Movie Review: Cursed (2005)

 

What exactly is it about the werewolf subgenre that makes me so weary? Maybe it's because I have seen so few werewolf movies, and even less that I was really impressed with. But why is that? Was I ruined on them after watching seven Howling sequels in close succession? What is so hard about making a good werewolf movie? We'll have to discuss that more in depth at a later time, because right now I want to talk a little bit about Cursed, a movie that I thought I had seen a long time ago and probably did but just forgot about...

Anyway. Cursed is about a brother and sister who are attacked by a werewolf one night after a car accident. They must soon figure out who the werewolf is that bit them in order to save each other and the cursed line that the wolf has created.

Though Cursed was helmed by my much beloved Wes Craven, along with his previous screenwriting collaborator Kevin Williamson, I can't really say that I loved the movie all that much. Craven does indeed have a distinct style where many of his later movies are quick, snazzy affairs with a cheeky sense of humor and a camera eye that doesn't shy away from the action. This makes Cursed at least a fun movie to watch for an evening, but nothing that groundbreaking in the werewolf genre. I did like how the mythology of the wolves in this one was a bit closer to The Wolf Man from 1941 with the gypsy girl and the marks on the palms of those bitten. Everything else in the movie was pretty standard fare that's been seen before.

The characters are nice enough, if not a bit cliché. Brother and sister pair Jimmy and Ellie are played by Jesse Eisenberg and Christina Ricci. Eisenberg acts basically the same as he does in everything else I've ever seen him in, so no surprise there. He's your typical high school reject who gets picked on for no reason by the school jock and has a crush on a girl who is out of his league. It's again no surprise when he's able to use his new werewolf abilities to fight back at the bullies in a not-as-exciting-as-they-want-it-to-be wrestling scene in the gym. Ho-hum.

Ricci has always been a favorite of mine (not to mention a serious girl crush) so I immediately liked her. The only backstory given on her is that she's obviously the older sibling and is all stressed out from her job and from having to take care of herself and Jimmy after the death of their parents. She finds hope in boyfriend Jake (Joshua Jackson), but he's a former playboy and not to be trusted. He's one of the red herrings for the werewolf that has killed two girls and is now after Jimmy and Ellie - but I sort of had that situation all figured out anyway. The whole cast is actually pretty good, with all recognizable names and faces - Portia deRossi, Judy Greer, Shannon Elizabeth, Mya, Michael Rosenbaum, etc. Oh, and Scott Baio, for some reason, playing himself.

The werewolf scenes are not amazing, but workable. The one transformation we get to see is pretty horrible - all CGI and just plain bad when compared to the greatest transformation ever from An American Werewolf in London. Shannon Elizabeth is offed first when Ellie rams her car off a cliff and then a werewolf pulls her out and kills her. I always see online a picture of the aftermath of her death with just half a body, but either I wasn't paying attention or Netflix has some edited version of the movie because I didn't see it this time. Mya is killed next in a parking garage after a pretty nice chase sequence where we actually get to see the full-bodied werewolf, which is surprising because you don't usually see that this early on in the film. There is also one kind of ridiculous but hilarious scene where Jimmy's dog Zipper has become this weird werewolf-Labrador mix. It looks totally silly but is obviously supposed to be, and it's something new so I was actually okay with it.

Things get more interesting and fun when the action moves to the main set piece - a club designed by Jake called Tinsel, which is pretty much like a wax museum, complete of course with a scene of Lon Chaney Jr. as the Wolf Man. There's a nicely effective scene in the Hall of Mirrors and some nice fighting sequences with the werewolf, despite the horrible transformation. The werewolf's death has a little nod to Scream, which made me chuckle. There's a double ending to the film overall, though, and I was happy that this one was at least a little more violent and exciting than the rest of the movie. A decapitation and fire - not bad. Not all the way good, either, but not bad.

A small part of me has to like Cursed because of Craven, but I don't really have any problem saying that it's not one I'll be watching all the time. I like the kitschy sense of humor - it has a werewolf flipping people off, for crying out loud - and the fun that the actors seem to be having with the movie, but there's definitely something missing. I guess it's just that this isn't really how I like my werewolf movies. I need them more bloody and serious, maybe, and not so silly.

Movie Review: Zombieland

Why is it that zombies seem to be the only monster in the horrorverse that make the best butts of jokes for horror comedy films? There are a few funny vampire movies out there, but they don't seem to work as well as funny zombie movies. Sorry to curse, but GODDAMN I waited too fucking long to see this movie. What's wrong with me?

Zombieland takes place after a zombie apocalypse and follows a survivor, Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg), trying to make it back home to find his parents. He soon meets up with Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), a man who has adapted well to the plague of zombies and thoroughly enjoys killing them by any means. They are both trying to get to their respective namesakes until trouble arises in the form of Wichita (Emma Stone) and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin). Columbus comes to like Wichita, which complicates things as the girls constantly swindle the boys for their own advantages.

First of all, the opening credits were quite enjoyable. Two thumbs up for that little bit.

Zombieland was for shizz a great zombie horror comedy. It runs a very close second to Shaun of the Dead as being the best out there (one more bad-mouth comment about Shaun of the Dead and I will personally feed you all to the zombies myself when they take over the world). Most importantly, this is the kind of humor that I like. Play-on-words comedy, references to pop culture, and dry, sarcastic comments. I don't know why, but I found it exceedingly hilarious when Columbus announced that he had to "take the Browns to the Super Bowl."

Do I even need to mention how funking glorious Woody Harrelson is in, like, pretty much anything? Especially love his comedy roles because he is hi-larious. The perfect Tallahassee: lots of kick-assedness, unapologetic redneck goodness to be had here. Jesse Eisenberg... yes, he seems to have bit from everything about the dude who played Bleeker in Juno, but I don't give a shit. He was good at what he did and he made me laugh. Abigail Breslin I adore from Little Miss Sunshine, and she's getting better. I see a really good actress emerging.

I don't think I even have to mention the scenes with Bill Murray. So awesome. I loved the part where they were playing Ghostbusters just like I used to do with my cousins as a kid. Ah, memories. They had the proton packs and the trap, everything but the jumpsuit. It was killer.

The film is oddly not exactly plot-driven. There is a basic plot - they all want to go to the place that has no zombies - but it's decidedly pretty thin. The movie seems to be about something else. Comedy films usually have a touch of heart to them, and this is no exception. Every character seems to be looking for something in this new Zombieland to help them get over what they have lost in the crisis and learn to accept things as they are.

In the hands of comedy writers, this idea manifests itself in, for instance, Woody's character Tallahassee on a constant search for a Twinkie (did you notice the parallel of the Twinkie scene from Ghostbusters? I did). He's not really looking for a Twinkie. Well, he is, but it's what the Twinkie represents. Oh, gosh, stop me if I'm going overboard. He lost his son, so everything good about the world had basically been taken away from him. If he gets his Twinkie, then there's still a bit of happiness and goodness left in the world.

Columbus is a caring but shy guy who in the past avoided people because they basically ignored him. Like he says at the end, he's found a new family in this gang of zombie-killing misfits because they accept him for who he is and he feels like he has a place in the world.

Or maybe not. Maybe I'm looking too much into it.

The only nitpick is maybe some of the earlier scenes go on a little long, when they don't really add anything to the plot. Mostly, the scene of Columbus's encounter with 406. I felt like that whole part was a little out of place.

Gore fans don't despair! Too much. The zombie people-eating is fairly good in Zombieland. Nice make-up and gore, although nothing really that memorable. I like the idea of the Zombie Kill of the Week. Banjo-smashing was pretty good, but they really could have come up with WAY more interesting ways to kill zombies than we saw in this movie. Where's the ingenuity?

Good fun film! Yea! Me likey.