Movie Review: Eraserhead

Well, I just saw Eraserhead for the first time and I have to say.... well, um... I, uh... I mean it was really... Uhhhhhhhh...

Frankly, I'm speechless. Not because it was so fascinatingly glorious, either. Because I have no words. Because I have no idea what I just watched. Anybody out there who has the slightest inkling of what Eraserhead is about, I consider you to be a fucking genius. And I suspect a lot of people feel the same way.

I don't even know how to write a review for this movie. I don't know what it was about, much less what the fuck it means. Was this even a movie? Or did David Lynch magically insert a camera into his brain to record this bizarre dream he had one night? 

Okay, I kind of see some stuff going on with an aversion to or fear of fatherhood. Also some crap about living in a crappy city. Then he stares at the radiator and imagines a woman with golf balls in her cheeks standing on stage and singing. And he has an affair with the hot woman across the hall who turns out to be an uncaring slut. Then he has some kind of dream or vision where his head falls off, lands on the street, some kid picks it up, and takes it to some dude who does what? Makes a pencil eraser from his brain? I don't know. I thought my dreams were weird, but DAMN. Whatever this Henry guy is on... actually, I DON'T want any.

I mean, this is experimental filmmaking if anything, certainly not a coherent or linear narrative (for the most part). Which is cool... I'm a experimental filmmaker from way back - well, college anyway - but it might have helped to know that before jumping into the movie, expecting a "regular" movie. Then again, you can't ever expect anything regular from David Lynch, can you? So that was dumb thinking. People call all this bizarro imagery in Eraserhead "art," and I guess it's not the kind of art I'm attracted to. 

Ugh, seriously, this is getting cut way short because I still have nothing to say. Just go have fun reading the IMDb messageboards about this movie. It's basically a bunch of posts with people saying that the movie is trash and they don't get it and other people calling them stupid because they don't get it and yet other people telling THEM they are stupid because no one really knows what the movie is about and only those really pretentious movie critics claim to actually get it. So that sort of makes me feel better about myself. But not really. 

Oi, I just want some banana pudding.