Movie Review: 30 Days of Night (2007)

I avoided seeing 30 Days of Night for the longest time because, for some reason, I thought I would hate it. The concept always intrigued me but maybe it was the fact that Josh Hartnett was the star that turned me off initially. Don't judge a book by its cover or its starring actors, I guess, because 30 Days of Night was actually pretty darn good.

In this story taken from a graphic novel of the same name, the northernmost U.S. town of Barrow, Alaska undergoes a period of 30 days of total darkness in the winter. When this polar night begins, bloodthirsty vampires invade the town to feed on the populace. A small group of citizens, led by the town sheriff, try to survive the invasion by hiding out until the sun comes up again.

30 Days of Night is a slow burn with not as much action as you would expect. The tone of the movie is represented in the miserably cold atmosphere and the town's impending doom about being plunged into depressing darkness for a whole month (I thought polar night lasted longer than that in that area, but what do I know?). The strange man who arrives in town unexpectedly cuts off all ways of communication and the town essentially shuts down, so no one on the outside knows that anything is wrong and they can't call for help. I can't remember if it's explained why they can't just drive away, though. Is it because of the blizzard? And why would the airport freaking shut down for the month anyway just because it's dark? Planes fly at night all the time, morons, I don't see the problem. Anyway.

I don't know how big the town of Barrow really is, but it must be pretty good size for these people to be able to hide from the vampires for a month. The few people left alive hole up in some dude's attic for most of the time, where some of them understandably get a wild case of cabin fever insanity. There's also the underlying tension between Josh Hartnett's Eben and his wife Stella (Melissa George) who have unexplained problems that you know will be solved by the end of the movie. Ha! But even that cliche is turned on its head in the film's amazing conclusion, which I'll talk more about in a bit.

The vampires here are just how like them in anything outside of a Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode. They don't look too unnaturally monstrous, but only like pale people with sharp, sharp teeth. They speak in their own strange language and are basically your typical evil, rip-you-to-pieces bloodsuckers. Actually, a couple of them were kind of hot, but that's beside the point. The point is that these vampires are awesome and the only negative about them is that they are not given nearly enough screen time for my liking.

And although the action having to do with these awesome vampires is fairly minimal, the movie does manage to throw in some pretty good gags. First of all, there's the gnarly scene where the vamps attack and kill about half of the townspeople in about five minutes. There are some cool aerial shots of the carnage in this bit and I freaking loved it. Secondly, there's the as yet unmatched scene of Eben and Stella driving through town in their truck only to have the vampires freaking lift the thing up by the ass end and flip it over. That. Was. So. Cool.

There are only three mentionable gore gags, and I think you'll know which ones I'm thinking of if you've seen the movie. There's a vampire getting sliced in half with this vehicle that's got a chain saw thingy attached to it; there's the guy who gets his hand ripped off the trash chewer-upper; and there's the part where Eben kills the head vampire by punching him through - not in, through - the mouth and coming out the back of his head. The whole fight scene before this wasn't all that exciting so this bit comes out of nowhere and had me clapping with gleeful delight. There's also an earlier cool scene with a freak-ass vampire little girl covered in blood. Children = scary, we all know that.

Now, Eben was able to do this because beforehand he had injected himself with the blood of a vampire-infected person. So even though we know he is going to win the day and save his beloved, he's going to have to die because now he's a vampire. The movie ends with Stella and him sitting on their favorite spot watching the sun finally come up and Stella holding Eben while he turns to ashes. My goodness, what an utterly depressing ending. But you know, I liked it, and I thought the effects work in this scene was gorgeous. The way it was shot and the music just made it so disgustingly beautiful. Stella's in agony but trying to stay strong and then gets this look on her face like she's going to go out and fuck up every vampire she can find. I love you, Melissa George, I really do. 

I'm not calling this one of the greatest vampire movies out there, but 30 Days of Night sets itself apart from the others with its chilling (no pun intended) tone and trading out CGI-boosted action sequences for a couple of good emotionally draining thrill moments. I'm not sure how I'll feel about the sequel though... anybody got thoughts on that one?

Movie Review: Turistas

I'm going to put it out there right at the start: I LOVED TURISTAS.

Yeah, I mean it. Seriously, this movie just gets shit on by almost every review that I read and it's truly not that bad. It certainly doesn't deserve the extreme low rating on both Rotten Tomatoes and IMDb. 

Okay it's cliche. I see that, I really do. It's cute people shaking their stuff in bikinis, partying and drinking in Brazil, and then being hunted down by an evil doctor who wants to take their organs! Oh my! Of course it couldn't really happen, and of course I don't see Brazil in a bad light because of this movie. Turistas came out less than a year after Hostel, and while the latter is also a relatively good film, I have way more problems with it than I do with Turistas.

The movie starts off with more of a punch than expected. Three people are traveling together on a bus in Brazil. Within a few minutes, however, the bad luck for these travelers begins as the bus careens off the road and then rolls down a steep hill. Well, shit.

If you were on a beach in Brazil, I'm thinkin' the only thing
on your mind would be drinkin'.

They are a nice group of kids: Bea and her brother Alex, along with Bea's hot friend Amy. While waiting on another bus, the group meets up with two funny British dudes and a travel-concious Australian girl named Pru (I love you, Melissa George). None of them are particularly bitchy or annoying, so we like them. Cute and nice. How often does that happen? After a while, they all decide to make the always wrong choice of veering from the predetermined plan and ditch the bus to enjoy a wild night on a nearby beach. They are drugged and robbed and soon find out that they are being chased down by a local doctor who wants to harvest their organs and give them to the poor people of Brazil. No, no - that wasn't an urban legend I was talking about. That was the actual plot of the movie. Even I admit, that's really lame. However, that part of the story doesn't play a huge role in the overall film, so I'll let it slide for now.

I suppose this movie is more of a thriller than horror, but it does have those horrific elements to it - some nice gore scenes of organ harvesting surgery and whatnot. And it's got sequences that are very well shot and paced, and make for an at least enjoyable experience. 

Here's what I like: the music. Hopefully, that's what grabs you in the beginning. The song playing over the opening credits is catchy and fun, a definite false sense of security for the rest of the film. Other points, like the bar scenes, use what I'm guessing is authentic Brazilian music. Very spicy and fun to listen to. So at least that sets it apart from other horror/thrillers.

Also, the setting. Of course. Brazilian beaches are fucking gorgeous and I bet the cinematographer and camera guys were just orgasming throughout the shoot . But we get to visit not only the beach in this film - some nice village scenes, a creepy but awesome secluded house in the jungle, a trek through the jungle itself, and of course the huge waterfall with the underwater caves.

Granted, this is what people talk about the most when referencing this movie is the freaking underwater scenes. And that is really one of the main reasons I love this movie. The first time in the caves is when Kiko takes them to show him his "special place." And fuck me Freddy, is it special. More gorgeous scenery at which to look. But the next time we visit these caves, they are not so fun anymore. 

Whilst being chased by Zamora's (the mad doctor) men, the group decides to try to lose them in the underwater caves, but the men catch up and commence chasing them UNDER-FUCKING-WATER. Having to swim fast and dodge bullets, under water, in the dark, while only have little pockets of air to breathe from? That freaks me out. I don't think I would have even wanted to be an actress in that scene. 

Two words: HELL NO.

My other favorite scene is right after the group wakes up and finds they have been robbed. Nothing but the clothes on their backs, they trudge to a nearby village looking for help. It might sound gay to try to pull any real drama from a movie like this, but I seriously felt the hopelessness and despair from their situation. The music was good in this scene, too, and worked well with the way they had to go into this town, not really knowing where they were, in almost no clothes and barefoot. And while people might have wanted to help them, it's apparent that everyone knew what was going on and was "in on it." So yeah, their situation sucked. It did, and I felt for them.

Also: don't anybody ever try to staple my head wound. I'll just bleed to death, thanks.

Is Turistas a fantastic movie? No. Is it even a fore-runner of horror films? Nope. But it's certainly not the worst piece of crap I've ever seen, as I've so often heard other people say about Turistas. It even makes me want to visit Brazil more, weird as that sounds. Fuck, now I have add Portuguese to my list of languages to learn. Turistas is all good fun. It's catchy like a pop song, with pretty scenery, some well done suspense scenes and a few good gore highlights. I like it. So fuck you. :)