Movie Review: The ABCs of Death 2 (2014)

 

Oh man, here we go again. No time for much of an introduction for today's film, kids, because I've finally gotten around to seeing The ABCs of Death 2 (so I'm lazy and waited for it to come on streaming, what) which means I have 26 little films to talk about here. So let's just get into it.

I did the same kind of rating system that I did for the first ABCs of Death to make it a little easier for me - a star for ones that I really liked, a half-star for ones that I sorta liked but didn't really wow me, and a sad face mostly for ones that I was too stupid to get. So if I mention stars and half-stars and sad faces, that's what I'm talking about.

"A is for Amateur"

Directed by E.L. Katz

Not a bad way to start things out. I have not seen Katz's other directorial effort Cheap Thrills, but I have heard many good things about it. And I totally believe it after seeing Amateur. There's a really good flashy montage with funky music at the beginning to set up the story of a hitman going after his next mark - and then things go very wrong. Apparently those air ducts that people crawl around in are not always as clean as they are in the movies... Wonderfully funny twist at the end of this one.

 

"B is for Badger"

Directed by Julian Barratt

Things are starting off good. There are a couple attempts at found footage with ABCs of Death 2 and Badger is the first one. It is a very funny and simple story of a camera crew shooting a segment for their nature show called "Toland's World" about the supposed death of a badger colony or whatever because of a new power plant built nearby. The host is a bit of a douche so you'll like what happens here and hopefully you'll chuckle a bit, too.

 

"C is for Capital Punishment"

Directed by Julian Gilbey

Another simple story here, but one that really packs a punch with its intent and message. There's a missing girl in an obviously close-knit village and some poor guy has been accused and convicted by his peers. This segment has some great, horrific special effects and I really liked its comment not only on the death penalty, but also on the idea of the court of public opinion with the scene at the beginning.

 

"D is for Deloused"

Directed by Robert Morgan

The first of only two animated segments in the whole film and the first segment to get a sad-face notation from me. The animation is odd, as is the story that it tries to tell, so it was hard for me to really get a grasp on it. I'm not saying it was bad at all, just that it didn't really do anything for me.

 

 

"E is for Equilibrium"

Directed by Alejandro Brugues

A different location for a horror film, Equilibrium concerns two men that have apparently been stranded on a island for some time, when a woman suddenly washes ashore to join them. The story is very tongue-in-cheek but also just the slightest bit insulting so I can't totally give it my approval. I did love the filming technique they used, though, with the constantly moving camera to make it look like it was all mostly one shot but there are really several scenes and transitions within it.

 

 

"F is for Falling"

Directed by Aharon Keshales and Navot Papushado

I thought the guys who gave me the two amazing films Rabies and Big Bad Wolves would do the same here. Sadly, though, their segment Falling left me a little perplexed and not sure how to feel about it just yet. It involves a female soldier stuck in a parachute in a tree and the guy who comes to rescue her. Actually the quick series of unfortunate events reminded me of Rabies a little. However, the segment didn't have near enough punch that I know these guys are capable of giving us.

 

 

"G is for Grandad"

Directed by Jim Hosking

Oh my. What was this? Very, very odd little tale of a grown man living with his dear old Grandad - and then some weird shit happens. I really don't know what else to say about this one! I'm scared to learn where the idea for this one came from, that's for sure. Still, it does look good and has a nice setting and look for the actors, who are quite committed to their roles and really sell... whatever the hell this is supposed to be about.

 

 

"H is for Head Games"

Directed by Bill Plympton

The other animated segment of the anthology, and another one that I couldn't find myself getting behind. The animation is like pencil sketchings and has a male head and a female head starting out kissing, and then their bodies start to do weird stuff to each other with lots of exaggerated sound effects in the background. When the title comes up at the end of Head Games, it does make a bit more sense what they were trying to do but not enough for me to really love it.

 

 

"I is for Invincible"

Directed by Erik Matti

Haha, very nice shift from the last couple of segments! Invincible has a group of four people, supposedly relatives, who are torturing and trying to kill a bound old woman for her inheritance, but she just doesn't seem to want to die. There's a great sense of humor here and again, some very cool effects. The setting was also unique as well. They could have shot this anywhere, really, but instead chose a place where the set dressing was elaborate and plush and the colors were great.

 

 

"J is for Jesus"

Directed by Dennison Ramalho

There are few segments in this sequel anthology that actually have a really great story and I think this is definitely one of them. A gay man is tortured by two people apparently trying to exorcise the gay out of him when he is saved by a very special person. Good bloody scenes, and great makeup on one of the characters later on, and an important message. Nice work.

 

 

"K is for Knell"

Directed by Kristina Buozyte and Bruno Samper

Ugh, another one that is technically really good, but that I really didn't get! A "knell" is like a death knell, when a bell rings all solemnly meaning impending death or something. The knell in the story is this weird, unexplainable thing that appears in the sky and how its effects come after one woman in her apartment. Again, the segment looks good and is really well shot, but I needed a bit more information and/or explanation to help me out a bit.

 

 

"L is for Legacy"

Directed by Lancelot Imasuen

The weakest segment of the bunch so far. The story is okay - some guys in a tribal village are about sacrifice some other guy but stop and then a big hairy monster walks around and kills people - but the execution is not as impressive as most of the other segments, especially the gore effects. The acting is also quite weak and lazy. However, I do really hope that the director's name is actually Lancelot.

 

 

"M is for Masticate"

Directed by Robert Boocheck

A quick, fun segment that just shows a fat, sweaty, hairy man running down the streets (in slow motion) attacking people. The final shot explains it all with one line of dialogue and it was actually pretty funny, so I have to at least half-like it for that.
I also really hope that the director's name is actually Boocheck.

 

 

"N is for Nexus"

Directed by Larry Fessenden

I'm only familiar with four of the directors this time around, and Larry Fessenden is definitely one of those. His contribution is Nexus, a cute but then tragic story about two people meeting up in the city for Halloween (dressed as Frankenstein and the Bride of Frankenstein), and one person who ruins it all. Fessenden found a wonderful way to actually work the title and the letter of his segment into the story, which kinda makes it all the more sad and all the more meaningful.

 

 

"O is for Ochlocracy (Mob Rule)"

Directed by Hajime Ohata

The real "wow" segment of ABCs of Death 2 doesn't come until the very end, but Ochlocracy is one of those gems that comes pretty close. The story they came up with here is absolutely fantastic, one of the ones that I would love to see get made into a full-length feature. In the short, a woman is being tried in a court of zombies for the murders that she committed during the zombie outbreak (shortly after the outbreak, a cure was found and the zombies are sorta alive and sentient now). Excellent idea for turning the zombie story on its head and coming up with something really interesting and unique.

 

 

"P is for P-P-P-P Scary!"

Directed by Todd Rohal

 Now that doesn't start with the letter P, like, at all. I'm calling shenanigans. Again, I didn't really get this segment at all. The style is sort of like The Three Stooges or something similar but the story just makes no sense. Definitely more comedy than horror here, and even then, more just weird goofball stuff that wasn't even funny than actual comedy. Nah, didn't like it.

 

"Q is for Questionnaire"

Directed by Rodney Ascher

You know, I always knew that taking intelligence tests from random people on the street was a bad idea. And now the main character of this segment does, too. This part of the story is intercut with what ends up happening after the character finishes his questionnaire, and it deserves a half-star for this easily readable technique that gets right to the punch and the point of the short. Are you starting to see what kinds of things I gravitate more towards? I can't help it, that's what I like.

 

"R is for Roulette"

Directed by Marvin Kren

Another one that deserves a half-star for being well-made and at least coherent, but is still shy of doing something that really wowed me. Roulette is shot in black and white and is set in the 40s, with three people in a basement playing Russian roulette. It doesn't look like they are being forced to or anything, but there is something outside the room that seems fairly sinister to them. There's a small twist to the story, and I really would have liked to know what was outside - another short that might qualify for a longer treatment - but otherwise nicely done.

 

"S is for Split"

Directed by Juan Martinez Moreno

Now, this one gets a full star for sure. Split refers to the editing technique used in the short which fans of the TV show 24 will love seeing again. The short feels like a quick re-cut of an action or thriller movie, especially because of the story - a man calls home from his trip away and while talking to his wife, overhears someone breaking into their house and then... you'll have to find out. Again, just a good simple story with a nice twist. Like the perfect cocktail, that's all you need.

 

"T is for Torture Porn"

Directed by Jen and Sylvia Soska

Oh my little Soska twins, I wanted to like your segment so much but I really wasn't feeling it. The turn in the story from a woman being filmed by a bunch of douchebags to audition for a movie was way too over-the-top. I will say that it definitely got the point across of what they were trying to say about the treatment of women in films and in filmmaking. However, the fantastical manifestation they came up with for that wasn't to my personal liking and seemed to overshadow the message, which was actually a really good one. 

 

"U is for Utopia"

Directed by Vincenzo Natali

Perfect! Utopia is another segment that works the letter into the story. In a futuristic mall of sorts, all the people are perfectly dressed and coifed, and there is one guy that obviously is out of place and ill-fitting of the rest of the patrons. He is scanned as a "sub-norm" and immediately dealt with by the utopian police. Another good message that hits a lot harder once the title pops up at the end, backed up by a well made short. Full star!

 

"V is for Vacation"

Directed by Jerome Sable

I grudgingly gave Vacation a half-star. It's another attempt at found footage, where a guy video chats with his girlfriend while he's on a vacation with his friend - and he's been naughty. I hate, hate, hate douchebaggy characters like this in movies but something still made me appreciate the segment in some small way. Maybe because they both die, I don't know. Maybe the blood and the little twist. Still didn't wow me. Now I'm thinking about changing my half-star to a sad face. I'll get back to you on this one.

 

"W is for Wish"

Directed by Steven Kostanski

This was another segment that came up with a cool concept. It starts out like a toy commercial with two little boys playing with the "Champions of Zorb" and all the fun they are having - until they are actually transported to the world of the toy. And this world is definitely not kid-friendly. I like the dark comedy of this segment and the way they turn a seemingly innocent child's toy on its head. "Fantasy Man"? Not really the kind of fantasy man you want him to be...

 

"X is for Xylophone"

Directed by Julien Maury and Alexandre Bustillo

Oh. My. Goodness. They really saved some of the best for last. Xylophone has the badass Beatrice Dalle (a.k.a the psycho bitch from Inside) as a babysitter who just can't handle the annoying way her charge plays the xylophone while she's trying to listen to some nice, classical music. The ending is so unbelievably graphic and horrible that you wonder how they got away with it, but you are so glad they did. Would I sound completely horrible if I said I laughed a lot at this segment too? Whatever, I did. It was awesome.

 

"Y is for Youth"

Directed by Soichi Umezawa

Our second-to-last segment is yet another cool concept that is brought to life very well. An unhappy teenage girl is sitting between her mother and stepfather at the dinner table, and in her mind, as she goes through all the things that she hates about them, she fantasizes about what gruesome things should happen. Despite being fantastical and dream-like, I found myself liking the way her frustrations manifested themselves - even with the strange vacuum made out of fries.

 

"Z is for Zygote"

Directed by Chris Nash

Ah! Finally, I can talk about this one! They definitely picked the right filmmaker to end the whole shebang that is ABCs of Death 2, because Zygote is without a doubt the best segment of the whole bunch. A pregnant woman waits thirteen years for the return of her husband while their child continues to grow and grow inside her. The segment is touching in an odd way at first, though the main character is a little pathetic, and then things go totally gruesome and awesome around the middle, and then it ends with the viewer having some very bad thoughts in their head. I would love to talk more about the uber-gruesome part, but I don't want to spoil it. Let's just say there is a bit of a Lucio Fulci influence. LOVED this segment.

Much like its predecessor, The ABCs of Death 2 has about the same outcome you would expect from an anthology with so many different segments in it - some good, some bad. Unlike its predecessor, though, there were not nearly as many shorts that could easily be dismissed as just plain bad. Most of the segments this time around had something going for them with either style or substance, and even if they weren't exactly to my personal taste, I can still appreciate almost all of them. Seven segments really stood out for me in different ways, and those were Amateur, Badger, Ochlocracy, Split, Utopia, Xylophone, and Zygote.

Also something I noticed about ABCs of Death 2 was that it was overall much less wild and crazy as the first one, and that is definitely a good thing. There is nothing like F is for Fart this time, but there is also nothing like L is for Libido, either (even though Xylophone and Zygote come very close). The whole film is much more watered down and tame, and therefore, I think, just that much better.

Stay for the credits on this movie, too! There's an update for ABCs of Death 3 and a quite odd appearance from Laurence R. Harvey.

Hopefully I can get another nasty comment like I did on my review of the first film. :)

Movie Review: The ABCs of Death (2012)

Oh dear goodness, this was a test of perseverance. As I often like to take notes while I'm watching a new movie - just random thoughts that help me write my reviews later - The ABCs of Death nearly kicked my ass because a movie that was already over 2 hours long took me around 3 hours to watch because I had to keep pausing and writing. And like I predicted, I was sometimes writing very positive things and sometimes writing very, very negative things. The ABCs of Death is just like any anthology wherein you have hits and misses, but this one had far too many misses to make me recommend the whole thing.

So you probably know the deal here: Twenty-six filmmakers from around the world were each given a letter of the alphabet, and they had to come up with a word that started with that letter to make a short film about death. Out of the 26, I count 9 that I put stars by, meaning that I really liked it, and 3 that I put half stars by, meaning that I sorta liked it. I guess that's not so bad but a lot of these dudes could have done so much better. And a lot of them needed to stay away from anything having to do with the bathroom.

"A is for Apocalypse"

Directed by Nacho Vigalando

This was an excellent way to start things out. This is the kind of short film that I really like - they get the main point across but the story has so much room to grow if it was given more time. The lighting is beautiful and the effects work is absolutely killer. This one definitely gets a star.

"B is for Bigfoot"

Directed by Adrian Garcia Bogliano

Could have been so much better if two things had happened: one, if there had actually been a freaking Bigfoot in the short, and two, if the director hadn't wasted so much of the minimal time on the two characters telling the story rather than showing us something interesting. Weak. The main actress was good, though.

"C is for Cycle"

Directed by Diaz Espinoza

A mysterious hole in the bushes of a man's backyard are the center of a strange "cycle" of events in this short. The production quality leaves a little to be desired, but again this was semi-interesting because I can see it being a part of a much larger story. 

"D is for Dogfight"

Directed by Marcel Sarmiento

Easily my favorite one of all! "Dogfight" shows a boxer in some kind of underground Fight Club type thing were he has to fight a vicious dog. The whole thing is in slow motion and it looks so freaking pretty, you guys! The angles are perfect, and I'll be damned if the dog isn't one really good actor. It's a simple story with a simple little twist to it that had me totally LOLing and falling in love with this thing at the same time. Two thumbs up!

"E is for Exterminate"

Directed by Angela Bettis

I'm so sorry, my dear Angela, but this was lame. The CGI spider was bad enough but then the whole ending was completely ruined because it's so similar to an urban legend that's been around for years. I guess I was expecting something a bit more imaginative. Still love you, girlfriend.

"F is for Fart"

Directed by Noboru Iguchi

I have nothing nice to say about this. That is all.

"G is for Gravity"

Directed by Andrew Traucki

The death of a surfer is so... boring. All this consisted of was a POV shot of a guy getting his stuff out of the back of his car, running onto the beach and into the water, paddling around for a little bit, and then somehow falling in the water and drowning or something. The last shot is the surfboard standing on end in the water. Guess I don't get it, or it's just not all that impressive. Boo.

"H is for Hydro-Electric Diffusion"

Directed by Thomas Cappelen Malling

Thus begins one of the many "What in the holy fuck is this" shorts. Or maybe it began with the fart one. A Nazi cat stripteasing for a dogfighter dog and then trying to kill him with some electric machine thing? Was this a reference to something else that I totally didn't get? Whatever. Hated it.

"I is for Ingrown"

Directed by Jorge Michel Grau

Gorgeous. A woman tied up in a bathtub is being murdered by her husband, with some really beautiful and meaningful dialogue playing in the background. The actress is also beautiful and so committed to the role that it is painful to watch the way she scratches at her throat and arms, and the way whatever her husband injected her with makes her vomit through her gag. Ew. Really nice job here, Mr. Grau!

"J is for Jidai-Geki (Samurai Movie)"

Directed by Yudai Yamaguchi

There's not a lot of substance or meaning to this short, but it's good for a bit of a laugh. The effects aren't bad, however, I'm still wondering about those wigs or whatever it was those guys had on the tops of their heads. Was there a point to that?

"K is for Klutz"

Directed by Anders Morganthaler

"K is for Klutz" is one of a few animated shorts in the bunch. Though the animation is nice, poo and toilet humor has, was, and always will be incredibly juvenile and unfunny so this one lost points with me for the subject matter.

"L is for Libido"

Directed by Timo Tjahjanto

This is one that started out like it could be half-funny, half-serious but then turned into all kinds of serious. It actually turns out to be pretty fucking fucked up, as it deals with the depths of sexual perversion and gratification. The gore is excellent with the spikes that come up through the chairs, and the images just get worse and worse as this short invades your mind. You all know I love the dark stuff so I was all over this one - even though there is a quick scene involving a child that... I can't even go there. The set is amazing, the acting is good, this looks like a real movie. Loved it.

"M is for Miscarriage"

Directed by Ti West

A shorter than short, lazy piece of "filmmaking." I expected so much more from Ti West because though this short does deliver an effective punch, it is by far the weakest of all the shorts and even worse than the fart one. So, so disappointing.

"N is for Nuptials"

Directed by Banjong Pisanthanakun

Surprisingly a very cute and entertaining piece about a man who buys a parrot to help him propose to his girlfriend and the parrot ends up revealing one of the man's secrets which turns out to be deadly for him! This one got a half star just for being funny even though there's not much else to the story. The actors are also beyond adorable.

"O is for Orgasm"

Directed by Bruno Forzani and Helene Cattet

Not so much a short film as an experimental film, and a well done one at that. I couldn't give it a star because it just didn't do anything for me on a personal level, but I can admit that it is beautifully shot and is very good at keeping your attention. I would appreciate if someone would explain the bubbles to me, though.

"P is for Pressure"

Directed by Simon Rumley

Really nice story that is told with no dialogue and a succession of quick shots and short scenes to show the hard life of a young single woman with three kids. There's no horror element to the story, and it instead reaches you on a real emotional level that hits hard. I'll never condone the killing of a kitten for a bicycle but at least there's a happy ending. This one gets a star for sure.

"Q is for Quack"

Directed by Adam Wingard

OMG, this was genius. Director Adam Wingard and writer Simon Barrett (love both of these dudes) play themselves in the short, lamenting over the fact that they were assigned the letter "Q" for their ABCs of Death segment. Needless to say, they come up with a clever way to solve their problem - even if it doesn't have very good consequences for them. Too funny. I love these dudes even more now!

"R is for Removed"

Directed by Srdjan Spasojevic

From the director of the controversial A Serbian Film (which I still need to write about...) comes another hardcore - no pun intended - story about... something. Yeah, it was another one I didn't get at all. Some kind of medical experiment on a guy who's got pieces of film strip in his flesh or something? Is that right? Then he escapes and kills everyone in pretty gross ways. A lot of these shorts are starting to make me feel really, really stupid and like I should have paid more attention in English lit class about symbolism and all that crap. I need to read up on this one some more.

"S is for Speed"

Directed by Jake West

Hated this at first because it was incredibly amateurish and hokey looking, but it ended up getting a half star for turning into a more serious story about death chasing a pair of junkie girls. Nice turnaround!

"T is for Toilet"

Directed by Lee Hardcastle

After Dogfight, this is definitely my second favorite of all the segments. It's a pretty crude (effects-wise) claymation short about a boy's fear of the toilet. He has a dream where the toilet turns into a monster and hideously devours his parents, with some great stuff that is all the more entertaining because it's claymation. The ending is funny in a really, really horrible way - but you will completely love it. "Danny Glover had nothing to be afraid of in Lethal Weapon 2." So true.

"U is for Unearthed"

Directed by Ben Wheatley

Unearthed is the only short to take on a true horror trope - vampires! It's another one that avoids the cost of effects by doing it in POV but it works here, as a vampire first escapes from the earth, attacks people in the woods, and then is ceremoniously put down. Simple, but effective. That's all you need to do, people. Good work.

"V is for Vagitus (The Cry of a Newborn Baby)"

Directed by Kaare Andrews

Okay, um... wow! So put Vagitus up next to Miscarriage, and you'll understand my frustration with Mr. Ti West. Vagitus has this whole crazy sci-fi story about the future and prophets and babies - I don't care! There was wonderful action, acting, and effects work in such a short time that it felt like someone had cut together the best parts of a full length movie. Excellent!

"W is for WTF!"

Directed by Jon Schnepp

WTF indeed. It starts out as a real story, similar to what they did in Quack actually, but then just turns into a series of random shots of stuff I don't remember. The title pops onto screen at the end and you go, Oh. So none of that was supposed to make any sense or anything. Just a lot of WTF shots. Boring. Not creative.

"X is for XXL"

Directed Xavier Gens

Fucking YES, you guys. This was beyond perfect in so many ways. It's a social commentary, a moral commentary, and so incredibly gruesome and disturbing in an incredibly meaningful, heartbreaking way. Love, love, love it.

"Y is for Youngbuck"

Directed Jason Eisener

So, no one likes a perverted old guy and Eisener goes about the subject of revenge in a very interesting way. Still, I didn't like it. Not enough explanation or exploration, and it really needed to flesh out the story just a bit more.

"Z is for Zetsumetsu (Extinction)"

Directed by Yoshihiro Nishimura

Very much the biggest WTF short of all - it out-WTFs the previous WTF segment, and I didn't know that was possible. I have no idea what this was about or what the point of it was so therefore I don't care and I don't like it. There's naked chicks and big penises, and way more ridiculousness than I can handle. An ADULT made this thing, right? Oi vey.

FINALLY, THE END. Okay, so I'm naming my top three favorites as Dogfight, Toilet, and XXL. Least favorite and most disappointing was Miscarriage, and also Hydro-Electric Diffusion, Gravity... and about 10 other ones. I was hoping for a better balance of hits and misses with all these shorts but I guess that might have been impossible with all these different personalities and styles. We'll see what a new crop of directors can come up with in the next ABCs of Death!