Anthology Quest: Trilogy of Terror (1975)

How could one little TV movie from the 70s become such a cult classic and icon? None of us in this generation should even know this movie exists - it should be in the black void with all the other TV movies that most people don't care about. And yet this one has become immensely popular and held that popularity for over 30 years. And it's all because of one little Zuni fetish doll. 

But! As this is an anthology movie, before we meet that little stinker we still have two more stories to work through, all of them starring Karen Black and all of them named after the character she is playing. The stories are all very different and one just follows another with a title card indicating the beginning of a new story - there is no connective tissue, or wraparound, between them like some other anthologies have. All you really need to know is that Black is the lead in all of the stories, and that all the stories were written by or based on works by the Richard Matheson, which was something I didn't know before. And I love Matheson, so this was especially exciting to learn.

Story One: Julie

Okay, this... was creepy. First off, we meet Chad and find out that he is maybe somewhat of a dick when he's sitting around outside school and complaining about all the ugly chicks. Nice. Then his teacher, Julie Aldridge, walks by. She older and frumpy, wearing a big suit jacket and long skirt, glasses, with her hair pulled back unattractively. And suddenly Chad wonders what she looks like underneath all those clothes... Long story sort of short, Julie and Chad go out one night, he drugs her, he takes lewd pictures of her while she's out (and maybe rapes her), then shows her the pictures the next day and blackmails her into becoming his sex slave or something. 

Wow. Did not expect something so pervy and disturbing, or that Matheson would be such a sick puppy. However, like any good storyteller Matheson had something else up his sleeve for this story and by the end turns it into a pretty clever little tale, though it still leaves some things unanswered. The guy playing Chad is equal parts creepy and douchey in his role as rapist-in-training, and Black easily plays the... well, easy role of a meek woman who suddenly turns on a dime in the climax scene and shows us a whole different side to innocent little Julie. I was hoping for more of a character analysis of Julie at the end, though, and some inkling of an explanation for how she put this all into motion, but for now I'm just going to have to be content with speculating on my own.

Story Two: Millicent and Therese

Another story with some pervy and disturbing moments in it. This time, Black plays twin sisters Millicent and Therese. Millicent is the bookish, frumpy sister (really not all that different from Julie in the first story) and Therese is the blonde bombshell, evil slut one. Millicent is becoming increasingly paranoid about her sister and tries to convince some random guy - Mr. Anwar, but they never explain just who he is or what his relationship to Therese is - and her doctor that Therese is evil and is practicing demonology. Or something. 

Doesn't take a genius to figure out that Millicent and Therese are actually the same person. Sorry to ruin the surprise, but it's really quite obvious. They're never in the same room together, and when the doctor shows up at the house at Millicent's request, he talks to Therese but never asks where Millicent is. With that being the big twist ending to this story, I was disappointed that there wasn't more to it than that. I hate to say this, but I didn't think Black did a very good job in the sex bomb role of Therese. The wig was really distracting (another obvious key to the twist) and she just doesn't seem to have the right look or movement for this role. Still love you, Mother Firefly.

Story Three: Amelia

Alright, here we go! Zuni fetish dolls for the win!

"Amelia" is based on Matheson's short story called "Prey," and is very much like a one-woman play, with our one woman of course being Karen Black again. Amelia comes home to her apartment with a small wooden doll she's purchased for her boyfriend. It holds the spirit of a Zuni hunter, a spirit that is kept inside the doll by a gold chain around his body. After having an awkward conversation with her mother, and canceling her date with her boyfriend, Amelia sets the doll down on the table. As she leaves, the gold chain slowly slips off the doll's body...

As simple as this story is, the slight creepiness factor and the utter delight derived from the noises and quite hilarious antics of the Zuni doll are what keep Trilogy of Terror near the top of the cult classics list. Like Chucky from Child's Play, there is sort of that silliness of being afraid of something so small but also that innate fear of something with more power than you would expect that would stop at nothing to end you. Mr. Zuni Fetish Doll definitely qualifies for the latter category. This little guy is resourceful enough to open doors and saw his way out of a suitcase (my most vivid memory of the movie from first seeing it many years ago) and just be one scary ass, pint-sized mothereffer. The design of the doll is also wonderful. The little spear, the pointy teeth, the hair, the wrinkles in his overlarge head - he's looking pretty fantastic and he's awesome. Funny, but scary, just like he should be.

One thing that is really great about the whole "Amelia" story is that it is so confined - and if there is one thing I love, it is a claustrophobic movie. Love 'em. The entire story takes place in Amelia's apartment and there is no real contact with the outside world, even when Amelia is on the phone with her mother and her boyfriend. We see things from Amelia's side - not just being attacked by the doll, but also her obviously smothering relationship with her mother and choosing her over her boyfriend. Maybe all that doesn't seem important to what really happens in the story, but I think it's good to know what kind of person Amelia is so that we can both have sympathy for her and be surprised at her tenacity in this situation. She seems like a timid, meek person at the beginning, which makes her final "transformation" at the end all the more awesome and satisfying. That ending is also one of the best endings ever, I gotta say.

Though Trilogy of "Terror" is a bit of an overstatement for this anthology, as there is only one remotely terrifying story in the bunch, there is no doubt that it will continue to be a favorite cult classic for many years to come. Because we love killer Zuni fetish dolls. And because we like saying the words "fetish doll" and not meaning anything dirty. 

Movie Review: Burnt Offerings (1976)

Well, hey! I kinda dug this one! Good choice, y'all. Burnt Offerings always looked to me like it was going to be some mediocre 70s attempt at a haunted house story that wasn't scary at all. And while that last part is true - there are no scares in the movie at all - its simple and kinda-sorta original plot mixed with some cool characters played by cool actors make me want to give Burnt Offerings a thumbs up.

The Rolf family (which includes Marian, Ben, their son David, and Ben's aunt Elizabeth) rent a lovely Victorian house for their summer vacation from the quirky Allardyce siblings. The house soon begins to change the members of the family, especially Marian, who becomes increasingly obsessed with the house and with caring for the elderly Mrs. Allardyce whom no one but Marian has ever seen.

Burnt Offerings is a different look at the typical haunted house movie. Like most of them, it takes place in a very stately manor (gosh, just once I want to see a one-story ranch house like the one I live in be haunted) with a lot of history and is isolated from any surrounding neighbors. The house is a bit rundown when the Rolfs first arrive, but as their stay progresses, and as Marian and Ben do some basic upkeep on the place, it slowly starts to change seemingly on its own. The house becomes brighter and fresher, the plants come back to life, the flowers bloom, and the house becomes almost magically restored to its original state. But how? That is the question, indeed... There are no ghosts in the Allardyce home (which made me a little sad) but there is something freaky and supernatural going on and though it is never fully explained just what is happening, I liked this different take

Sidenote: What kind of summer vacation is it to stay in a house where you spend a good portion of your time cleaning and working on the place? Not to mention having to deal with the fact that there's a strange old lady upstairs who "supposedly" never leaves her room. Not exactly my idea of a relaxing 2 months away from home.

I loved all the actors in Burnt Offerings and the characters they created. Since the story is more about what happens to the family on the inside, rather than anything external, this is an important element for the film. Burgess Meredith gives a very funny performance in the first few scenes as wheelchair-bound "Brother" Allardyce, along with his sister Roz, played by Eileen Heckart. They don't do a very good job at hiding the fact that they are pretty weird and are probably hiding something from the Rolf family. Bette Davis is probably the best out of all the main actors, as she makes Aunt Elizabeth so incredibly charming and the kind of relative anybody would want to have. Ben's colorful relationship with her is very cute and endearing, which makes it all the more heartbreaking when the house's weird mojo makes Elizabeth lose her spunk and vitality.

The two leads, Karen Black and Oliver Reed (whom I had only seen in The Brood), are also pretty good, but they both have little quirks to their characters that make me a little unsure of them. As aforementioned, Marian becomes obsessed with the house and its history, spending much of her time in Mrs. Allardyce's sitting room. She even starts to dress in an old-timey manner, with cameo chokers and flowing robes, and wearing her hair back in a bun. But with this comes one of the movie's problems, which is that it is never explained just what the power of the house is and what it is doing to Marian. Is it stealing the youth of the families that inhabit it to make itself new again? Does it just take one person to become "Mrs. Allardyce" who will always take care of the house? I dunno. But it did make for one freaky ending to the movie.

Ben has a weird thing from his past that is also never explained. He keeps having dreams and flashbacks to his mother's funeral when he was a child and this creepy smiling chauffeur that he sees there. That's it. No elaboration at all. This is just something that I guess scared him as a kid and it has traumatized him, but goodness knows why. I mean, the guy was kind of scary looking, but why would this have such an affect on Ben as an adult?

Anyway, Burnt Offerings was still a cool movie. The conclusion is pretty awesome and gives us some great gore and violence that comes as a total surprise after the rather uneventful rest of the movie. This one is a nice slow, methodical tale with an interesting story and great actors to pull the whole thing along.