are still appealing simply because they are just really good, really well put together films. Maybe this is why Argento himself isn't as fond of this one as some of his other films, but I would have to respectfully disagree. The Cat O' Nine Tails is a beautifully classic murder mystery that gets a little twisted, though not so much that you can't follow along. There are a lot of good individual scenes that make up for the times when the movie can't seem to decide just what kind of movie it wants to be - a serious mystery or a comedy, even though I think the comedy works a lot in the movie's favor. Actually, I would almost give the movie high praise simply for the unexpectedly hilarious barbershop shaving sequence. The Cat O' Nine Tails also boasts some of my favorite acting in an Argento movie. Ex-detective Franco Arno and his young niece Lori are an adorable pair, and I absolutely loved their scenes together. Carlo and Anna are also standouts, but Franco is really the star of the show. So far, I've been the biggest fan of Argento's earlier movies and think that they are some of the best giallos out there. He's a true talent, that's for sure.

Movie Review: The Bird with the Crystal Plumage (1970)

Whew. I don't know about you guys, but that was a loooong holiday weekend for me. Well, I guess if you don't live in the U.S., you didn't even really have a holiday weekend, did you? Now I just sound awkward. Okay, on to the review.

 

I think now it was a good idea to space out my viewings of most of these giallos. Each new one that I have seen has been like this wonderful little horror treasure that I've discovered for myself. Awesome titling comes into play again with The Bird with the Crystal Plumage, which I was surprised to find out was actually Dario Argento's directorial debut.

Sam, an American writer living in Rome, witnesses the attempted murder of a woman who is likely the victim of a serial killer that has offed several women in the area. Sam becomes obsessed with trying to find the killer himself, heading up his own investigation into the crimes - and making himself and his girlfriend targets in the process.

The Bird with the Crystal Plumage works because of its simplicity. Not only did Argento begin his directing career with this film, he also wrote it, and the story he came up with is fabulous. It really has that feel of a classic murder mystery, with all the classic plot elements and devious devices you love from movies like it. Not that I'm advocating a remake or anything, but if someone were to do something similar today, they really wouldn't have to change a thing about the major plot points - my sign of a true classic. The only thing I am a bit iffy on is how involved in the case Inspector Morosini allows Sam to be. Granted he kind of does a better job than the police do, but it's still the principle of the thing.

Tony Musante as Sam Dalmas is an attractive leading man in every sense of the word. He is vulnerable, but not weak, and sensitive, but still able to hold his own. His model girlfriend Julia is played by the gorgeous Suzy Kendall, a British actress who only  had a career in the 60s and 70s. At first I thought she was going to be annoying - like a lot of women in these movies who play second fiddle to the hero are - but she ends up being a great character.

I was surprised to find a bit of a humorous element in some scenes. There's a cute little relationship scene between Sam and Julia when she gets mad at him and starts throwing things, and he just laughs and goads her even more. That kind of realism is always fun to see. But obviously the best humorous scene is when Sam goes to visit the painter, and finds him to be just as eccentric as painters are often portrayed as being. Although I don't completely love this scene because eating kittens is so wrong. So very, very wrong. There are also some moments of true suspense that I loved, such as when the killer is trying to get in the apartment when Julia is there alone. My favorite part, though, is when Sam walks into the darkened room of the killer's, not knowing or seeing poor Julia tied up and gagged on the floor. The revealing shot is perfectly framed and a great shock for the audience.

Until the reveal, the killer remains like all typical giallo killers - black gloves and a shiny black raincoat expertly hide not only their identity but also their gender (hint hint!). And for once, I actually loved the killer's motive and the reasoning behind why they did what they did. Even if you think you know who the killer is, I think the movie does a great job of hiding their motive and how everything finally connects in the end. I found it interesting that in both this and Four Flies on Grey Velvet - both a part of Argento's "Animal Trilogy" - it was the very animal in the title that reveals the identity of the killer. And now I want to know if that was intended or not, and if the same thing is true for the last installment of the trilogy, The Cat o' Nine Tails. It's now in the queue!

Sometimes I think it's best to judge a director on some of their first efforts moreso than their later films. The Bird with the Crystal Plumage is a more than solid directorial debut for Dario Argento, who obviously had talent straight out of the gate. It's a perfectly written and executed mystery thriller that gets all the beats right. No doubt another favorite has been born.

A Week of "P" Movies: Pelts

Fuck you, Dario Argento. Fuck you and your GD genius of gore. Don't get me wrong, I love you and all, but fucking Pelts fucking traumatized me for life. Thanks.

No, sincerely... thanks. I mean, Pelts has got some of the best gore I've seen in a long time, but still. Is it possible that this is maybe too much gore?

I never thought I would say that.

In Pelts, Meat Loaf plays a sleazy fur trader obsessed with a lesbian stripper named Shanna (I must admit, she has a very nice ass), who wants nothing to do with him (I mean, it's Meat Loaf, hello!). When John Saxon, one of those dudes who catches and skins animals for furs, captures a slew of raccoons with apparently gorgeous pelts (I didn't know raccoons were that awesome), Meat Loaf really wants them to make a fur coat for Shanna so he can finally have her (and by have her, yes, I mean have sex with her). Ah, but these are no ordinary pelts. For some reason that is never explained, the pelts make those around them go insanely cuckoo and also makes them mutilate themselves in the grossest ways ever. Let the gore commence.

If loving Argento is wrong,
I don't want to be right.

Now, I'm going to admit that I really hated Argento's first Masters of Horror episode, Jenifer. It was just, like, I don't know... weird. So I was thinking that this next one had to be better. I was never warned that Pelts was perhaps the goriest thing produced by Masters of Horror yet (well, except maybe Takashi Miike's Imprint, which never aired, which I still haven't watched yet for some reason), but the element of surprise was worth the experience of watching Pelts for the first time.

Let's just talk about the gore for this movie, okay? Yeah, I could talk about the acting and the subtext about obsessions and passions or whatever, but who cares. My first gore review, whoopie! Let's go scene by scene.

1. John Saxon's head bashed in with a baseball bat. You see his head cave in on the very first strike. Not as inventive a kill as it could have been, but very brutal.

2. Kid putting his face into an animal trap. The scene that traumatized me for life. This and that jaw rip death from Mirrors have freaked me out more than anything else I have seen. After beating the shit out of John Saxon's head, this kid goes down to the basement, lovingly strokes the raccoon pelts, puts an animal trap onto a table, opens it, smiles, and then PUTS HIS FUCKING FACE INTO IT. And this is Argento, so we don't cut away at all. Noooo, we have to see the whole GD thing, up close and personal. Excellent makeup effects, but FUCK. Was that disturbing.

Even worse: When Meat Loaf and this other dude discover the body, Meat Loaf sort of smiles and looks at it like it's the most beautiful thing in the world. Creeeeeeeepyyyyy.

3. Man eviscerates himself. After being berated by Meat Loaf for cutting the pelts wrong, one of his workers pulls out some scissors while sitting in his car. He cuts into himself from belly to throat, rips his skin apart, and starts pulling out his guts. The makeup, and sound effects especially, were a little too good in this scene and I almost horked on my shoes. 

4. Woman sews her face shut. A little lame and a little too obviously CG. One of Meat Loaf's stereotypical Chinese female workers stays late one night to finish the fur coat and instead decides to sew her nose, mouth, and eyes shut. Kind of boring. I wasn't impressed.

5. Meat Loaf makes Shanna a skin tank top. The penultimate event of the episode. Meat Loaf takes the fur coat to Shanna's apartment, bangs her, and then goes into the bathroom, saying that he "needs something sharp." Uh oh. He finds a knife in the kitchen and starts to slice along his body, and you're wondering, Well, hm. What's he doing there? Then again, we have a full on effects and gore shot that doesn't cut away of Meat Loaf pulling his skin off, over his head like a t-shirt. Ew, ew, ew, ew, EW.

6. Shanna rips her hand off in the elevator doors. In the same scene, Meat Loaf chases Shanna to the elevator of her apartment building. Trying to get away from him, she gets her hand caught in the elevator doors as they are closing. Somehow (I'm thinking this is not very possible) she just rips her hand off, leaving behind the bloodiest crime scene ever. The CSI team is in for a long night.

So there you have it, the gore highlights of Pelts, on my list as one of the best gorefests (at least, from what I've seen so far) out there.

Did you notice how everybody's death has got something to do with what they do to the raccoons? The baseball bat to bash their skulls and kill them; the trap to catch them; the scissors to cut the pelts once they're dried; and the needle and thread to sew the coat together. Meat Loaf skinning himself is obviously with how they skin the newly killed animals and Shanna getting her hand caught in the elevator and ripping it off is reminiscent of animals chewing off their own limbs to get out of a trap. Clever, screenwriters. Clever. I like it.

Side note: Haven't seen all of the Masters of Horror episodes yet, but so far my top three are Pelts, Incident On and Off a Mountain Road, and Cigarette Burns.