Movie Review: The House by the Cemetery (1981)

Oh, Lucio Fulci, where have you been all my horror-loving life? Terrible dubbing actors aside, The House by the Cemetery is just aces in my book. I'm still a little confused on the whole "what is giallo and what is not" thing, and whether or not this movie can be considered one, I have to say that this is one Italian horror film that actually has a mostly coherent plot, some kick-ass gore, and a truly disgusting looking killer.

Norman and Lucy Boyle and their young son Bob leave hectic New York City temporarily so Norman can do some research on the strange death of a colleague. They are put up in a rundown mansion by a cemetery which houses a most unwelcome guest in the basement - a slaughtering maniac who needs human flesh to keep himself alive.

Can I get one thing out of the way first? "Bob" is not a good name for a child. I mean, if his full name was Robert, wouldn't it be more fitting for him to be a Bobby or a Robbie when he is still a kid? You don't generally become a Bob until you're much older, so this was kinda weird.

Anyway, I like this movie! It may seem a bit disjointed because it's a strange combination of a haunted house/ghost story, a slasher, and possibly a zombie film at the same time. I thought it all mixed together quite well myself, for if the story ever got boring, there was usually a great gore sequence to kick things up a notch. We don't get to know anything about the characters - why Bob is randomly psychic with a ghost kid named Mae for one thing - but, like I usually say about a lot of these movies, who cares?! There's some totally awesome and realistic gore and that is what makes this movie special to me.

Almost right off the bat, we're given an inkling of coolness to come when a girl and her boyfriend are killed in the house after having a mattress party. The guy comes through the doorway so messed up that I don't even know what happened to him and the girl gets stabbed in the back of the head with the knife point sticking out of her mouth. Pretty good, but it gets better. Ann the babysitter (whom for most of the movie looked like she was on the killer's side but I guess not so much) gets one of the best and most realistic throat-slashings I've ever seen. The knife goes one way across her throat, then the other way, and both ways it's AMAZING. Love it.

No doubt the best death is that of little Mrs. Gittelson who decides to stop by the house at exactly the wrong time. Gittelson is deliberately and slowly stabbed three times with a fire poker - twice in the chest and once in the neck. It is the aftermath of the latter wound that probably caused the movie to be so heavily cut in earlier releases. There is an extensive lingering shot on her neck wound as arterial blood spurts and sprays out of it.  Cooooooooool. Also just as realistic looking as Ann's death.

Another thing about blood in this movie. Two words: maggot blood. Maggot blood coming out of Dr. Freudstein when he's stabbed. A little bit vomit-inducing.

The only gore sequence that wasn't all that great was the overlong killing of the bat that attacks Norman and Lucy in the basement. Seriously, how difficult is it to get a bat off your hand? You use the other hand, grab it, and kill the dang thing. But apparently that doesn't work for Norman as he has to run all the way up the stairs with the bat on his hand, flail around a bit, and then stab it a few times. Just a totally unnecessarily long scene that is so random and not in the least bit important to the story. I guess Fulci wanted to include it because he could.

Another strange Fulci choice: the insane amount of close-ups, especially on people's eyes. Whenever Ann and Norman are in the same room together, it's like a showdown at the OK Corral because all their communication is done through them looking at each other and Fulci zooming in on their eyes. There's also a few weird close-ups on random objects to dictate their importance. Zoom in on the girl's ring! The same ring appears in the basement later on! Zoom in on the bar where Peterson hung himself! I don't really know why this is important! Odd style choice. Not saying I hated it though, because it was rather amusing.

Again, despite the freaking horrible acting by the people doing to dubbed voices, The House by the Cemetery was hella fantastic and I will definitely be adding more Fulci films to my must-see list.