Project Terrible: Zombie Apocalypse: Redemption (2011)

In the previous Project Terrible round that we did, Robert from Gaming Creatively made me watch this horribly bad zombie movie with the clever title of The Zombie Apocalypse. And because I hated it so much, naturally he thought that I would enjoy its sequel - Zombie Apocalypse: Redemption. I seriously hope nobody expects me to actually remember anything about the first movie when talking about this one. The memory of that movie was erased from my brain about five seconds after I finished watching it, thank goodness. Let's see how quickly I can forget about this one.

So there's some kind of plot here. I'm sure of it. There's some text at the beginning that gives us a rundown of what's happened in the ZA - pretty much what you would expect because you've seen it before in an umpteen number of other zombie movies. Blah, blah, barren wasteland, blah, blah, horde of the undead. Basically the movie deals with two groups of ZA survivors - the good people and the bad people. Moses (Fred Williamson) is head of the good people and Rome (some really, really bad actor) is head of the bad people, but there's this other guy Knox who used to be with the bad people but got kicked out and is now helping the good people. Or something like that.

This is the kind of movie where you can only put up with so much for so long. I was okay with it when at the beginning Knox, who is left alone in the desert, pees on his handkerchief and puts it on his head to keep cool. And then he does it again. I was okay with the movie when they said earlier that zombies outnumbered people 10,000 to 1 and yet they still managed to have two huge groups of survivors that live so close together. I was okay with all the cliche characters and the cheesy line delivery. However, I think I lost any kind of faith in the movie with a single line of dialogue. The main bad guy Rome says to his slutty little concubine chick, "When I want your opinion, I'll rape it out of you."

No joke. Those words actually came out of somebody's mouth. I seriously didn't know whether to burst out laughing or throw my TV out the window. I was dumbstruck. Struck dumb. Really stupid or really horrible? I don't know that I'll ever be sure.

All the actors in this movie have a problem. That problem is, well, ACTING. They just... they just can't do it, you know? Sure, the awesome Fred Williamson is in this but he isn't given that much to do, and believe me, he wasn't enough to even  remotely save this movie from stupidity. I guess he's the reason why Redemption seems to have this little cult following on the Internet, or maybe its the awesomely awful actor who plays Knox and goes by the kick ass name of Johnny Gel. Please, please tell me that is his real name. It would make me so happy.

I'll be honest - I'm not really doing that fair of a review. I watched the movie... okay, well, half-watched the movie about a week ago and I didn't even finish it. I haven't felt the need to go back to it and I'm pretty sure that I never will. A zombie apocalypse movie is just fine in my book but to get my attention and interest you have to do something seriously different. Wasn't getting that from this one. Sorry if that means copping out on my Project Terrible duties but there are some things that just aren't happening. I won't be sharing a romantic dinner on a bearskin rug with the man of my dreams any time soon, and I sure as hell will not be watching Zombie Apocalypse: Redemption again. So my experience with the movie will have to stand as is.

I have real respect for anyone who not only got through this whole movie but who also actually likes it. I've got dedication for the genre, fo' shizz y'all and don't forget it, but this little gal can't handle it all. This is certainly not the worst out there by far so, by all means, give this puppy a go if you want! I'm thinking it could use a little love.