Franchise Review: Puppet Master [9]: Axis of Evil (2010)

 

I have finally gotten over my anger at Puppet Master 8 long enough to trudge along to the next film in the series. It wasn't easy, I tell you. That movie was a really, really disappointing piece of shit. Granted, Puppet Master: Axis of Evil, the ninth film in the series, is not hugely impressive or anything but it's still a fuck of a lot better than its predecessor.

Taking place literally immediately after the first Puppet Master, this film introduces a new master that has never been mentioned before. Young Danny Coogan works at the Bodega Bay Inn and takes the puppets from their hiding spot after Andre Toulon kills himself. The Nazis who came after Toulon apparently also had another mission - and Danny and the puppets work together to put a stop to them.

So I had a slight panic attack at the beginning of this movie when they started showing archival footage from the original Puppet Master. But thankfully only just enough was used to establish the new timeline, and actually, the old and the new footage blend together fairly well. The Nazi guys are obviously completely different, but the set was recreated with some care, and it was wonderful to see the original Toulon, William Hickey, again (although I prefer Guy Rolfe). Also a bit physically different are the puppets themselves. The design of Blade and Pinhead in particular are just a little off, although not radically.

If you've followed my Puppet Master reviews thus far, you've probably realized that I like the story best when it deals with Toulon and the Nazi angle. Well, Toulon obviously doesn't make it into this story so that sucks. Incredibly bad and stilted acting aside, the Nazi angle gets handled as best it can. Apparently, it was part of Hitler's evil plan for two random Nazis to hook up with one random Japanese chick to blow up this one random building in New York. There is some kind of American "secret ingredient" inside for making their missiles more powerful or something stupid like that, I don't remember. What I remember most from this movie is the horrible dialogue delivery from Dragon Lady, with all kinds of weird pauses and such. Oh, and her nails are also quite memorable. Those things were out of control. I like the color, though.

Sadly, once again, the puppets seem to only be a small plot point in Axis of Evil. We have to go through the whole thing of Danny messing with the puppets and figuring out how to animate them - INJECT THE GREEN STUFF INTO THEIR NECKS, JACKHOLE - and then they occasionally get some screen time. But really, why did he have to animate them again anyway? He got them literally right after Toulon put them into the trunk, so shouldn't they still be animated? This movie introduces us to a brand-new puppet, a ninja puppet cleverly named Ninja. The fun side to this guy is that he has the soul of Danny's brother Don, who as they establish a few times earlier in the movie is really good at sneaking up on people. See what they did there? Ninja has his trusty throwing stars and pretty much looks like a ninja except for his weird glowy red eyes. And Leech Woman is back!

Aside from the aforementioned Dragon Lady, the acting in this installment is surprisingly not that bad. It's incredibly cheesy and lame, like a bad war effort promotional video from the actual time period or something, but all the actors do their best with it. Danny, Don, their mother, and Danny's girlfriend Beth are quite likable (but still lame). It's pretty cruel when Mom and Don are gunned down by Nazi Klaus, but at least this part kicks off the final action sequence of the film. Leech Woman even gets in on it when she pukes up a leech onto the plate of one of the Japanese bodyguards and he stupidly eats it and somehow dies from it. The other bodyguard is tunneled in the head by Tunneler; Klaus gets a throwing star in his eye; and Max gets stabbed by Ninja. Dragon Lady escapes the film and the building with a bag that has the remaining puppets - Blade, Pinhead, and Ninja are left out - and the film ends by heavily implying that the next installment will be a direct continuation of this story. If it's not, then I will just be really pissed off and disappointed because that is no way to end a movie.

Puppet Master: Axis of Evil is actually not a bad entry into the series. It's not really great, either, just... passable. More important though, guys: Do I really just have ONE film left before I have completely finished the Puppet Master series? I can hardly believe it.