Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Movie Review: Orca: The Killer Whale (1977)


So while I was watching Orca the other day, I hadn't really planned on writing a review for it. However, I simply cannot let this movie go. Orca: The Killer Whale is... my goodness, this thing is an atrocity. This is not the way to respond to a blockbuster like Jaws, this is a way to make everyone whoever sees this movie take vengeance on those that made it for so hurting their psyches with this rubbish. Alright let's get into it and get this over with.

Captain Nolan is trying to catch a great white shark to sell to an aquarium. But when he witnesses an orca, or killer whale, attack a shark, he decides that capturing one of them will be more profitable. He gets himself in deep trouble with the animal, however, when he kills its mate and unborn baby, the orca vows vengeance.

No, seriously. I swear to goodness that that is what the movie is about. How ridiculous is that? I thought Jaws: The Revenge was bad enough with its similar storyline, but holy hell, Orca: The Killer Whale just goes so far beyond ridiculous. Perhaps I'm mad at the movie because of my love for Free Willy because, honestly, who doesn't love that 90s feel-good movie? I was 26 years old when I got all giddy after finding the Free Willy DVD pack at Wal-mart. It's one of my favorites, not gonna lie. So now here comes this piece of shit that turns these beautiful and intelligent creatures in vengeance-filled assholes. That's not cool.

You all should know I love me a good animals-run-amok piece but I definitely did not love Orca. I don't even feel the need to remark on the acting, or the fake orcas vs. the real orcas, or anything other than how stupidly the orcas are portrayed in this movie, and what the filmmakers want us to believe they are capable of. First of all, the orca is able to pick out Nolan on the deck of the ship as the one responsible for the death of his mate and baby - not any of the other guys. Just Nolan. He sorta gets imprinted in the orca's brain and from then on the whale always knows where he is and has this whole elaborate plan to get his revenge.

Thus begins Father Orca's scheme to ruin Nolan's life. His continual presence makes the other fishermen pissed at Nolan because the orca is scaring all the fish in the area away. The orca attacks all the fishermen's boats in the harbor (except Nolan's because, as they theorize, the orca wants to fight him on the water... okay, sure...). The orca starts an explosion. The orca knocks out the support beams on Nolan's rental house, making it fall into the water. The orca bites off Bo Derek's leg. The orca eats another of Nolan's crew members. Now, I knew orcas were smart but this one must be the smartest goshdarn whale in the water. It boggles the mind, yes?

There was one thing I actually loved during all these orca-on-a-rampage escapades. Like I said before, this beyond brilliant whale is actually able to execute a very effective explosion. Amazing, right? He leaps out of the water to precisely bust the gas lines which leads to a huge explosion on the island. The really awesome part is all the different shots of the orca sort of triumphantly leaping out of the water several times (in a composite shot) as the fire rages behind him. I couldn't help but imagine him saying something like, "Boo-ya!" every time he jumped. It was hilarious, trust me.

The absolute worst part of this movie (and trust me, there are many to choose from) is the god-awful ridiculous, and slightly traumatizing, scene where the female orca gives birth on the deck on the deck of the ship. This isn't a sweet, miracle of life birthing scene either - the mother is half dead, hanging upside down above the ship when the little pink fetus kind of poops out of her. It was another one of those times when I was so stunned at the stupidity that I wasn't sure whether I should laugh my ass off or throw something at the television.

But all that is only part of the crap this movie has to offer, my friends. The whole last third consists of the orca actually leading Nolan and his crew to their final battle ground of some polar ice caps or some shit. The orca tips an ice sheet that Nolan is standing on, sliding him into the water, then picks Nolan up with his tail and throws him against an iceberg, finally killing him. It's actually not all that bad of an ending - just how the movie ended up there is the stupid part. And as stupid as it all is and as much as I didn't like this movie, I must say that you all need to see Orca: The Killer Whale. You must see what I have seen to believe it.

22 comments:

  1. Yeah, I reviewed Orca a while back on one of our podcasts and you are totally correct. Orca: The Killer Whale is a turd. In fact, someone should photoshop the whale out of the movie poster and replace it with a big brown Baby Ruth. I'm not sure what is more offensive, Orca or the cinematic sea spawn that occurred due to the success of Jaws. So many bad movies. But if you don't take Orca serious it can be a lotta fun to watch with friends. - Cory

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    1. Correct on all accounts, my friend! A huge turd this is. I wouldn't say that we got all bad movies because of Jaws - a lot, but not all. They're at least entertaining in a really shitty way.

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  2. I remember seeing Orca together with my Mom sometime in the 90s, and we both didn't like it. We expected some big-fish-awesomeness, and all we got was this lame piece of dreck :)

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    1. The only awesome part really was when the orca attacks the shark near the beginning. After that it's all downhill.

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    2. ...even that is Dino going 'my film is better than Jaws.' Cool, but also sad.

      Is it a coincidence that Dino's first 'Jaws' rip-off is named after the boat from said film? Probably. It is still odd though.

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  3. I actually LOVED Orca. I was like...I dunno...13? when I first watched this movie. I was also half-asleep on the living room couch, drooling onto my textbook as I procrastinated studying for a final exam. In that half-conscious haze, I DO remember the song: "WE ARE ONE!" Got stuck in my head for weeks, hahaha! I might've had a nightmare about the stillborn death scene...good lord, that was a decade ago. This movie is undoubtedly horrible, but you know, nostalgia and all. :)

    ~Cheers from the Vegetarian Cannibal!

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    1. Nostalgia can sometimes trump all other things, I understand!

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  4. I'm not even going to bother trying to watch this. I wouldn't before the review, I'm not a huge fan of killer animal movies to begin with. (except maybe pet cemetery). I keep coming back to see if you're going to review The Conjuring, I'm really interested to know what you thought :)

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    1. I get preoccupied easily otherwise I would have written a review for The Conjuring much sooner. I promise I'll work on it just for you! Small peek ahead: I FUCKING LOVED IT.

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  5. So, you're saying....Please watch this movie; it's crap. That's hilarious. Now I have to. I'm practically obligated. I live in the Pacific Northwest, on an island, no less, there are Orcas about...Let's just see about Orca the Killer Whale.

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    1. There are bad movies that are just bad, and then there are bad movies that you can get a real stupid joy out of watching. Orca is one of the latter!

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    2. Ah 'Orca,' how I loathe you.

      I love 'so bad it's good' films, but this one is just too stupid and insulting for me. You have to accept so much crap for it to work at all.

      For context, you should check out Dino's other two 'Jaws' rip-offs too. Just an idea.

      P.S. Do your PT film first though. :-)

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  6. Sacanagem com esses pobres mamíferos...

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  7. orca is a great film and far far better than jaws ever was its a horror movie no ones asking you to really believe whats happening ffs you saying you believe everything is real in every horror film lol get over yourself. orcas are extremely smart and more powerful than any shark

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    1. Thank you, troll! Please never come again if you cannot bring yourself to accept another person's opinion.

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  8. The finest review of this film was done by NY critic Stuart Klein when the movie first came out many years ago. All Klein did was to recite the "plot." We still laugh when remembering the review. And no, we have never seen the film.

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  9. Saw this film again recently and was shocked at the exploitation of Charlotte Rampling in her opening scene where she's introduced to us in, of all things, a full black rubber wetsuit, Yet the male diver she is with wears a dull black fabric one? Surely it was not nessasery to introduce her in this way, but they could have at least put the male diver in a rubber wetsuit too? Or, more appropriately, put her in fabric wetsuit and have the male diver in a rubber wetsuit.
    Thought I would cover this point as no-one else seems to have noted it, and this scene always bothers me��
    Teresa

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  10. Orca at least had a point. The whale had motivation and the film had moral value. Not to mention the attacks were a hell of a lot more imaginative, and the ending made sense. What's the message of Jaws? Don't argue with the police?

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    1. True and lets not forget the horrible Jaws sequels though I actually liked the third Jaws movie. The one where a huge shark gets into the aquarium. One complaint i have with this movie is for the life of me I just couldn't take Rachel seriously god she was corny. Glad the Orca won in the end though.

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  11. Terrible movie. My mom always raved about it now I finally caught it. But boy did she mislead me. It's so bad it's good in a way though.

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  12. I think this was an attempt to cash in from the success from JAWS. I also think the best things about this movie was Richard Harris's ability to stay true to the character of Nolan. Ennio Moricones Haunting score should have won an academy award. Obscure and rather boring. This old sea dog tale has gained much infamy that continues to grow. A movie we love to hate.

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  13. Im an OLD SCHOOL KID. What you wrote is ... not PROFESSIONAL -- even if you a punk ass ametuer. You RIPPED this movie for stupidity and here is your STUPID MOVE ... never read the BOOK did you????

    ARTHUR HERZOG Ending in the book was so opposite to the movie.

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